INGLORIOUS BASTARDS

(a.k.a. QUEL MALEDETTO TRENO BLINDATO; BASTARDI SENZA GLORIA; HELL'S HEROES; DEADLY MISSION; GI BRO; COUNTERFEIT COMMANDOS; THE DIRTY BASTARD)

The onscreen title on this disc is QUEL MALEDICTO TRENO BLINDATA.

The film opens in a US army camp in France 1944, with several American prisoners being ushered onto a truck by Military Police.

Among the prisoners being transported to another camp are Fred (Fred Williamson), unhinged murderer Tony (Peter Hooten), cowardly Berle (Jackie Basehart), weird Nick (Michael Pergolani) and disgraced fighter pilot Lieutenant Yeager (Bo Svenson).

Mid-transport, their truck is attacked by an enemy plane - which gives our fugitives (only the five named above survive the attack) the opportunity to take possession of the truck and make their escape into the French countryside. Yeager announces that he is headed for Switzerland where he can live in freedom, and the others like the sound of that.

After losing their truck during a shoot-out with German soldiers, Yeager's team take refuge in an abandoned barn. It's here that they meet German deserter Adolf (Raimund Harmstorf) who - after Yeager persuades the maniacal Tony not to kill him - agrees to show them the way through the forests and to the Swiss border.

The six men continue their trek towards Swiss soil, their internal harmony upset a little by racial tension between Fred and Tony, and Tony's insistence that he will shoot Adolf at the first opportunity.

But such squabbling is soon put aside as the team walk from one set-piece to another during a startlingly action-packed first half of the film. Each set-piece ends in a shoot-out of course (even when it involves a bunch of women gratuitously bathing naked in a lake - even they are armed with rifles!).

The film's direction changes midway through when Yeager and his men stumble across a French resistance group, who mistake Yeager for Lieutenant Sikes, a soldier Yeager accidentally gunned down, who is supposed to be carrying out a daring train ambush for the French.

Yeager claims to be Sikes and agrees to take on this mission with his men, seeing as a way to assure a safe crossing into Switzerland. When Colonel Buckner (Ian Bannen) turns up and reluctantly agrees that Yeager and his team of misfits can carry out the mission, the scene is set for a daring train raid …

INGLORIOUS BASTARDS clearly owes a lot to THE DIRTY DOZEN. It doesn't matter that it's premise is a complete rip-off though, as this is too much fun to bear such grudges against.

The cast are uniformly over-the-top, deliriously squeezing every ounce of panache out of a hilariously macho script.

Williamson chews on his cigars as per usual, while leaping off bridges and trains - presumably because the Italian crew couldn't afford a stuntman of his physical stature. Svenson looks like he's on the verge of giggling half the time, while Hooten clearly relishes his role as the bad boy - even though he's the only one who manages to squeeze a love interest into the film, in the shape of the delectable French nurse Nicole (Debra Berger).

While Pergolani … well, he's just odd. He minces around like a camp crossbreed of Ringo Starr and Tom Savini. It's quite disturbing, really …

While INGLORIOUS BASTARDS satisfies greatly with it's corny dialogue, insane pacing and melodramatic music, it does also fall victim to it's own excesses. The first half of the film is so chock-full of action and shoot-outs, that the impact of such scenes begins to become diluted - meaning the second half doesn't quite grab the attention in the same manner. It has to be said too that the film drags a tad in the mid-section when Yeager's men get to know their French allies.

It builds to a great bittersweet ending though, which is hampered somewhat by poor special effects, but enjoyable all the same. The effects on the film, incidentally, were performed by Gino De Rossi, who helped Gianetto De Rossi on some of his early 80's gore efforts, before going on to work on the likes of THE LAST EMPEROR and CASINO ROYALE.

Overall, this is excellent fun of the true "boy's own" variety. Aside from the occasional bad language and minor violence, this is the type of thing that used to play so well in cinemas as a matinee showing.

Optimum's R2 disc presents the film uncut in an excellent anamorphic 1.85:1 transfer. The film looks spectacularly good for it's age, with sharp images and bright, vibrant colours. Minor ghosting was evident in a couple of the livelier, early scenes, but apart from that this is a very pleasing presentation indeed.

The English mono audio is a solid, problem-free affair. Optional English subtitles are available for the brief moments in the film where characters speak in French or German.

The film can be accessed via 12 chapters.

The only extra on the screener disc was a theatrical trailer, presented in anamorphic 1.85:1 and lasting just under 4 minutes in length. This is a very entertaining watch, but it's a shame there's nothing more on offer here. Especially as Another World Entertainment have a nice 2-disc Special Edition out in Europe, and the Internet Movie Database makes mention of a 47-minute making-of documentary. Now, that would have been nice …

Still, purely for putting the film out on UK DVD for the first time and treating us to a superb transfer, Optimum must be applauded. See it, giggle and enjoy it for all the wrong reasons - then dread the day that has-been Tarantino gets round to remaking it, no doubt misjudging the unforced cheesiness completely and bastardising the script with loads of uncool "I'll get medieval on your motherfucking ass, bitch!" quotes …

Review by Stu Willis