THANKSKILLING

Look up Jordan Downey’s 2009 film THANSKILLING on the Internet Movie Database and you’ll find a synopsis of no more than ten words: "A homicidal turkey axes off college kids during Thanksgiving break".

Well, what more do you expect from a film that cost $3,500 to shoot and carries the amazing tagline: "Gobble Gobble Motherfucker!"?

A brief prologue opens the film in 1621, moments after the first ever Thanksgiving celebrations are over. An unfortunate wench (Wanda Lust) is tied to a tree in the middle of the woods, her ample breasts exposed. The scene ends with a ravenous, man-size turkey attacking her, hollering out the immortal line "Nice tits, bitch".

From this point in, you know exactly what to expect.

Events quickly fast-forward to the present day, and we meet five friends leaving High School on the last day of term. They’re headed by jock Johnny (Lance Predmore), who offers to drive them all home in his jeep.

Along the way, the group – completed by wisecracking slob Billy (Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson), bespectacled nerd Darren (Ryan E Francis), promiscuous Ali (Natasha Cordova) and good girl Kristen (Lindsey Anderson) – decide to take a detour on the way to Kirsten’s sheriff dad’s (Chuck Lamb) house, and camp in the woods with beers. Darren hopes that he will finally lose his virginity in the process.

But Darren’s mood changes when he realises where they are: the remote town of Crawsberg. He remembers a legend surrounding the town, about a dishonoured Native Indian who placed a curse on the place centuries ago – resulting in each subsequent Thanksgiving celebration being spoilt by a killer turkey.

The group initially laugh this claim off. Unbeknownst to them, a dog nearby has accidentally resurrected the turkey by pissing on its grave. Uh-oh.

After surviving a night in the sticks with little incident, the kids finally get to their respective homes, oblivious to the fact that the resurrected gobbler is heading their way with murder in mind.

Can reclusive farmer Oscar (General Bastard – probably a pseudonym), mourning the loss of his dog and seemingly the only person aware of the turkey’s existence, stop the killing before it begins?

What do you think?

Lines such as "You were right, Darren, your story is true – there IS an evil turkey on the loose!" give a fair indication of where Downey’s humour is aiming, pointing THANKSKILLING squarely in the direction of the Troma crowd. To this end, his film stays true to their vibe with plenty of tasteless jokes (turds floating in coffee pots; women raped by fowl) and entertainingly crappy gore scenes.

The rubber turkey itself talks and gets some of the best one-liners, adding to the madness. Of the human cast, Francis shines the brightest with a zealous comedy turn that shifts midway through into full-on manic fever. The girls are cute and any nudity is entirely gratuitous. I’m sure you’d gathered by now that it would be.

Cheap, desperate to be perceived as dumb, and wallowing in its own no-budget limitations, THANKSKILLING is also pretty smart in the screenplay stakes and unrelentingly brisk. A lot of the camerawork is surprisingly inventive and the gore FX, as primitive as they are, work in a crude manner.

For all that Downey’s film is self-consciously shit, it’s actually also a lot of fun. Somehow, even the scene where the turkey successfully disguises itself as Kristen’s dad works. It shouldn’t, but it does.

This region-free disc from MVD Visual is a fairly rudimentary one.

THANKSKILLING is at least presented uncut, and in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio. The image is enhanced for 16x9 television sets. Shot on HD video over the course of 11 days in August 2007, the film is undeniably cheap in look and feel – despite some stylish opening titles – and the transfer can’t escape this. This being said, there is still a fair amount of colour and detail on offer. Some softness and occasionally overly dark scenes may distress those looking for something on a par with the visuals of the last Bond film, though. Blacks don’t hold up well, but other than that this offers a fair playback.

English 2.0 audio is decent throughout.

The static main menu page is a strictly no-frills affair, as is the static scene-selection menu which allows access to the film via 16 chapters.

The only extras (dubbed ‘fowl material’) on the disc are as follows:

An audio commentary track from director Downey and his co-writer/co-producer Kevin Stewart. This is a good, honest track, offering a wealth of candid information and lots of unassuming energy throughout. Our hosts are likeable types and well aware of the limitations of being "two 21-year-olds with three grand and a little camera". They’re even thoughtful enough to recommend porn star Lust’s ‘other’ work to any interested parties...

Next are 5 minutes of blooper footage. This ranges from corpsing and actors missing their cues, to what effectively are alternate takes. It’s throwaway stuff, in fairness.

From there we get a 66-second gallery of artwork related to the film, as drawn by its fans. Set to a comedy song, this is the type of gallery that would’ve made Tony Hart despair. It’s funny, though.

Finally we’re treated to a 3-minute punk track from The Lurking Terror. It’s up-tempo and suitably raucous, sounding not entirely unlike The Dayglo Abortions. This is an audio clip which plays over a still of the band.

A perfect companion piece to similarly themed films such as POULTRYGEIST: NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN DEAD, ZOMBEAK and BLOOD FREAK, THANSKILLING is fun and fast-paced, with some good killings and a pretty hilarious monster at its core. At only 66 minutes in length, the joke doesn’t outstay its welcome. Whether it stands up to repeated viewings remains to be seen, but THANKSKILLING comes recommended as a film to watch when drunk with mates.

Review by Stuart Willis