NINJA APOCALYPSE

Opening television snippets reveal the political chaos of the neat-future which leads to "the great war". Our film commences proper some years after the devastation caused globally by subsequent nuclear bombs.

Predictably, the world now resembles the desert wastelands of the MAD MAX films. Less obviously, these barren plains are now the stomping grounds for gangs of nomadic survivors, all of whom appear to blessed with ninja combat skills - and the occasional magic power, to boot.

One such gang is known as the Lost Clan. They're led by permanently frowning Cage (Christian Oliver), and also consist of his volatile warrior brother Surge (Les Brandt), deaf-and-dumb giant Sky (Isaac C Singleton Jr), smarty pants Trillion (Kaiwi Lyman) and token hottie Mar (Tara Macken).

Along with all other ninja posses, Cage's clan are summoned to a huge nuclear bunker lair, where their leader, Grandmaster Fumitaka (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), instructs a peace treaty between the warring tribes. A truce seems especially unlikely between Cage and rival gang leader Becker (West Laing), who have held a grudge against each other since falling out while studying at the ninja training academy many moons ago.

As if getting the evil eye from Becker isn't bad enough, things get a whole lot worse for Cage and his buddies when Fumitaka emerges on a balcony to address the various clans below. Someone from the crowd launches a Chinese throwing star into the old sage's head - and, for reasons never made clear, everyone points the finger of blame at Cage.

Madness erupts, and the Lost Clan are chased into the bunker's labyrinthine underground passages. A bounty is swiftly placed on their heads, and so the other clans - most significantly, Becker's - give chase.

It's here that Cage and friends encounter all manner of strange assailants: an invisible vampire, a horde of zombies, ninjas with mystical powers and more. Fortunately our heroes have magical talents of their own (Cage can summon lightning in his hands; Sky can 'see' through walls, etc), which may just help them survive the film and find out who tried to frame Cage for Fumitaka's assassination - and why.

Painted horizon backdrops, entertainingly budget CGI effects, a cast with chiselled daytime TV looks and nary a thespian quality between them ... NINJA APOCALYPSE takes its trashy synopsis and catapults it a breakneck speed through a cheap, colourful production that will have you looking for Charles Band's name on the credits.

Director Lloyd Lee Barnett races through set-pieces, not caring for performances or Ashley Scott Meyers' unintentionally funny script, but at least delivering plenty of well-choreographed fight sequences which at times resemble the MORTAL COMBAT film. The gore comes frequent and fast (though is often of the ZATOICHI computer-generated spraying variety).

NINJA APOCALYPSE is about as well-made as an episode of TV's 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers'. But it's very entertaining, especially when you realise - about 2 minutes in, literally - that none of it makes any sense whatsoever.

Signature Entertainment's region 2 DVD presents the film in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio. The picture is enhanced for 16x9 televisions and looks very good indeed. Strong colours, natural flesh tones and sturdy blacks work alongside super-sharp definition to ensure NINJA APOCALYPSE always looks the business.

English 2.0 audio is also impressive, offering intelligent balance and clean, crisp sounds throughout.

The screener disc sent for review didn't have any extras or menus.

NINJA APOCALYPSE is a very slick, polished-looking slice of shameless trash that should appeal to anyone who spent the 1980s in DTV heaven. It looks fabulous on Signature Entertainment's DVD.

By Stuart Willis