2069: A Sexy Odyssey

Retro Seduction Cinema have had me drooling since checking out some of their trailer reels of their much anticipated forthcoming line, so I was more than surprised when the unannounced release of '2069: A Sexy Odyssey' arrived here at SGM Towers!

Originally released in West Germany back in 1974 as '5 Madchen blasen zum Angriff', the film merrily takes us back to a time in Euro cinema when even porn had a sense of innocence and fun that no longer exists in our modern and stifled politically correct climate.

Basically, the film concerns some foxy buxom Venusian ladies (sans glittery silver leotards) who come to Earth in order to seek out some men. You see they need the men folks sperm to help save their all-female population from dwindling. Commander Sex Sex Sex and her team are on a mission to 'rub the mens funny bones' and obtain their precious fluids and that they do in amusing style! Landing on the outskirts of a small village near some ski slopes, the lovely ladies waste no time in getting down to business even though they don't quite grasp exactly what the Earth men are really all about. The village men are obviously soon in their element, although they too are somewhat confused as to who our needy Venusians are and mistake them for a team of Olympic French skiers!? Needless to say, lots of chuckles and saucy fun are the order of the day in this lighthearted sexy romp that truly is a rib tickling retro experience!

As I mentioned, it is the innocent aplomb in which the film is delivered that give the film that refreshing touch. Very much akin to the bawdy humour of the late Benny Hill TV show, '2069: A Sexy Odyssey' is full of great double entendre and enough saucy antics that even Benny would be tittering in his grave! For example, one scene sees a group of the local men straying back to the ladies space craft only to have huge suction pumps attached to their genitalia so the ladies can suck a gallon of sperm from each of them. 'Won't take long' quips one old man, 'I prefer the traditional method' smirks another - cheesy good fun! Whilst there is nothing of a hard core nature in the film either there is still plenty of nudity and soft core romping that will please those of you who have a fetish for naked 1970's pleasures! And for action freaks there's some great cornball stunts aplenty (on motorbikes, skis and a bierkellar brawl finale!) for no apparent reason adding to the tacky fun nature of the film as a whole! And to add that final touch of pizzazz, there's some truly entertaining bad special effects (of the plastic saucer on a string nature) that will bring B movie fans much joy!

The direction, script and cast performances throughout are exactly what you would expect for this period/style of movie (well you can imagine) and the dubbing/repackaging of the title (obviously as a much later saucy cash-in of the Star Wars/2001 movies) rounds things off nicely for the full exploitation package that it is.

The disc from Retro Seduction Cinema is a quite impressive one too. I would never have imagined that such a fun obscure title would be unearthed for a DVD release but yet here it is! The print is particularly impressive - colourful, sharp and detailed with little (if anything) to fault. The audio likewise is clear throughout with no distortion or defect. And to add to the fun there's the inclusion of the films US release trailer which pushes the (non existent) Star Wars link (but is also full of spoilers so don't watch until after you've checked out the main attraction).

But that's not all that's on show here as they have welcomingly added the short new film 'The Seduction of Cyber Jane', directed by underground renegade film maker William Hellfire (of Factory 2000 fame) and starring their flagship babe Misty Mundae. You'll find more on this lovely lady and her work over at our review of 'Mummy Raider' but meanwhile 'Cyber Jane' basically involves a horny young woman spying on Misty and a friend getting down to some lesbo hi-jinx. The atmosphere here (unlike '2069: A Sexy Odyssey') is of a more intense sensual nature and is sure to get many of our readers quite hot under the collar (and no doubt relieving themselves in a similar nature to the action onscreen!)

Rounding things off on the disc are a great selection of Retro Seduction trailers that just make me want to investigate the rest of this line even more. There's also a trailer for Misty Mundae's 'Mummy Raider' which although said lady is very fine, the trailer just has the poor girl rolling around sans Lara Croft, albeit without her top on (but as I say, more of this in our review of that title!)

'2069: A Sexy Odyssey' is a cracking slice of bawdy fun and a well-presented package from the good folk at Retro Seduction Cinema. get some beers in and a nods as good as a wink (if you know what I mean!?) Check it out!

Review by Alan Simpson

'2069: A Sexy Odyssey' can be ordered direct from Alternative Cinema by clicking here.