NIGHT OF THE TENTACLES

One of the zaniest movies to appear at 2012’s DEAD BY DAWN festival was a curious 70 minute romp depicting what would happen if you fused the Manson Family with Sesame Street! The movie was THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE and its creator Dustin Mills is back with an equally alluring movie entitled NIGHT OF THE TENTACLES!

The movie revolves around Dave (Brandon Salkil), a graphic artist in his mid-twenties. His speciality is Fantasy Erotica which frustratingly is sometimes labelled as smut for some reason. It’s a hard job, but someone needs to paint those lucid depictions of alien jizz! Despite earning an honest living in his niche market, Dave leads a lonesome life and seldom leaves his apartment block. Sure he has his faithful dog, Charlie (played by the director’s canine of the same name) but all too often he has to endure his randy neighbours Iggy and Mona’s overzealous lovemaking and bizarre role playing games. (Tigers fucking ‘bad little monkeys’ anyone?!?!)

Dave does have one source of enjoyment though. Beneath him resides Esther (Nicole Gerity) and, although pregnant, every evening without fail her pleasured moans filter through his flooring as she gratifies herself with a bit of ‘beaver brushing’. Unbeknown to Esther, her artistic neighbour has honed his aural snooping by positioning himself at the perfect spot on his floor in order to get the full benefits of her lustful sighs while ‘buffing his own banana’!

Possibly down to bad circulation, during one of these wankfests, poor old Dave suffers a premature heart attack. The resulting surgery leaves him very weak and sporting a sizable scar. Regardless of his feeble condition, his sleazeball landlord Mr Freck (played by director Mills), pops in to drop off some beers - and remind him of his pending rent payment.

But the convalescing artist’s fate soon takes a turn for the better. He is visited by none other then Satan who makes him an offer Dave can’t refuse. Now as we all know, when doing deals with the Devil it’s always advisable to read the small print. While Dave is indeed given the promised new heart, there are certain strings, or more accurately tentacles, attached to the contract…

So as you may have guessed solely from the title, NOTT is a slice of wacky schlock whose miniscule budget is more compensated for by abundance of humour. Throw in some gratuitous sex and smattering of cheap gore and you have the recipe for another entertaining flick from the ever resourceful Dustin Mills!

But for all the toilet humour (and indeed ‘porcelain pan’ deaths for that matter!) there was a distinct quality to the acting. How often have we witnessed an element of utter awkwardness to the characters performances which constantly reminds the viewer they are watching a cheap production? Not so with this flick. Salkil is brilliant as the pitiable Dave complete with a range of facial contortions which appropriately accompany his hopeless plight; Gerity radiated the right balance of sweetness and desperation as Esther tried in vain to bag her man; Mills himself was hilarious as the obscenely crass landlord while Jackie McKonn convinced as the obnoxious pet threatening neighbour whose demise courtesy of a lavatory and the slimy villain was truly memorable! As for Charlie the dog – let’s just say his enthusiasm at lapping up milk made for a genuinely cringe inducing moment as the fruits of Dave’s desires spilled onto his wooden floor…

Some innovative gory sequences were depicted as claw tipped tentacles tore through chest cavities, ruptured eye sockets and excruciatingly found their way to human orifices via toilet bowls! The effects themselves were hardly top draw but at least team Mills made a sincere effort to keep things ‘real’ in this department with CG only employed sparingly.

Technically the movie was surprisingly impressive. The 1.33:1 aspect ratio had a cinematic quality helped in no small way by the impressive lighting throughout. As the mood of the movie evolved, so did the illumination and aesthetic. Starting with a natural homeliness the luminosity transgressed through gaudy purples to stark angry reds.

The garish transformation reminded me in no small way of BASKET CASE and FRANKENHOOKER so it was no surprise then when in the main ‘extra’ on the disc, a feature length commentary track solely narrated by Mills, a genuine of love for all things Henenlotter was declared. The track was a more restrained affair than the movie itself with Mills informatively discussing various aspects of the picture in a laid back manner.

The only other bonus material is two trailers for the aforementioned puppet bloodbath and another Mills feature, ZOMBIE A-HOLE.

One final thing I feel worthy of note is the packaging itself. While the cover artwork is standard fare, an insert with a comic styled illustration of the infamous ‘toilet death’ scene was included. Its little gestures like this along with the fact the end credits claim to have a "Tentacle Wrangler" on its roll that more than justifies a modest few quid being invested on an entertaining little flick that is whole heartedly ridiculous but strangely memorable.

Review by Marc Lissenburg