PRIVATE

(A.k.a. FALLO!; DO IT; FACA ISTO!; FALO!; HACELO!)

The onscreen title is FALLO! (which translates as "Oops!"), signalling that this version of Tinto Brass' 2003 film has been sourced from the uncut Italian master.

Similar to his earlier PO BOX TINTO BRASS, PRIVATE sees the nutty Italian indulging in a portmanteau of sexy shorts. Six to be exact, each of which this time around purport to detail the pursuit in empowered modern women to find true joy in sex.

It all starts off, following on from frivolous opening titles music that sounds like a cross between something from a Tom & Jerry cartoon and the camp big band crap that you imagine would open night of cabaret in Blackpool Tower, with the highly erotic "Alibi".

This opens with married couple Gianni (Massimiliano Caroletti) and Cinzia (Sara Cosmi) waking in their hotel bed, holidaying in Casablanca to celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary. He's horny - evidenced by the stiffy he's sporting - but she is too tired to perform. She asks him to touch her while she sleeps. He has other ideas: he pleasures her with an electric toothbrush while insisting she recants a tale of how her gynaecologist once seduced her.

In the throes of passion, it becomes clear that Cinzia wants "a Moroccan guy in the ass". So Gianni, realising that the seventh year of any relationship is always the toughest to survive, arranges for their hotel barman - the very Moroccan Ali (William De Vito) - to visit their room and complete a threesome with them.

Aah, the things we men will do for love.

Colourful, imbued with soft focus in the flashback sequence and a cheeky sense of humour in the voyeuristic sex scenes elsewhere, "Alibi" is a most enjoyable if ludicrous offering that I unashamedly admit to watching twice. The performances are fun, Cosmi is gorgeous (Brass has a brilliantly consistent track record for unearthing the best female rears in the business) and although the nookie is never quite hardcore, there should be enough here to titillate most tastes.

"Double Trouble" is next.

Lady in red Erika (Federica Tommasi) wants the opportunity to host a new TV show and so comes on to producer Luigi (Andrea Nobili) in his office. Within minutes she's sucking his cock ... but will she get the job? Meanwhile, her husband Bruno (Max Parodi) is busy keeping friend Luigi's wife Stefania (Silvia Rossi) occupied - first on the tennis courts, and then in the showers. Another steamy blowjob ensues.

As with "Alibi", this is filled with beautiful colours and impressively accomplished cinematography (courtesy of Federico Del Zoppo) confirming Brass' position as the most stylish purveyor of modern-day smut.

The cast are attractive and highly proficient, the script is slightly less playful than its predecessor but the punchline is gently wry. The sex becomes kinkier here (Bruno asks Stefania to stick a finger in his bottom; Luigi tells Erika to "pull out the microphone" when requesting oral sex) and appears more authentic than in the first tale.

It's marvellous how sexual Brass' women are, from the moment you first see them smouldering across the screen. And it's even better how quickly they tend to lose their clothes.

In "Two Hearts And A Hut", the action is located to a bygone era where housemaid Katarina (Raffaella Ponzo) dresses in a preposterous outfit that pushes her boobs together and exposes her nipples (no complaints here) and sucks her chef boyfriend's cock in fields.

In-between, she lets a masochistic Bovarian couple have their wicked way with her, taking their perverted punishments in return for big money - which she hopes will finance the boarding house she aims to buy with her beau.

Classical music and soft photography keep it all light, in line with the frequent giggles of the female members of the cast. But there are darker undertones to this vignette, and it's hard not to feel a faint sense of unease at the exploitation element of it.

That said, don't look too deep into it and you'll be happy enough with more of the same pleasing visuals and another fine arse in Ponzo.

"Jolly Bangs" finds married couple Hugo (Daniele Ferrari) and Raffaella (Angela Ferlaino) sunning themselves on a beach in Malaga. After a minor row over Raffaella's suspected infidelities, she is encouraged to share her sexual fantasies with Hugo.

More stunning colour schemes and sumptuous photography follow, accompanied by spirited comic performances that extend to a fair bit of labia exposure and the odd bit of oral sex.

