BOTCHED

Following a botched diamond raid, which although had been executed smoothly was swiftly undermined when the getaway car veered to avoid a dog crashing and spilling the diamond haul across the road ass the pursuing police approached, hapless thief Ritchie (played confidently by veteran Stephen Dorff) is pushed by ganglord Uncle Grozny (Neil Marshall favourite Sean Pertwee) to do one more job before retiring from his criminal ways. Assured that the job is an easy 'in and out' assignment Ritchie heads off to Russia where with the assistance of two hired hands he's to hit a penthouse vault and steal a rare bejewelled gold crucifix. Of course in keeping with the vein of the films title things are assured to soon go horribly wrong…

Again, like the previous botched mission the execution of the theft itself seems to go according to plan (aside from Russian hood Peter's overzealous shooting of one of the penthouse's inhabitants) but it is when they seek to escape from the premises by way of the skyscraper lift things start to go awry. Failing miserably to stop office workers and even a security guard from entering the lift on the way down, matters go from bad to worse when the lift fails on the thirteenth floor. Fearing that the lift has been stopped intentionally by building security our hapless criminals use some quick thinking to utilise their new lift colleagues as their hostages. But as they investigate the seemingly abandoned thirteenth floor they soon find that all's not what it seems; the stairwell exit is bricked shut and when they try to deliver one of the hostages to security via the lift their world gets turned upside down when a large pair of shears appear from the lift doors and slice the poor hostages head clean off and the bloody carnage begins…

On paper, Botched is a very exciting and original spin on some old formula movies but even when you take onboard the appreciation of two very jarring film themes (the heist and horror movie) you'll be somewhat surprised to see that the film is in fact another genre altogether…the traditional British farce.

Long been absent in any meaningful way from our theatrical screens since the 1970's, Botched welcomingly attempts to revive the comedy farce genre but in a refreshing manner by taking the old comedy concepts and dragging them kicking and screaming into the 21st century with a seriously dark edge and lashings of gore. Amusingly what you would expect if Talbot (Carry On) Rothwell had been teamed with Tom (Dawn of the Dead) Savini, Botched may at times seem somewhat schizophrenic when it jumps from Benny Hill chase scenes to Hellraiseresque uber violence but is all the more bewilderingly entertaining for it.

First time director Kit Ryan does a solid job for a debut feature and keeps scripters Derek Boyle and Raymond Friel's romp moving along at a steady place. Like all good traditional theatrical farces the small ensemble cast of Botched is made up a collection of recognisable faces from the world of film and television backed with some name leads by way of the aforementioned Dorff and the lovely Jaime (Dexter) Murray along side some fun cameos from the likes of Sean Pertwee (a favourite here at SGM for his roles in Dog Soldiers and Doomsday).

A strange hybrid genre movie but a highly original one nonetheless, Botched is a welcome mix of 70's comedy romp and arterial gore, a Carry On Up The Thirteenth Floor if you like, but a light-hearted and fun bloody romp that makes for a fine date movie (and even grue loving grannies would approve!)

Review by Alan Simpson