CANNIBALS: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

The onscreen title is simply WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

A text introduction to the film advises us that the US Vice President's son, Michael Rockefeller, went missing in cannibal territory in 1961. The scandal apparently instigated a huge manhunt - but Michael was never found.

The action then shifts briskly to Suva in Fiji, where we meet the gorgeous Mandi (Sandy Gardiner, SAINT FRANCIS) and her friend Bijou (Veronica Sywak, ROMULOUS MY FATHER). The old friends meet up and head off for a bit of fun on the local beach, all of the while filming their antics on Mandi's camcorder.

When they get there, Bijou is a little miffed to discover that Mandi has also invited her new boyfriend Colby (Callard Harris, INTERMEDIO). But Bijou's tune changes when the evening comes and she gets off with Colby's friend Mikey (Nick Richey, ALBINO FARM) in a bar.

Shortly afterwards, while Mikey and Colby discuss their blossoming relationships with their girls, Bijou tells Mandi that Mikey knows a local helicopter pilot who claims to have seen an old white man living in the wild of the New Guinea jungles.

Knowing the jungles to be inhabited by cannibals, the foursome discusses the possibility of perhaps Rockefeller still being alive out there. They also discuss the possibility of setting out to find him, and claim a huge reward that was offered decades earlier for his safe return.

Although the girls are against the idea, the boys persuade them that this is their chance to become famous - and the four have one last night on the piss before setting off for the jungles of New Guinea, intent on filming their journey on their two camcorders.

Once they reach the tiny shantytowns of New Guinea, the foursome are alarmed to encounter locals brandishing guns and rocks, chasing the young explorers away in their hired car. Undeterred, the hapless quartet find an opening to the forest and ditch the car in an effort to make it on foot to the mountain where Rockefeller may have been last sighted.

Along the way, the couples drink and bicker in equal measures, until eventually they fall out and go their separate ways. The remainder of the film follows their fates via the footage filmed on their handheld cameras …

JUNGLE is a funny old film. It has almost nothing going for it. While shot on location, the handheld digital camerawork unfortunately doesn't allow for us to take in the beautifully scenic countryside at the filmmakers' disposal. In fact, visually JUNGLE is an extremely dour and unremarkable film.

The performances are generally solid. Alas, director Jonathan Hensleigh's script tries it best to make each protagonist as unsympathetic as possible. With all the bitching and internal fighting this lot do, it's not to actually wish horrible destinies upon them.

Of course, the film's biggest drawback is that it's not entirely original. Not many genre films are these days, to be fair. But it becomes a real problem when all JUNGLE does is serve to remind us of how much we hated THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT's whiny campers and repetitive, plodding plot - and how essential CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is compared to this remarkably tame dross.

Indeed, in one latter scene, a female character is seen hanging naked and bloodied from a wooden gallows with a huge branch forced through her mouth. It's a nice homage to the "pole up the chuff" set-piece in Deodato's blueprint, I suppose, but again only serves to remind you how much you'd rather be watching HOLOCAUST.

The cannibals in JUNGLE are, for the most part, an unseen threat. When they do turn up, they seem to be little more than an afterthought. Some will find this slow build-up agreeable, in line with the aforementioned BLAIR WITCH. Personally, I'd hoped for a lot more (where, for instance, was the cannibalism?!).

In summary, I found JUNGLE to be a competent but forgettable entry in the increasingly popular sub-genre of fly-on-the-wall-type horrors filmed on the cheap using handheld cameras (CLOVERFIELD, [REC] etc). It's more BLAIR WITCH than CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, even down to not only the shaky camerawork but also the lack of score on the soundtrack. But, where BLAIR WITCH built to an admittedly scary finale, JUNGLE does not. And where HOLOCAUST exploited the more extreme possibilities of cannibalistic terror, JUNGLE shies away with nothing more than tame aftermath footage for gore.

The disc offers the film uncut in an anamorphic 1.78:1 transfer. Minor ghosting and minimal grain don't cause too much distraction in what is an otherwise bright and reasonably clean print.

The English audio holds up well throughout, with both solid 2.0 and 5.1 mixes on offer.

Animated menus include a scene-selection menu allowing access to the main feature via 8 chapters.

Of the extras, the most substantial is arguably a feature commentary track from Hensleigh. At times I found him refreshingly candid and gracious. At others, I found myself thinking "who the fuck does he think he is?". It's a little self-congratulatory at times … and if he wants to believe that his film is an "entertaining little nugget", then, who am I to disagree?

Elsewhere we get a 2-minute deleted scene showing the foursome chatting pre-jungle. This comes equipped with optional commentary from Hensleigh.

Finally there's an original 2-minute trailer for JUNGLE which makes it look more interesting than it is.

It's also worth mentioning that the disc opens with forced trailers for ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, DEATH RACE 2000 and STORM WARNING.

CANNIBALS: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE is a derivative and uninspired film. It fails to make use of potentially lovely scenery and robs its competent cast of the chance to make their characters worthy of caring for. Worst of all, it skimps badly on the cannibal stuff. Presented on a serviceable disc though.

Review by Stuart Willis