THE SEXPERTS

(a.k.a. THE SEXPERTS: TOUCHED BY TEMPTATION)

The onscreen title here is THE SEXPERTS: TOUCHED BY TEMPTATION.

THE SEXPERTS set's it's tone immediately, with soft black-and-white photography, a light jazzy score and an overly sincere male narrator trying to persuade us that what we are about to see is based on "a true story".

The narrator introduces us to three men sat round a desk in a small office. We're told they are the creative forces behind an upcoming film - it's director, producer and writer. As they discuss their latest project, they move on to the subject of casting, and this is where we meet the film-within-a-film's characters.

Liz (Lana Lynn) is a precocious young filly who has recently moved to New York in the hope of making it on Broadway. In order to do so, the self-confessed nymphomaniac is prepared to "make it" with whomever she needs to in the meantime.

Connie Mason (Rusty Allen) is a slightly more wholesome New Yorker who already has a foot in the industry's door.

Barry (Ken Naarden) and Baxter (Anthony Ford) are the two token hunks, positioned in the filmmakers' script as meat for the two heroines to cavort with.

And Doug (John Lyon) is the director of the stage production that Liz and Connie will ultimately set their hearts on appearing in. Which is good news for Doug, as we're told he has an eye for the ladies …

Once we've met the characters (and the actors portraying them - although bear in mind this essentially unravels as a film-within-a-film, or a film about the making of a fictional film, so it's the characters we're interested in … confusing!), that annoying narrator nudges us along: "And so, on with the story …".

Liz arrives at New York and moves in with Connie, a cute young actress who is looking for a roommate to share her attractive apartment. The two hit it off instantly as Connie helps her new tenant unpack and even chats comfortably with her as Liz loosens up in a foam-filled bathtub.

Later that day, Connie goes off to work, which leaves Liz free to take a stroll outside and get accustomed to her surroundings. Meanwhile, the director, producer and writer discuss their characters round their desk, deliberating over what they'd like to see in their film. And what they envisage, we get to see - for instance, at one point we see Connie powdering her nose in front of her bathroom mirror. Fully clothed. When the writer suggests that maybe she should be naked … a quick jump-cut immediately presents Connie going about her nose-powdering, sans attire!

But, as the increasingly irritating narrator points out, the character of Liz begins to fascinate the filmmakers more. And the plot-within-a-plot becomes more concerned with her loose morals, and deep ambitions. Which takes us through plenty of tame scenes of flirting, petting and casting sessions with the amusingly smug Doug.

In truth, not much of interest happens during THE SEXPERTS' meagre 71-minute running time. The second half of the film attempts to wake its audience up on three occasions with brief inserts of colour film. But these are just as tame (and not as aesthetically pleasing) as the rest of the black-and-white "skin" footage that occasionally pops up throughout the wafer-thin plot. Breasts are exposed at regular intervals - look out for Audrey Campbell of Madame Olga fame, big knickers are in abundance too (no thongs in this 1965 production, alas) … but nothing else.

But the lack of flesh is not THE SEXPERTS' greatest problem (although with a title like that, it would have been fair to expect a little more titillation). Rather, the dialogue ranges between the flat and the risible, the narrator is offensively distracting - yes, he continues throughout the ENTIRE film - and the direction is dreary and uninspired, meaning the finished article seems much longer than it actually is. There's no sense of fun in this production, which is usually what lifts most films of this ilk out of total monotony. Not in this case.

The film is presented uncut in it's original 1.33:1 aspect ratio, with a new digital transfer struck from an original negative (that's what it says on the back cover). Images are generally good: the picture is quite sharp once the opening credits are out of the way, offering a solid and bright playback. Speckling is minor.

The English mono audio track comes across loud and clear, and is free from hissing or dropout.

Although there is no scene-selection menu, you can use your remote control handset to navigate through the main feature by way of 10 chapters.

Extras are spread across 2 discs.

Disc 1 treats us to 10 additional minutes of colour footage from THE SEXPERTS' outtakes. These are 5 loops - "in Eastmancolor"! - which offer more of the same: vivid hued lighting, old-fashioned undergarments and floppy boobs. Great, if you like that sort of thing.

3 rare TV spots follow, showing Campbell in a more domestic role as she sells us the benefits of floor wax and waterproofing. These are presented in grainy black-and-white, and are longer than advertisements are these days. The shortest of the 3 clocks in at just over a minute in length.

Finally, disc 1 offers trailers for HIDEOUT IN THE SUN, THE SEXPERTS, THE SEXPLOITERS, THE FLESH MERCHANT, CURIOUSLY OBSESSIVE PEEPSHOW, NAUGHTY NUDES OF '64 and NAUGHTY NUDES OF THE 1960's.

Disc 2 offers us 11 rare loops, all originating from 1965.

These 11 loops can be watched individually via a static title-selection menu, or by employing the trusty "Play All" option on the animated main menu screen.

Each loop is around 10 minutes in length (114 minutes in total), and is presented in black-and-white. Their titles are great - including the likes of MILKY THIGHS BEDROOM EYES, TINA'S TASTY TEASE and the fantastic-sounding GERTIE'S GLISTENING GARTER - but in reality these are tame striptease acts that are so tedious they wouldn't even get a rapist in the mood.

It's worth noting that the cover artwork for the DVD differs from the slipcase cover above (the DVD cover artwork is a reproduction of the original theatrical poster art for the film, and looks great). Also, there's a canny 8-page booklet with black-and-white photographs accompanied by decent liner notes from Michael J Bowen and 42nd Street Pete.

As ever, it's impossible to knock Retro-Seduction for the effort they have put into their release. It's just a shame that the main feature and the accompanying loops aren't as satisfying.

Review by Stu Willis