OCTAMAN

A small group of scientists, led by Dr Torres (Kerwin Mathews), is working in the swamps of Mexico on finding proof of the effects of radiation on the animal kingdom. They stumble upon a baby octopus in possession of strange googly eyes. Along with his pretty assistant Susan (Pier Angeli), Torres determines that their discovery merits further examination.

He meets with his financial backers but they are reluctant to fund further tests. Having caught wind of a local ranch owner who also runs a circus (!), Torres approaches the cowboy with a proposition: stump up the money to further his team's explorations of their new find, and he will allow it to be exhibited for geek value at future circus dates.

But there's a problem. The baby octopus, along with its siblings, was sired by a half-man-half-octopus creature (Read Morgan) that the locals speak of in hushed tones. It turns out Daddy is very protective of his offspring.

Little surprise, then, when Torres' team begin to be picked off one-by-one in their camp. Any self-respecting fan of creature feature B-movies will also anticipate the monster's fascination with, and subsequent abduction of, the comely Susan - along with Torres' stoic determination to rescue her in due course ...

To best enjoy OCTAMAN, a certain MST3K-type mentality is recommended. It's fair to say that the film's charms are up (down?) there with the famously awful likes of MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE, ZAAT etc.

Sets are wooden. Actors are more so. The dialogue alternates between hammy scientific mumbo-jumbo delivered in a beguilingly unconvincing manner, and enjoyably dumb exchanges between characters serving simply to set them up as fodder for the titular beast.

If I tell you the cast are free from charisma and have about as much skill in delivering their lines as my feet do with a football (none whatsoever), it will come as no surprise. But it's hardly a measuring of quality for a film like this: it's a movie about a mutated man-octopus hybrid, after all.

A faint whiff of ecological commentary is swiftly buried beneath the above incompetence’s. The fact that a couple of scenes change from day to night without regard to continuity spreads the icing on a very scrappily cobbled-together cake.

So, what of the film's pace? It never sags. Nor does it ever gain true momentum. Writer-director Harry Essex isn't talented enough to maintain a fluidity tantamount to cohesion. Resultantly, for all its inept fun, OCTAMAN still feels long at 76 minutes in length. Still, Essex is nice enough to cast his own son David (no, not the Silver Dream Racer) in a supporting role.

The most likely reason for folk checking this film out, other than its crazy synopsis and 'so bad it's good' reputation, is the promise of the early FX work from Rick Baker. Yep, the bloke who won an Oscar for his special effects in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON.

Even taking into account the fact that OCTAMAN was made in 1971, a decade before WEREWOLF, and had a significantly lower budget ($250,000.00), the FX work here is laughably shit. Enjoyably so, admittedly. The monster is a man in a bad rubber suit with fake appendages that only move when his real arms do. Any child of the 1970s will doubtlessly liken the baby octopus to the Purple People Eater toy that was popular at the time.

In terms of exploitation, this film plays it safe. If released in the UK today, I'd wager this would merit a PG rating or a 12A at the very most. That's not necessarily a bad thing: the film clearly aspires to recreate the cheesy fun of 1950s sci-fi B-movies. I wasn't surprised to learn that Essex also wrote the screenplay for CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. OCTAMAN is pretty much a far less stylish retread of that film. KING KONG is mentioned a couple of times in the script too, demonstrating that the filmmakers at least didn't try to cover up their blatant influences.

This Cheezy Flicks DVD release presents OCTAMAN in its uncut form, albeit in a murky VHS-quality transfer. Pillar-boxed at 1.33:1, this pan-and-scan offering not only loses information on either side of the screen but is often too dark and muddy to enjoy whatever's unfolding on screen. Colours bleed, images are soft and lacking in finer detail - OCTAMAN takes a severe beating by way of this travesty of a presentation.

English mono audio is just as bad. Although there are no drop-outs, there is often background hiss and occasional pops on the soundtrack that can't fail to distract viewers. Worse still, the first 13 minutes of this presentation suffer from really badly out-of-synch audio. Confusing! Frustrating!

The disc opens to a static main menu page. A static scene-selection menu offers access to the film via 8 chapters.

Only one 'extra' appears on the disc: a 6-minute reel of trailers for other titles in the Cheezy Flicks roster. These are THE NAVY VERSUS THE NIGHT MONSTERS, BLOODSUCKING NAZI ZOMBIES, DESTINATION INNER SPACE, INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS and FRAULEINS IN UNIFORM.

Fans of OCTAMAN would do well to get hold of BayView Entertainment's 2012 "40th Anniversary Edition" DVD instead. It can be found reasonably cheap on Amazon. Like this Cheezy Flicks debacle, BayView's disc is region-free. But it boasts a far superior widescreen presentation of the main feature along with a bonus film - Essex's THE CREMATIORS - as well as an original trailer and video interview.

Cheezy Flicks' diabolical disc is, however, one to avoid at all costs. You have been warned!

Review by Stuart Willis