Dark Desires & Digital Dreams - part 2

Mike's (Incomplete) DVD Wish List continues...

The Humanoid (1979)

Big old Richard Kiel as the gentle giant come intergalactic hero! "Night Trains" director Aldo Lado hides behind a blatant "Star Warsian" pseudonym (George B. Lewis!), but the cast is just fabbo! Barbara Bach & Corrine Clery in the same movie? The mind boggles! The FX are cheesy but do the job, and Morricone's score is irritatingly catchy. Columbia Pictures used to hold the rights to this beauty, but I can't imagine it popping up on disc from them. In fact, I can't see it popping up on disc ever! I can but live in hope though…

The Hunger (1983)

Tony Scott's film is exquisite to look at, as are Deneuve & Sarandon. Bowie was extremely good, and the film holds some shockingly bloody moments. Easily the modern successor to Kumel's "Daughters of Darkness". It's only a matter of time before MGM-UA release this on disc. Widescreen & a new Dolby 5.1 surround remix would be nice (though widescreen & mono will do the job!). Let's see what happens…

Island Of The Fishmen (1979)

Having only ever seen Sergio Martino's original cut of this one, I can't say I'm all that interested in seeing Corman's American bastardisation "Screamers" (but strangely, that would make for an interesting double-disc set). It would be gratifying to once again see Martino's Jules Verne-styled children's adventure restored to its original version, albeit in a widescreen format. One of the few instances I would cry "The Director's Cut only or I don't want to know!"

Joseph Andrews (1978)

Now we're off the planet! Tony Richardson's Elizabethan sex-farce would be ever so glorious to enjoy in the DVD format. Just to see Ann Margret playing Lady Booby again would bring back warm memories of drive-in culture past. A Widescreen version would be nice, but I'd just like to see this on disc!

Joy (1983)

If I've mentioned "Emmanuelle", then I have to mention "Joy". Since Pagan did us the honour of Zara Whites' interpretation, then it would be no small pleasure to see Sergio Bergonzelli's original with Claudia Udy again either. Even better if the French track was restored as a cool extra, but better still if some one could track down the supremely amusing theatrical trailer. Ah, the French just do high-gloss soft-porn better than anyone…maybe they could also dig up the film version of Milo Manara's "The Click" while they're at it.


The Keep (1983)

Everyone hates Michael Mann's interpretation of F. Paul Wilson's novel, except me it would seem! Where to start? An incredible cast, exquisite visuals, a moody score by Tangerine Dream, and so on and so forth. Additional footage & alternate endings seem to exist, so there shouldn't be a shortage therein for extras. A commentary by Mann would be fascinating. Presentation wise a Panavision 2.35 Widescreen print & 5.1 sound at the very least. As an extra an isolated score would be soundly appreciated! Being a Paramount title though, this will undoubtedly become another dream unrealised…

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Fans of the franchise derided Jeff Burr's sequel, but I thought it was pretty harrowing piece of work, even in a truncated form. The ending most certainly did not work (the Hollywood-system concessions did not suit a film that should have remained fiercely independent), but otherwise I felt it was a fairly accomplished work. So, give Jeff's film back to him, and allow him to re-edit it back into the form it was meant to be seen in. it would be distinctly gratifying to think that maybe finished film elements still exist of the deleted footage. Hopefully, whoever lands the job will release it letterboxed (16x9 maybe?), and with a new 5.1 track. And for God's sake, let Jeff do a commentary to let the fans know what a pleasure it is to finally be able to give back audiences what New Line took away from him.

Long Weekend (1977)

Colin Eggleston's Eco-horror flick is the scariest motion picture I have ever seen, and that's saying something! People pull the piss out of us Australians because we produce films like "Young Einstein" and "Muriel's Wedding". The same detractors should dig up Eggleston's masterpiece and then try launching into the same tirade. You certainly won't look at camping with the same enthusiasm again! Short of tracking down Col' for an audio commentary (as lead actor John Hargreaves sadly passed away some years back), I feel that reproducing the original Panavision photography & some sort of audio remix (well, let's be honest, it deserves nothing less than Dolby 5.1 to ante up the scares) would come extremely close to doing this incredibly frightening film justice.

Motel Hell (1980)

It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters! The Black comedy horror classic is long overdue for a DVD release, but the good news is that it was a United Artists title. That means it won't be long before MGM-UA release a letterboxed (probably 16x9), stereo edition of Kevin Connor's kooky cannibal fest. If there's one drive-in hit of the eighties I want to see on disc, this is it!


