GRINDHOUSE TRIPLE FEATURE: SEX MAD FAMILY!

GRINDHOUSE TRIPLE FEATURE: SEX MAD FAMILY!

I love After Hours Cinema. I’m not sure what they smoke at their headquarters – they do, after all, advertise this latest release on its back cover as "3 films of incestuous full-on family fuck affairs for the sick bastard that’s always wanted to ball his sister" – but I love them regardless. No-one else digs so deep into the obscure archives of 70s filth; no-one else looks at the line that most won’t cross and thinks ‘fuck it, let’s run so far over this line that you can no longer see it’.

Welcome, then, to a triple feature of 70s hardcore flicks devoted to the alleged joys of inbreeding.

SEX MAD FAMILY kicks off affairs, with a randy father informing his ugly teenage daughter (I’m not being cruel: she has a pasty complexion, unnaturally thick black eyebrows and looks to be at least 28) that he’s off out for the night to attend a PTA meeting.

This seems to be the catalyst for her to enjoy a lesbo session with her equally hirsute sister, and for some pipe-smoking college professor to pop round and spunk all over their mother’s face (in a scene so badly framed that we miss most of the fun, although his line of dialogue – "I am commencing ejaculation" – does amuse).

The fucking continues as a young male neighbour arrives to fuck the two sisters, and on it goes until this 44-minute oddity peters out. We also get tit-wanks, female masturbation, a mother with corned beef thighs, lots of sucking and some fairly impressively sized money shots in this otherwise poverty-stricken absurdity.

I don’t know who performed the soundtrack, but it sounds like Butthole Surfers at their most hippyish. Which is fine by me.

"This is fucked, it really is", the father of the family weakly protests as his two daughters jump his bones. Fucking hell, this stuff really is wrong. But, worryingly perhaps, it’s funny too. They’re not REALLY related, you know ...

Next up is CURIOUS WOMEN. This one is longer (63 minutes) and starts off with slightly more of a plot, before quickly dispensing with that to become yet another fuck fest.

It’s distinguished by an attractive young blonde (first seen bathing and then fucking her female cousin in a hotel room), and later trysts with legends Harry Reems (DEEP THROAT) and Jamie Gillis (WATERPOWER).

Expect more of what was served up in the first feature: spotty bottoms, overly pink penises and half-hearted blowjobs in this unfathomably entertaining throwback to the age of sweat-smelling smut.

COUSIN PAULINE, the third feature, opens with a montage of curiously non-erotic sex footage. We soon discover the titular character is a druggie. She’s being abused by her male cousin – not that she complains at all.

This one is a bit faceless, hampered by a muddy soundtrack and faded print. I could mention the Parisian locations but they’re redundant. Still, there are those who may get their kicks from this 50-minute offering ...

Go for it though; it’s amiable enough, just not as much fun as its two predecessors. Having said that, it probably boasts the most wall-to-wall hardcore content in this entire set. It’s just a shame that most of it is ugly ...

Each of these three films is presented in its original 1.33:1 aspect ratio, in a "brand new telecine from the original film elements". That’ll be poorly preserved 16mm from the looks of things, not that it matters.

If any genre suits a healthy amount of grain, vertical lines and specks, it’s obscure 1970s porno! Consequently, these films look entirely appropriate in their scuzzy, fucked up state. Colours and detail are just fine actually. WOMEN looks the most battered, but the viewer’s enjoyment isn’t hampered any.

Likewise, the English mono audio track offered in each film is good, aside from those grumblings regarding PAULINE.

The disc opens with a window boxed animated main menu page. From there, we get access to each film individually as well as the option to play all three in succession as part of the now-familiar "Grind It!" Play All function.

There are no scene-selection menus but each film has its own remote controlled chapters (FAMILY has 10; WOMEN has 14; PAULINE has 11).

The only extras on this region free disc are trailers for SLAVE OF PLEASURE, A NIGHT AT THE VENUS, RENE BOND’S SLEAZY 70’S, HOW TO MAKE A SEX MOVIE, DIRTY DETECTIVE and HILLBILLY SEX CLAN.

Inside the packaging you’ll also find a token allowing you access to 30 minutes of Seduction Cinema smut online for free. I can’t vouch for the site footage, but I did appreciate the picture on the token, which included an up-to-date shot of the beautiful Julian Wells in all her glory. I am a fan, Julian.

Oh, After Hours Cinema, how I’ve missed you. Genuinely! It’s good to have you back, and as politically incorrect as ever.

Review by Stuart Willis


 
Released by After Hours Cinema
Region 1 - NTSC
Not Rated
Extras :
see main review
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