MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE

Gosh.

The film opens on a gaudy, cheap interior set meant to signify a space station housing the eccentric green-suited scientist, Dr Forrester (Trace Beaulieu). He explains to the camera how he aims to take over the world (good luck mate, you can’t even walk through your laboratory without walking into stuff). But first, he needs to dispense of his old adversary, Mike (Michael Nelson) and his two robot companions.

Forrester has them held prisoner in a cinema-style environment where he hopes to drive them demented with a succession of shit movies. Alas, he describes Mike as "a disgustingly mild-mannered dope who’s managed to survive every film I’ve subjected him to".

Until now.

Mike’s one of those good-looking young American men with a shit-eating grin: your typical daytime TV hero. We first meet him running on a huge hamster-type wheel while robot cohorts Gypsy (voiced by director Jim Mallon) and Benkitnorf (John Brady) encourage him. Mike’s closest robot buddy Crow (voiced by Beaulieu) is busy at this time, singing "It’s a Long Way to Tipperary" …

Anyhow, Forrester appears on a huge screen and interrupts their amiable chatter, insisting Mike and his mechanical friends make their way to the cinema auditorium built as a prison for them, and sit through the latest piece of cack that he’s unearthed.

In this instance, it’s Joseph F Newman’s 1955 B-movie, THIS ISLAND EARTH. Cool.

From there onwards, the bulk of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE (with odd forays back to the sharply shot, brightly lit studio spaceship where Mike otherwise resides) ensues with a faded, flickering presentation of THIS ISLAND EARTH on the screen, the silhouettes of Mike and his robots sat watching it at the bottom of the screen throughout.

Isn’t that dull, you may ask. Well, it should be, but lest we forget that this overlooked little film from 1996 is based upon a hugely successful cult series that ran on US TV for some 11 years. All of which was based on a painfully simple premise: a crappy sci-fi link dictates that captives are forced to watch – and commentate wittily through – some of the most enjoyably bad B-movies ever made.

Known as MST3K to the legions of fans of its TV run, this film version does indeed choose a choice B-movie to rip the piss out of and the running commentary is often extremely witty. None of it is worth repeating here though: I did consider doing that, but then swiftly realised that it’s only funny if you’re watching the film at the time.

The linking story, on the other hand, is weak and puerile.

Still, lovers of the series will love the format regardless. It’s nice to see it travel to the UK too, as everyone appreciates people take the piss out of a bad film. And these guys, crucially, are very good at that task.

It’s all very clean, so you could even encourage the kids to watch this with you. Though what they’d make of watching a shit film with silhouettes of robots criticising it, is anyone’s guess. It’s not quite "Harry Hill’s TV Burp", after all …

The in-between parts look like they were shot on the set of "Goosebumps" – make of that what you will …

MST3K (cripes, I’m a fan?!) comes to UK DVD uncut in a 16x9 widescreen presentation that looks extremely nice with strongly defined images and really vivid colour schemes.

Obviously, once the film-within-a-film commences, where looking at a paler, washed-out screen due to the old print of THIS ISLAND EARTH being blown up before our eyes. But all in all, this is a solid transfer of a curiously hodgepodge proposition.

English audio is proffered in an adequate 2.0 variant.

The DVD opens to the well-known Universal logo (having watched the main feature, you could be forgiven for expecting to see the Nickelodeon logo at this juncture), then leading to an animated main menu page where you can access the static scene-selection menu to traverse the film by way of 8 chapters. The orange laser gun silhouette that guides you around the main menu appears, it must be said, to be shaped in the form of a bell-end. An unfortunate and unintentional fact, I’m certain …

Extras include a brisk 5-minute featurette looking into the making of this film and the legacy it was hoping to expand upon. This is an agreeable if all-too-brief reveal into the cheap and cheerful world of MST’s crazed ensemble.

A 100-second trailer is just as fast-paced and excitable, serving as a perfect teaser to the main feature.

Finally, we get a 20-strong gallery of colourful stills.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE clearly revels, as does the series it expands upon, the terribleness of bad movies. It talks through them highlighting their failures for the purposes of hilarity.

Now, whether or not you require an affable spaceman and two puppet robots to do for you what you and your mates most likely do adequately after a few beers, I don’t know. But, it is hard not to smile along to this crap anyway …

Review by Stuart Willis