PLANET OF THE VAMPIRE WOMEN

PLANET OF THE VAMPIRE WOMEN

Trash Films Orgy are an independent film production company based in Sacramento USA. Over the last decade or so, TFO have not only been devoted to creating low budget fun fuelled horror pictures, but have also held a long running annual film festival and lay claim to the first ever "Zombie Walk"!

Hot on the heels of their MONSTER FROM BIKINI BEACH, arrives another absurdly titled feature – PLANET OF THE VAMPIRE WOMEN.

The trademark haunting high pitched whistling associated with those 1950’s vintage sci fi yarns complements some contemporary digital animation depicting galactic traffic. This leads us into Pleasure Peer 5, a futuristic den of iniquity! Patrons have the option of washing down a pleasure pill with some spicy opium rum before indulging in a holographic fantasy. If that doesn’t rock your spaceship, how about simply ogling the erotic female dancing Pleasure Clone, Astrid Corvair (Stephanie Hyden) who is marvellously able to change her skimpy costumes with a mere swish of her slender hips! The clientele are an eclectic bunch including drug dealing doctors with a penchant for collecting old space ships and of course hapless gamblers.

But when your first line of security are metal bars that are more akin to polystyrene covered in metallic paint, there is always a risk of a raid.

Enter Captain Trix Richards (Paquita Estrada). This nubile Nubian of a woman is apparently wanted in 7 galaxies for piracy. (She’ll be joined by some online peers when the Digital Economy Act kicks in later this year me thinks!) The power mad pirate (believed to be insane by the authorities) has a penchant for violence and boobs, and is the leader of her sinister gang. In her crew are Ginger (Liesel Hanson), an all action babe with an attitude; Jonesy (Keith Letl) part man, part machine, this cyborg detests being called a robot(!); Candy Miranda (Danielle J Williams) an ex-fighter pilot who has developed a crippling drug habit and Vette Vanvanderzander (Emily Vernon) erm.... sexy babe!

They relieve the revolutionary $35 billion casino of its takings in a delightfully messy fashion, drenching a pair voluptuous breasts or two in blood, before fleeing to a new found stealthy hideaway.

But although their clandestine moon is cosseted from the detection of the authorities, such a secluded rock also has a few secrets of its own. When a malevolent cloud formation zaps Captain Richards with its electrical current she passes out. Upon waking from her temporary abduction, she is now sporting fangs and talons and has developed an insatiable blood lust!

Pursued by Sergeant Falco (Jawara Duncun) there now develops a three way battle for supremacy; Falco following the pirates (armed with his faithful ‘Volt Magnum’ blaster!) who themselves are both being hounded by the extra-terrestrial blood suckers.

Will a proposed truce between the law enforcement and space buccaneers be enough to escape from the vampires clutches? Or will the dormant blood suckers scheme to change the universe forever win through?

Well folks as you can ascertain from the title alone, this was never destined to be the most austere piece of horror film making ever committed to DVD! I, for one, am prepared to forgive such ludicrousness providing the picture has an element of storyline and delivers on the gore, giggles and nudity front – so how does POTVW fare???

The story itself works pretty well. The three fold predicament keeps things interesting and develops at a good pace. Writer and director Darin Wood has tweaked the sci fi and horror genre’s just enough to create some original characters for his 95 minute romp. With so many low budget gorefests the viewer’s boredom is only alleviated by the anticipation for the next cardboard protagonist to get slaughtered. But Wood’s diverse array central and peripheral characters, each have a mix of strength and weakness, in their makeup. Of course this is mostly played out in a nonsensical fashion, but all the same, the personalities do contain specific traits which contribute to the narrative including its conclusion.

That’s all good and well but what about the BLOOD??? The movie, thankfully, has regular bouts of splatter to inject a dose of adrenaline into proceedings. While special effects wizards such as Savini and Nicotero won’t lose any sleep over this movie, I personally felt the effects were varied and very well done. A miscellany of spurts from necks, lacerated flesh wounds and the obligatory splashes of crimson against boobies ensured the movie never became predicable with its bloodshed.

The movie obviously had a fun atmosphere and the dialogues slant on parodying the Sci Fi genre just about managed to elevate the picture above being downright silly. The cynical Gingers "...My bullshit scanner is picking up huge readings of ‘I don’t give a fuck’..." gives you some idea to the movies premise in this respect!

But where is low budget horror without a dollop of exploitation? The topless female form is exhibited throughout which ticked another box of mine so to speak! However, it wasn’t just the flagrant show of titties that made this movie downright sexy. Special mention has to go to the Pleasure Clone character, Astrid Corvair. Ms Hyden looks utterly splendid in her numerous miniscule outfits. From adorable cowgirl to cute cheerleader via (my personal fave) sexy female cop, Astrid lit up the movie in her every scene.

Even the films climax had its merits. The carnage at the end was satisfyingly gory while the story itself was topped off with an explanation and even a twist or two.

Naturally the movie wasn’t perfect. The space bugs for example were a tad farcical. While I appreciate Amy Slockblower (special make up supervisor) opting against CGI and using home grown monsters, the actual results (not helped by the green and blue blood) ended up looking like the laughable offspring of a sock puppet and cheap paper mache. Slockblower DID redeem herself however with the set. It had a worn look (It’s well publicised that George Lucas wanted his Star Wars galaxy to have the look and feel of a "..used and lived in universe"). This was adhered to competently enough in POTVW with the cockpits and weapons looking deliberately tattered and old. I felt it was a nice touch especially considering the budgetary constraints.

Christy Savage also deserves a mention. The director of photography draped the movie in red, green and yellow lighting at certain times which helped give the movie a dark intergalactic look and ultimately helped steer the audience away from a cheap studio into the outer realms of the galaxy!

The DVD itself had a crisp picture without looking cheap, apart from the aforementioned flying sequences which were unashamedly computer animated. The soundtrack intentionally flitting from left to right speaker also added a welcome layer to the atmosphere. Incredibly the DVD contained NO EXTRAS whatsoever which is a real shame as TFO’s own brand of schlock horror will surely attract a few fans along the way. Even trailers and a teaser for their upcoming feature (BADASS MONSTER KILLER... Lovecraft meets Shaft!!) would have been an effortless and welcome addition to the disc but all you get is a menu with the PLAY MOVIE option. Less is more huh?

Overall though I had a blast with this "drug fuelled fairy tale about space vampires" and will be looking out for previous and future releases, especially MONSTER FROM BIKINI BEACH seeing as it stars the delectable Ms Hayden.... Set phaser’s to .... "SHWIIING"!!!!

Review by Marc Lissenburg


 
Released by Seminal Films
Region 1 - NTSC
Not Rated
Extras :
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