THIRST

Bryan (Tygh Runyan) is a selfish dipstick who treats his beautiful girlfriend Noelle (Lacey Chabert - looking at times like a more curvy Jennifer Love Hewitt) poorly.

Together they join Bryan's arrogant brother Tyson (Brandon Quinn) on a photo shoot in the desert. He's a would-be fashion photographer and has been hooked up with sexy blonde Atheria (Mercedes McNab) for the past month, hoping she'll pose for some stills that he can sell. Or, at the very least, sleep with him.

No-one seems to notice that Noelle is tired, grouchy and not joining in with the alcoholic drinks as the film opens. Mind you, the sight of her in a skimpy bikini is enough to drive anyone to distraction.

The foursome set off in their 4x4 for an unchartered piece of Canadian desert called Devil's Children. They even take heed of a sign warning that the little roadside store they are about to pass is the last water-stop for a remarkable 188 miles.

When they arrive at their forsaken location, Tyson wastes no time in getting cute-but-dumb Atheria up on the rocks for some glamorous shots beneath an unforgiving sun. Bryan even pitches in by holding the bounce board, barely noticing as Noelle wanders away to spend a quiet moment alone.

Sweltering in the heat and already aware that the water bottles they stocked up on are starting to dwindle, the group return to the 4x4 and drive onward so Tyson can take a few more photographs before indulging Noelle's request to take them all home.

Alas, the appearance of a wolf in their path causes Tyson to run the 4x4 off the beaten track and into a ravine. The crash leaves Atheria concussed and the others worried about being found, miles from civilisation. One consolation is the convenient fact that Noelle is possibly the most studious trainee doctor you're ever likely to meet.

The next few days and nights are spent trying to survive against severe conditions. Worryingly, wolves howl in the night. Even more disconcerting is the inescapable sun during the daytimes, and the rapidly diminishing water supplies. So much so that Bryan follows Noelle's lead and keeps a stash of his own piss in a bottle, just for emergencies. Much to Tyson's disgust.

But even he resorts to desperate measures as time drags on and the group become even more parched. Tempers fray, hallucinations set in and even death rears its ugly head. It seems like the perfect setting, then, for Noelle to announce that she's pregnant. Which leads to one of the most badly acted character arcs in recent memory as Bryan grows up quickly and resolves to find a way out of their predicament.

But ... can he do that?

I would wager that when director Jeffery Lando was handed Joel Newman and Kurt Volkan's screenplay, he saw no further than the opportunity to make a good-looking film in the desert. Also credited as the film's director of photography, Lando ensures that each scene is attractive and sun-kissed. THIRST, as a result, looks very slick.

Performances are generally decent, with only Runyan letting the side down with some atrocious melodramatics that belong in a daytime soap. McNab became more impressive as Atheria's pain deepened, while Chabert is efficient but a little difficult to warm to. Having said that, her cleavage is the real star of the show.

The biggest flaw is the script, which doesn't really offer much character development or suspense. Events never escalate and nothing is learned along the way, save for Noelle's revelation that she's expecting (she reveals this verbally about 20 minutes into the film; the script reveals it ham-fistedly within the opening 2 minutes). It could be argued that Bryan "finds himself" but, really, it's doubtful whether Runyan could find his way to an amateur dramatics class.

Worth sticking around for if you're looking for undemanding middle-of-the-road drama, THIRST takes a simple idea on a low budget and goes ... well, not very far with it. But it's watchable enough, especially when you consider that Chabert's cleavage is on show throughout.

One thing though: how little must the makers of this film know about the horror genre? I mean, are they not aware of the numerous genre flicks already baring this title ...?

First Look Studios have presented the film uncut for its debut DVD release. The anamorphic 1.78:1 transfer is a well-rendered, smooth and colourful one. Day scenes are sharp and exhibit a healthy amount of depth, while night scenes hold up well. The film looks to have been shot on HD.

English audio is available in 2.0 and 5.1 mixes. I couldn't distinguish much difference between the two, but they were both decent in terms of clean and clear dialogue playback. Optional subtitles are available in Spanish, and English for the hard of hearing.

An animated main menu page leads to a static scene-selection menu offering 12 chapters.

The only film-related extra is a 100-second trailer.

The disc also contains trailers for SUICIDE GIRLS MUST DIE!, BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF NEW ORLEANS, ICE TWISTERS and ASSASSIN NEXT DOOR.

THIRST isn't a terrible film. It has a couple of scenes (a spot of DIY brain surgery; the drinking of blood from a snake) that are effectively disorientating. I suppose it also deserves kudos for eschewing the usual route of manic bodycount territory in its second half. But, at the same time, the low-key approach does the film few favours on a dramatic level and by the time you've reached the finishing line it's difficult to feel anything but apathy.

Less of an oasis in the desert, then, THIRST is more a small puddle of jism on a crowded brothel's floor.

Review by Stu Willis