THE MOTHER OF TEARS

(A.k.a. LA TERZA MADRE)

By the turn of the Century, many Dario Argento fans were starting to despair at the thought that the Italian horror maestro may never complete the unofficial trilogy began by his classics SUSPIRIA and INFERNO. Others prayed, in light of his sub-standard latter-day output – the likes of 1998’s THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and 2004’s THE CARD PLAYER – that the oft-rumoured conclusion wouldn’t transpire.

Predictably, THE MOTHER OF TEARS proved to be highly divisive upon its 2007 release.

Sarah (Asia Argento) is an art student in Rome who discovers that she has inherited her white witch mother’s (Daria Nicolodi) supernatural powers. She quickly learns that they must be put to use to combat the evil Mater Lacrimarum (Moran Atias) – who has been resurrected, thanks to the recent graveyard discovery of a mysterious urn.

As Sarah struggles to cope with her newfound abilities and evade the cops, who are hunting her in connection with her friend's bloody murder, the evil Mater begins to gather her minions - most of who look like they've been modelled on The Spice Girls - and transform the world into a mass of rioting violence.

A showdown is inevitable. Can Sarah ultimately confront and defeat her wicked nemesis, and thus save the world?

That's the simplest way of summarising this film's plot. To provide a more detailed synopsis is a tad difficult, as it's difficult to call to mind any other horror film that is as totally off its fucking rocker as this one is.

Characters pop up seemingly for the sole purpose of being bloodily disposed of moments later (The Japanese female assassin? The hissing bald bloke with a briefcase full of adaptable killing tools?), while the insanely messy plot - the product of a screenplay co-written by Argento, Jace Anderson, Simona Simonetti, Walter Fasano and Adam Gierasch - darts the action across several countries and at lightning speed. Blink too hard and you're sure to lose your place.

As with SLEEPLESS, motifs from the director’s back catalogue are revamped with wild abandon. The most bizarre of these is the inclusion of a murderous chimp, reversing the role of Donald Pleasance’s loyal simian from 1985’s almost equally fucked up PHENOMENA.

Elsewhere, nods to the likes of OPERA, SUSPIRIA and TENEBRAE are a given. But the confused, busy storytelling also manages to pilfer from THE OMEN, THE EXORCIST and HALLOWEEN. An orgiastic sequence towards the end even echoes a dream episode from EMBODIMENT OF EVIL. Purely by coincidence, in the latter case.

An impressive cast also includes the likes of Philippe Leroy and Udo Kier. The latter hams it up ludicrously, despite practically begging several years earlier to work with Argento again, in an Easter Egg on Anchor Bay US's SUSPIRIA DVD. Ms Argento is confused in the lead role (unsurprisingly), while the best "worst performance" goes to UK actor Adam James as Sarah's lover, whose transformation from grieving parent to sinister possession victim is unintentionally hilarious.

Dialogue is stupid from the offset; the violence is so extraordinarily over-the-top that it often feels like splatstick. Audiences giggled throughout premier screenings. The final shot, which finds the surviving protagonists in fits of inappropriate laughter, suggests that the joke is on those of us foolish enough to have awaited this film with anticipation.

And yet, remarkably, subsequent viewings reveal THE MOTHER OF TEARS to be cheap but colourful fun. Yes, it's off its tits, but it's also incredibly entertaining in a guilt-inducing manner and can at the very least never be accused of being boring.

It's also righteously gory, with throat-slashings galore along with some nasty sexual violence (spear rammed up the chuff, anyone?). Limbs are hacked off, skin is pierced with wide daggers, and there's a brilliant machete-smashed-face scene that is just begging for Cannibal Corpse to write a song about it.

Claudio Simonetti's score is pompous and exaggerated; as if he'd viewed the first cut of the film and immediately understood its extreme levels of camp.

Boobies are bouncing nakedly all over the place towards the end of the film too, not least of all the lovely Atias'. So while the film may well be ridiculous on every conceptual level, as a slice of exploitation it scores repeatedly.

My advice is this: Don't waste time berating Argento for falling from grace. Try not to compare this too much to SUSPIRIA and INFERNO (or, if you do, remember that modern-day audiences now find them laughable too). Don't fret too much about keeping up with the abundance of inconsequential characters this film throws up, or the mess that masquerades as its screenplay. Enjoy its bad acting and risible dialogue. Savour the OTT score and outlandishly bloody (mostly practical) FX.

Bonkers to the extreme, there's nothing quite like THE MOTHER OF TEARS. And each time I watch it, I fall a little bit more in love with it.

Speaking of watching it, there's currently no better way to view it than on this blu-ray disc from Koch Media.

The film is presented uncut in a nicely sized MPEG4-AVC file, in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio and enhanced for 16x9 televisions. The 1080p HD picture is stunning for the most part, offering sharp and clean imagery with bold colours and deep blacks. Contrast is well rendered ad compression is never an issue.

What really becomes apparent in this transfer, from a technical viewpoint, is how handsome the film actually is. Frederic Fasano's cinematography is some of the most luscious Argento has benefited from since OPERA, and here it truly shows.

It's a great transfer by-and-large. My only reservation is the occasional hints of edge enhancement. They're not a major issue, but they were noticeable.

Audio is provided in both English and German 5.1 DTS-HD tracks. I focussed on the former - the film's original track - and it sounded great. Optional subtitles are also available in both languages.

The disc opens to a gory animated main menu page. From there, pop-up menus include a scene-selection menu allowing access to the film via 12 chapters.

Extras include a 30-minute Making Of featurette containing on-camera interviews with several cast and crew members, and a 33-minute video document of the film's premiere at the Cinestrange Festival (I've never seen Argento looking happier than he does here: very relaxed indeed). Unfortunately neither of these are English-friendly.

We also German, Italian and American trailers for the film. Only the latter is English-friendly. All the other extras come equipped with German subtitles.

An animated 76-second stills gallery focuses on behind-the-scenes shots and is set to the terrible rock song that also plays over the main feature's end credits.

I should mention that the disc is nicely packaged too. It comes in a slim black keepcase (like those 'Black Edition' releases - SEED etc), which itself is encased in an attractive card slipcase.

The haters can continue to hate all they like. Me, I'm willing to confess that I get a lot of pleasure from watching this crazy film. There are so many "what the fuck?!" moments in it that you could make a drinking game out of them.

It's shame the two documentaries on the disc don't come with English subtitles. But the film looks and sounds great.

By Stuart Willis