My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Of all the "Friday The 13th" spinoffs, George Milhaka's film was one of the best (even as a double feature with Tobe Hooper's "Funhouse"). Sadly, it was also a casualty of the MPAA backlash of the early eighties. If it can't be released uncut, widescreen would be nice. Including the cut scenes (if they still exist) as "deleted scenes" would be even nicer. Convincing Milhaka to do a commentary would be even nicer still. As Paramount (the undisputed Kings of bare-bones discs) still hold the rights to this, I'm not holding my breath in anticipation of anything special. They could always surprise us though…(like that will happen!)

New Barbarians (1982)

More Castellari. More gore. More post apocalypse shenanigans, this time with George Eastman on board. Widescreen & uncut is all I ask.

Nightmare (1981)

So what's Romano Scavolino's twisted slasher epic doing here? Although a seriously twisted exercise, is there a single horror fan worth his salt who hasn't heard of this? Or shy of the US and bootleg circles, who has seen this nasty uncut? Hmmm, didn't think so. With all of the horrendously gruesome effects restored, I think there's a lot of people out there who just might buy this. If "Maniac" has its fans (obviously enough to warrant a DTS re-release), then I'm sure there's more than a few patiently awaiting Scavolino's film.

O Lucky Man! (1973)

The second episode in Lindsay Anderson's "Mick Travis" trilogy more than deserves a disc release, in fact some enterprising genius should release "If" and "Britannia Hospital" as well! In Widescreen & the full 183m version would be cool

Piranha 2: Flying Killers (1981)

Ovidio Assonitis sacked James Cameron a few weeks into shooting this gory Italian lensed pseudo-sequel, then filled the director's chair himself. I bet he's kicking himself now! With the humour of Dante gone, there's precious little left but a grisly Italian gorefest, with goofy winged fish. A Widescreen print would suit me fine (but the villain in me wouldn't mind a new Surround mix).

Raiders Of Atlantis (1983)

What a hoot! Even Ruggero Deodato took a crack at the post apocalypse genre, and spiced it up with some sci-fi trappings and some delightfully icky Maurizio Trani gore effects. Widescreen & uncut would suit this one down to the ground, hearing Guido & Maurizio De Angelis' score in surround would be the icing on the cake. No, really, I'm not kidding!

Road Games (1981)

Before he did "Psycho 2", Richard Franklin delivered this fine ambient piece of Hitchcockian suspense. Stacy Keach as a truck driver, Jamie Lee Curtis as a hitchhiker, and stuntman Grant Page as (maybe, maybe not) a serial killer. Vistas were striking, and the Australian outback has never been so remote, desolate & isolated. I'd kill to see this one in Panavision again. Maybe some one could track down Franklin's original ending…

Rosemary's Killer (1981)

I think this takes the accolade, alongside "The Burning", of being the goriest slasher movie ever made. This still puts the willies up me in parts, and although terribly cliched in this post "Scream" era, Savini's shocking effects still pack a punch. The mention of widescreen is becoming a bit tired, so I'll make this one as simple as it can be: the Uncut version or don't bother. Getting Savini or Joseph Zito to chalk up a commentary would be something special.


Salon Kitty (1976)

The "Nazi nasty" was something I never really got into, sorry. Tinto Brass' lurid retelling of the Salon Kitty story was another tale though. Maybe it was the inclusion of Teresa Ann Savoy, or maybe it was the lushly decadent design of the whole project. I'm still not sure, but I'd sure like to see the original 130m version on disc, letterboxed preferably. Don't even bother with the 116m "international" version, no one wants to see it…least of all me.

Santa Sangre (1989)

Claudio Argento & Alejandro Jodorowski…who would've figured, hey? A masterpiece of surreal horror that deserves not only a Widescreen & uncut disc release, butt also warrants the restoration of the original Dolby track. I could then die a happy man, albeit a happy man with one of his favourite horror films.


Scarecrows (1988)

You know, William Wesley's picture is as creepy as all get-out, and it's pretty damn gory too. As long as it's the Unrated version with the Ultra stereo track that gets released, some lucky distributor is going to make a lot of fans of this one very happy indeed. With any luck, I'll be of them…:)

The Sect (1991)

EC seem to have got "Stagefright" right, and Anchor Bay have announced "The Church", but where's my favourite killer bunny? Those freaky Stivaletti creations? That John Morghen cameo? Jamie's sister Kelly? That weird Donaggio score? Michele Soavi's full 116m cut? A creepy room shaking 5.1 surround remix? Has some one out there got the picture yet? Funny, neither have I…

She (1984)

Yeah, Israeli Avi Nesher's post-apocalypse stab was the most off the wall of the lot, but I think that's why I liked it the most. I don't think Sandahl Bergman had any idea what was going on, but then Nesher had me fooled on a couple of occasions too. High camp that I'd love to see in its original 104m print if you can, in Dolby too if that's not asking too much (I wanna hear Bastard in thunderous neighbour annoying stereo!). I have no interest in seeing the 95m print again though…

Sorceress (1980)

A great opportunity to release Corman's 82m theatrical print & Jack Hill's original 100m cut, if legal hurdles can be overcome. Oh come on, I grew up on these things! They were low budget, tacky as hell, and rife with rampant nudity. I'm most curious to see what Hill's original cut what like, and am probably the only person on the planet that is! Who needs Conan when you've got the Harris twins? Oh, and re-release "Deathstalker" while you're at it!