Warning: Ferlaino's spotty backside may come as a shock to viewers, following on from the stunners that have preceded it. "Jolly Bangs" is the weakest of the six stories on offer.

The fifth yarn is "Evil To Him Who Thinks Evil". Great title.

This concerns the plight of photographer Franco (Riccardo Marino), who is understandably turned on to the max by his hot girlfriend Anna (Maruska Albertazzi). He's particularly enamoured by - you guessed it - her bum, and likes nothing more than to take snaps of her bent over on all fours.

Actually there is one thing he likes even better. He wants to shoot his load up there. But Anna won't have it ... at least, she says, not until they're married. In the meantime she tries to pacify him with her vagina. "I ask for paradise, you give me purgatory" he moans, arguing that anal sex is the "perfect contraceptive". Quite.

It all gets even more quirky when they meet another couple who shared a very similar predicament.

Funny, energetic and shallow: "Evil" is trite but entertaining; as with all the other stories here, the constant reflective babbling of the love-makers offers no insight whatsoever into the nature of sex's pleasures. But, who cares?

The final segment is entitled "Call Me Pig I Like It". Oskar (Roberto Giulianelli) likes to fuck his wife Rosetta (Federica Palmer) in their plush London penthouse suite, but is aware that their bonking is being witnessed by a neighbouring voyeur (a cameo for Brass).

Oskar tries to hide this detail from the truly sexy Rosetta, for fear that it will turn her off their lovemaking. But ... is she more aware than he realises?

More imaginative camerawork, agreeably game acting and colourful compositions (think Pedro Almodovar on a lower budget) distinguish this one. Along with plenty more gratuitous minge-poking and arse ogling. Oh, and I feel the terrible disco track playing during the amusing lesbian-tryst-in-a-changing-room scene deserves a special mention too.

What all of these vignettes mean, either individually or as a collective, is questionable. There is a lot of dialogue (despite the film's brisk pace) and most of it purports to be mulling over the nature of sex and its mechanics. But nothing new is learned.

However, as mentioned earlier, it doesn't really matter. The tone is set early with the comical score and fast-moving, vibrant visual style of the film. This is one for the "wank now, think later (or, preferably, not at all)" brigade. You like female arses but like a modicum of artistic veneer in the film to lend it a degree of superficial "worth"? This is the film for you.

Sex scenes tend to be consensually veering towards the rough, and while anal/vaginal penetration or money shots are never shown, you do get quite a lot of open, exposed pussies and more than your fair share of erect penises. Not all of which are genuine ...

The film looks great in Cult Epics' uncut, uncensored transfer. Presented in anamorphic 1.85:1 this 87-minute director's cut boasts strong lively colours (a must for this film) and solid blacks, along with sharp images throughout and lifelike flesh tones.

The Italian 2.0 audio is also without complaint. Optional English subtitles come in a nice strong yellow print, and are excellent.

A static main menu page leads into a static scene-selection menu allowing access to PRIVATE via 6 chapters (or "segments").

Extras begins with a very good 18-minute Making Of featurette. This offers a healthy amount of involving behind-the-scenes footage, illustrating the amiable nature of the shoot and the fun that can be had with prosthetic cocks and fake spunk. Cigar-puffing Brass is a chirpy fellow, even if he does look like a fully paid-up member of the Mafia.

Trailers for THE KEY, MIRANDA, ALL LADIES DO IT, CHEEKY! and FRIVOLOUS LOLA play out alongside one for PRIVATE.

Two photo galleries round things off. The first is 50 stills of the soft-core variety. The second is billed as being a "XXX Rated" photo gallery. This offers 14 snaps which between them contain images of hard-ons, fellatio, spread-open cunt-flaps and the like.

Supremely well shot, benefiting from a gorgeous cast and blessed with tons of camp energy, Brass' film is a cheekily erotic thing that entertains while falling short of its supposed aim of educating its viewer. Quite what fans of his earlier, more sober works will make of it, I don't know. But it's fun.

As ever, Cult Epics have done a fine job in presenting the film fully intact on a wonderful, region-free DVD.

Review by Stuart Willis