42ND STREET PETE'S SLEAZY GRINDHOUSE PICTURE SHOW

This two-disc set is best described by the back-cover blurb: "Four of the Sleaziest, Slimiest and Most Depraved Features from the 1970s Grindhouse Circuit - Non-Stop, Courtesy of 42nd Street Pete!" Well okay, they've maybe gone a little overboard there ...

Yes, After Hours Cinema's middle-aged pervert is back in his hat, and this time the films on offer are a quadruple helping of obscure hairy shagging that you may not have heard of, but may well be interested in ... for unusual reasons...

Disc one begins with EROTIC ARTIST. This one instantly opens with an orgy of cocksucking in an apartment living room and badly post-dubbed audio, before cutting away to a groovy-looking couple who get it while mumbling their approval to each other.

The couple screw for a while longer, going through the usual motions of a blowjob followed by sex, with more wonderful dubbed dialogue making it possible for the female to converse with her partner despite having a penis halfway down her throat.

Then a greasy-haired bloke with John Waters-type moustache walks in, and it transpires that he's an artist whose latest project is to complete a "life drawing". So he's taking sketches of the aforementioned orgy, which just happens to be taking place in the next room.

Despite a few exterior linking shots which are literally seconds long, this is 45 minutes of wall-to-wall fucking and sucking of the whitest, hairiest, sweatiest variety. Devoid of plot or even music, it's a naturally-lit no-budget curiosity with often clumsily-shot sex scenes and only one point of note: you'll find the prolific (and one-time Rene Bond partner) Rick Lutze as a participant of the orgy.

EROTIC ARTIST is ugly, boring and rubbish.

1979's LENNY'S COMEBACK completes disc one, and at the very least carries the promise of featuring an appearance from CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST star Robert Kerman (performing here as R Bolla).

At least this one has a score and credits, however primitive. So already, it's a step up from the truly art-free EROTIC ARTIST!

This one has it's own audio too, as is evidenced in the opening scene where Mary Jo (Robin Byrd) and Wendy (Erica Havens), two girl friends, talk excitedly about attending a school reunion. They're both particularly looking forward to meeting up with Bryce (Bolla), something of a sporting hunk in his school days.

Then we meet Bryce, a balding and decidedly unsportly loser who's now married to a blonde bitch who's more interested in her vibrator than his package.

As the two girl friends continue to gaggle obliviously over their memories of hunky Bryce, we get a soft-focused flashback to Mary Jo getting off with Bryce in school - cue a rather spiffing blowjob.

Back in the present tense, Bryce learns of the class reunion and is equally keen to go. He has to eat his wife's ginger minge in order to get a pass for the night - but does so diligently, even getting his cock sucked in the process as the chore turns into a 69.

From here on in, we get a couple more flashbacks before the film limps along to the class reunion, and the inevitable meeting between the girl friends and Bryce. But one thing the girls didn't count on, other that Bryce now being a wimpy loser, is that Leonard (Michael Gaunt) - once the class nerd - would turn up reeking of his newfound fortunes, and hungry for filthy rich sex.

LENNY'S COMEBACK is justifiably obscure. It's not clever or distinctive, seemingly made in a single day with some one-take sex scenes really not making the grade, and performances that range between the bad and the pitiful. Having said that, it's fairly well-lit and the involvement of Bolla always ensures a more comedic approach to the dialogue.

As such, this is an occasionally amusing but largely forgettable sex film with lousy money shots.

Over on disc two, the smut continues with SHEILA'S PAYOFF.

This 1977 effort is pretty incomprehensible - even with the aid of 42nd Street Pete's liner notes - but involves a dark-haired dame called Sheila (Mimi Morgan) who has aspirations of becoming a singer. I think she's actually a whore though ...

It begins with a coupling that involves her fucking and sucking a typically hirsute bloke, before taking us back to when life was better for Sheila and she was with boyfriend Stu (near-legend Paul Thomas). Stu is wearing the best outfit I've EVER seen in a porno. And that's really saying something.

Cue more bonking, and even an unexpected bit of tea-bagging.

Then the film segues into a sub-plot where Stu owes local mobsters $52,000 and gets shot for his troubles. Sheila can't pay the money back either, so is forced into prostitution - after being raped.

It all comes full-circle when the story gets back to the present tense and we get a minor twist. More interesting than that though are some hard fucking, a bit of anal and a decent early cum-on-the-mouth scene for the pretty Mimi.

Other than that, this is nondescript stuff. The most cinematic moment of which is a brief couple of shots showing Sheila getting fucked through a mirror ...

Finally, the marathon of muckiness comes to a close with SPECIAL ORDER from 1974.

This starts with a suited Marc Stevens coaxing the comely Karla (Juliet Jay) into a game of "suck the lollipop". You can guess what she does next. If not, I'll clue you in by advising that this scene ends with Stevens unloading a healthy amount of cream onto Karla's mouth.

Then the pair of them are at it again, this time enjoying a 69 that climaxes with Stevens cumming over Karla's chest. She sucks him dry with a sly smile toward someone off-screen, and then it's off to fulfil another "special order".

Walking down the street, Karla catches the attention of a randy biker who offers her a lift. She smiles a very cute smile and offers to oblige if he's after a "special order". And so, he takes her back to his place where before long she's giving him a good spanking. The heavily tattooed biker then gets it on with Karla. Twice (he shoots first in her mouth, and then on her belly)!

After this, this episodic and strangely plotless film suddenly gets interesting for a reason approaching disbelief. Karla's next tryst is with two truckers, one of whom happens to be a young-looking Sonny Landham - who you'll recognise from films such as PREDATOR, ACTION JACKSON, POLTERGEIST, 48 HOURS ... Yes, he gets to fuck Karla - even shooting his load in her face!

Other than that, this is probably the most erotic film of the bunch. The sex scenes are reasonably well filmed and lit, while the cast are all enthusiastic - and it's a huge bonus that Jay is a pretty young thing. Also, the ever-reliable Eric Edwards turns up in a later vignette.

It must be said that the films all look horrible. Despite being remastered newly from original film prints and presented in anamorphic 1.78:1 transfers, there is an abundance of dirt and grain on each offering. Vertical lines are rife as are cigarette burns and specks throughout. But After Hours Cinema would like to remind you that they are replicating the way these films were seen in grindhouse theatres during the 1970s - so, no complaints! English mono audio is okay in general, despite a drop-out towards the end of EROTIC ARTIST and some muffled dialogue here and there during all four films.

Each disc opens with static main menu pages, where you can access each film as well as optional introductions to them from Pete. The introductions are suitable brief and light in manner. There is also an option on each disc to select the now-familiar "Grind It!" function - allowing you to view the contents of each disc as a double-bill, storefront style, complete with ropy trailers thrown in at intermission time for good measure.

There are no scene selection menus but each film can be remote accessed by way of several chapters.

The only extra is a good 8-page booklet with amusing liner notes from Pete and some graphic black-and-white screen grabs (the films are in colour, incidentally).

Some interesting - and in one instance, amazing - cast appearances make this a must-see for cult purists. But the films aren't up to much, unless you're a particularly forgiving pornhound.

Even so, I continue to praise After Hours Cinema for bringing such obscure vintage smut into our homes. God bless them!

Review by Stuart Willis