Simon Caleb - Reviewer

‘The wonderful horrible life of Simon Caleb’ Part 1

Picture it, the year was 1974, the city - Plymouth, the place - my bed.

There I was fresh off the plane from Israel, we’d been in England no more than a week before I’d fallen off the roof of our outside toilet during one of my expeditions, mother terrified I’d seriously damaged my already warped brain, moved my bedding into the living room, so as to keep an eye on me full time.

Trekmares!!

Well one fateful night I stayed up to watch an episode of the Star Trek tv series, big mistake. As I dosed in & out of consciousness & the end credits began to roll, I witnessed THE most hideous nightmarish sight my little eyes had ever seen. It was a white ghost like alien face staring right at ME from the tv screen, as I howled in terror, mother ran to my rescue, but to no avail, I’d been irreparably damaged. Closing my tired eyes all I could see was that horrific face open mouthed with piercing eyes. Nightmares & disturbed sleep were my best friends for the following year, not until we moved to London, did the fear subside.

1975, London.

Still burnt by my run in with horror & curiously unable to forget or stop talking about the ‘high’ I experienced from the horrific image, mother decided to treat me to the movies.

Wow, little old me being treated (yes we were poor), excitedly I begged her to tell me what it was we were to see, ‘no, no’ she said, ‘it’s a secret’. Imagine my jaw dropping surprise as what unfolded on the largest screen I’d ever seen (The then single gigantic screen Odeon Marble Arch) was "The Seventh Golden Voyage of Sinbad".

That was it, I was hooked on the fantastic & strange, from then on I wanted to slay all & sundry with my Kali like multi armed swords.

Unable to visit the cinema regularly, I managed to talk my neighbours into saving their old newspapers & started cutting out & collecting the b&w movie ads, boy did I amass a collection of scrap books full of horror & fantasy, the earliest one I remember was the striking ad for "Death Race 2000", which lead to a leaning toward the more horrific & demented.

After my initial taste of Star Trek, It was down hill from then on, far too much talking & not enough horror, ‘American Nightmares’ & ‘Ronald Dalh’s Tales of the Unexpected’ were more to my liking.

And that my friends was the start of my voyage into the darker side of movies!

Simon Caleb

You can contact Simon by clicking here.

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