Spermula (1976)

Having only ever seen the international English dubbed print of this film (whose script seemed to have been penned by a couple of schoolboys over a few stick mags) I came to one finite conclusion. If any daring distributor ever sees fit to release this film on disc, then I have one message and one message alone for you. I want to see Charles Matton's original version (in French and subtitled preferably), or not at all. Okay? Is that a simple enough request? Good.

Star Crash (1979)

I first saw this on a double bill with "The Howling" back in 1981 and it's stuck in my memory ever since! Luigi Cozzi's "Star Wars" wannabe was as camp and garish as you'd expect of Italian sci-fi, but it was hokey fun. The obligatory Hammer reference is present with Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff's there pre "Bay Watch", and Joe Spinell pops up the year before "Maniac". I guess it was all that Harryhausen styled stop-motion animation that did it. To see it letterboxed and hear it in Dolby again would give me back a snatch of my (misspent) youth.

Tanya's Island (1981)

I doubt there's anyone out there bar myself who found Alfred Sole's oddball beauty & the beast tale strangely compelling. I guess 80 odd minutes of Vanity parading around an island paradise in her birthday suit was entertainment enough for me. It was sad to see the visuals truncated though, so once again, an uncut version at the very least. Rob Bottin's ape was quite an achievement for his day, but then so was Vanity…

Turkey Shoot (1981)

And there you have it, even Australia joined the post-apocalyptic cycle (after creating it with "Mad Max"). This was our one bonafide gore film, and Bob McCarron's FX were suitably grisly. Its stars (Steve Railsback, Olivia Hussey, Noel Ferrier, Carmen Duncan & Lynda Stoner) loathe its existence to this day. That's why I want to see it restored to its Original Panavision 2.35 ratio & remastered uncut! A commentary by director BrianTrenchard-Smith would be a hoot! (Providing he's not too embarrassed about this one) And surely there must be an FX gag reel, or some unseen footage lurking about in Antony I. Ginnane's vaults somewhere! Well, at least, I'd like to think so anyway…

Twins Of Evil (1971)

Read the "Vampire Lovers" entry then apply it this film and the one below, then try telling yourself that you wouldn't buy the disc on day of release. An Uncut print would be a starting point, letterboxed at original aspect ratio. Sadly no Warbeck or Cushing for commentaries…maybe John Hough might find time in his busy schedule…One can but hope.

Vampire Circus (1972)

Once again, uncut & letterboxed is as good a place as any to start. Maybe some enterprising chap could talk either Robert Young, John Moulder-Brown, Lynne Frederick or Dave Prowse into providing a commentary. The more Hammer we see on DVD, the better! That's my opinion and I'm standing by it!

The Vampire Lovers (1970)

Who doesn't want to see this Hammer classic uncut at the very least? Who'd appreciate it even more in a letterboxed format? And who'd get a great kick out of hearing an audio commentary by Ingrid Pitt? And lastly, who'd wax nostalgic as they keyed through a stills, lobby card & poster gallery, or get misty eyed over the original theatrical trailers? Yeah, me too…let's hope the wait is worth it.


Witchfinder General (1968)

Letterboxed, uncut & with Ferris' score intact is the ONLY way Michael Reeves' film should be presented on disc. Some one should dig up then Chief censor John Trevelyan for a commentary track in the absence of both Reeves and Price. Maybe former "Saint" Ian Ogilvy might be encouraged to share his experiences for the film's long standing enthusiasts? Maybe just seeing the film arrive on disc at long last might simply be reward enough…

Wolfen (1981)

Of Michael Wadleigh's metaphysical horror film there are but two requests I would dare make: Full Panavision Widescreen & a Dolby 5.1 remix. Actually, make that three things: A 16x9 transfer wouldn't hurt either…if only to show off Carl Fullerton's groundbreaking effects work. Werewolves and Indian spirits…

XTRO (1982)

Harry Bromley-Davenport's sci-fi horror yarn really isn't that bad. In fact, it's actually quite good, and features some wonderfully gruesome effects that are pretty jaw dropping, even now. I guess the best I could ask for is a letterboxed print with maybe a commentary from Bromley-Davenport (having read interviews with him, it would be nothing less than acidic). But you know what I'd really like to see? A seamless branching option that allows you to play the film with either its original theatrical ending, or its video ending. Now that would be unique.

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