Troma's Edge TV show

In a moment of blind genius (or sheer stupidity), a Commissioning buyer at Channel Four television decided what the station needed was to get Lloyd Kaufman and his loyal band of Troma Citizens to make a TV show for all the Friday night late night TV viewers delectation. Now, Friday late night TV here normally means there's two categorys of viewers - firstly, the beer soaked, dope smoking homebodie genre fans (hey ! you mean us !) and the casual viewer which tends to be the loser that's swaggered home on their own from the pub searching the TV for some late night titalation (well ok, a sly wank!).

So, being the beer soaked genre buffs that we are, we here at SGM we got the beers out of the fridge ready to check out the first edition of 'Troma's Edge' TV show, and boy, we were not disapointed.

The show opened with Troma main man Lloyd Kaufman (while vomiting green bile) declaring that although Troma was familiar for it's monsters, boobies and low brow humour it was now time for them to take a more mature and serious spin on things. Cue the regulation dancing Tromettes and sliding across Lloyd's desk comes crazy-eyed Steve declaring 'Hey Lloyd, light my fart', which Lloyd of course happily obliges with the words "Hold your ass still!" Bang, and the show begins !!

Thirty minutes of 100% pure Troma fun, presented by the beautiful Bullimia and Trent Haaga who promise us 'social commentary' and 'intellectual stimulation'. Yeah right - more like laughs, gore and lovely ladies which really is what the doctor ordered !

Lloyd pops up with Killer Condom Man at the Cannes Film Festival with an amusing spoof interview with 'Sizzle Beach USA'/'Dances with Wolves' star Kevin Costner who after carrying Lloyd about on his back it's declared 'once a member of the Troma team, always a member of the Troma team'. Fine words that Costner should remember when he's looking for work in the future !

Next up, one of Troma's infamous Public Service Announcements with little Billy and his Uncle Toxie who bring us the the moral tale of the perils of hamster ownership which declares "Hamsters ! Don't eat your babies - it fucks kids up !" (You better believe it !) Kabukiman then appears with a very interesting look inside the Troma Wardrobe, I won't go into what this involves but can say that a warning sign appears declaring "Gentlemen - Start your wanking!" and I'm sure across the country those aforementioned lonely late night diddlers were doing just that !

Chad Ferrin, director of 'The Unspeakable' pops up next for an interview with Kabukiman where we learn of his vegan lifestyle and his catholic school upbringing (which seems to be the inspiration for his bloody gorefest 'The Unspeakable' which we're looking forward to checking out here at SGM!) 'Hollywood dick' Scott then appears and pisses off director Ferrin with talk of meat eating, and Ferrin promptly tears off his arm and attacks him ! A nice touch which had us all laughing ourselves stupid !

It's behind the scenes of Troma next, with Lloyd explaining how to do your own 'head crushing scene' ala 'The Toxic Avenger' This gives the show the opportunity to show the infamous scenes from the first Toxie film that where removed by the censors in the UK, nice one! On the subject of head-crushing, Lloyd (tongue in cheek) amusingly notes that although Troma normally 'abhor that kind of behaviour' head-crushing is actually very inexpensive, and that they could have used real kids for the head crushing but he would have had to use all his 'cigarette money on his bitch in prison'. Laugh, we almost wet ourselves !

There's a bizarre take on the street interview scenario next with 'Do you have a bleeding eye?' where people on the street are asked just that. Among the (ahem) unsuspecting punters are a bewildered Japansese TV crew (who don't seem to know what the hell's going on), a poor girl that proudly announces that she has in fact got rectal bleeding (ouch!) and Lloyd's partner in crime Michael Herz (complete with hilarious dubbed flatulence) appears stating that the scariest thing he's ever seen is in fact 'Lloyd on the toilet !'

'Freak of the Week' follows with the dubiously named Count Smokula and his lovely assistant Shelley Michelle. For our entertainment, the Count skewers his arms with metal rods and finishes with one right through his chin and out his mouth (double ouch !!) And before any of the casual viewing wankers start to droop, we're treated to some three way fun with another selection of Tromette lovelys doing some gratuitiously sexy dancing that would have any red blooded male (or female for that matter) reaching for the record button on their VCR's. There's something about sexy women dancing around covered in blood that really does the trick!

And as the show slides to a close, the lovely Bullimia tells us to 'clap our tits' to an amazing little music track by some (space helmet adorned) absolute nutter called Bob who entertains us with a track called 'I want your shit on my leg', whilst Lloyd shows us his hysterical Troma disco moves. By this point the tears of laughter where rolling down our faces - what a way to finish !

So, that was our lot for the debut edition of 'Troma's Edge TV' and we had a bloody good time viewing it. The show really did surpass our expectations here at SGM, a great blend of big belly laughs, gorgeous ladies and gore - what more could you ask for ! Lloyd Kaufman shows us once again what a true genius the guy is, along with the rest of the hard working gang at Tromaville they deliver some great fun viewing that even the most po-faced of genre buffs can't deny is a thoroughly enjoyable guilty pleasure. So, do yourself a favour and take a break from 'anal'ysing the inner meanings of your genre favourites, get some beers in and check out 'Tromas Edge TV' - you wont regret it !!

'Troma's Edge TV' is currently showing on Channel 4 Television on late on Friday nights, check the listings guide for exact screening times. Special thanks to Lloyd Kaufman, Doug Sakmann and the Troma Team for their assistance.