MONSTER BRAWL

There is no match for the boundless imagination of a young child is there? Take director Jesse Thomas Cook for example. His passion for 1980’s American Wrestling and Classic Monsters led him to merging the two into a chaotic, blood drenched scream-a-thon, ingeniously titled, MONSTER BRAWL!

The idea is as simple as it sounds. 8 creatures ranging from the classically mythical to the fiendishly fictitious are paired against each other in the ring for a fatal fight to the death! The rules are simple: there are no rules.

Presented by American sports commentators Buzz Chambers (Dave Foley) and Sasquatch Sid (Art Hindle) the Monsters basically kick the piss out of each other at a secret graveyard with only one winner triumphing from the assembled grotesque contenders. Add the raucous ramblings from WWE’s Jimmy Hart to the mix and you have a fight night with a difference.

Our contenders are, Witch Bitch, Frankenstein’s Monster, Zombie Man, Werewolf, Cyclops, Swamp Gut, Lady Vampire and The Mummy. Divided into relevant weight divisions, once the tale of the tape has been told its seconds out….

Before the bouts commence, however, we are treated to a brief history of each character (narrated by Lance Henriksen no less) which includes their fighting strengths and hopes for the tournament. That apart, the bulk of this absurdly original movie simply follows the knockout style tournament to its bitter conclusion.

Ok TIME OUT… TIME OUT!

I have sat through some truly bizarre DVD’s in my time but after watching Monster Brawl, I think I found the undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World for all out wackiness!

The problem is this though: While there is scant little wrong with Cook’s love wrestling (each to their own) along with monsters (who doesn’t?), combining ones passions is not always a wise move. I mean I love pornography and I love fast food – but a movie about a Big Mac humping a Double Whopper just isn’t going to do anything for me. (Ok so if you chucked a Hot Wing in from KFC with some BBQ sauce it might cause a flutter in my groin but that’s another story…)

Don’t get me wrong, the concept of different beasts being pitted against each other does have some potential. I for one loved the gore drenched Freddy vs Jason fantasy. But the snag comes when you limit these fantastic beings to the confines of a frigging Wrestling Ring!

It kind of reminded me of episodes from that dreamlike MTV show, Celebrity Death Match. (For anyone unfamiliar with CD, it was an animated TV show depicting celebrity lookalikes made from plasticine duelling it out in an extraordinarily sadistic manner) But whereas the MTV show was presented in consumable 10 minute chunks every week, this movie is a full 85 minutes in duration.

Another problem I had was the fact it seemed too biased toward the "sports presentation" format making the monsters themselves secondary elements of the picture. Sure there was some attention paid to the paradoxical question of how can the un-dead partake in a fight to the death (??) and even the odd ‘fart joke’ thrown in for good measure but largely, unless you are a Hulk Hogan aficionado, I feel the format of the movie and manner of the humour would be lost on the majority of us.

But maybe I am just being a bit prudish for my own good. In fairness, Cook went as far as to hire actual wrestlers to be made up as the brawling monsters and the fight scenes are as professionally choreographed and energetic as any bout Fox Sports or the WWE can lay claim to!

The battles on the canvas were also reasonably brutal, hence supplying regular provisions of gore. Hammers routinely pummelled faces, eyes were gouged and limbs ripped off. Most impressive, was the "Frankenstein’s boot crushing Zombie Mans skull" sequence which was as good a ‘head crush’ scene that you could hope for in such a puerile offering. ‘The Brothers Gore’, who worked assiduously around the clock to provide the movie with its special effects on a reputed miniscule budget, lived up to their name when providing the movie with its ultra-violent highlight!

That leads me nicely to my favourite part of the DVD itself. No, it wasn’t any particular rumble, but a segment in the ‘Extras’ entitled "Beyond the Grave". In this segment we are talked through just what a challenge it was getting the project together. Regardless of my personal opinions on the movie itself, it was impossible not to be impressed with how the relatively small crew worked tirelessly to convert an old warehouse into the atmospheric eerie cemetery complete with tons of earth, tombstones and, of course, a wrestling ring!

The skit also revealed how the 8 beasts were selected along with their evolution from simple concept art sketches to intricate latex makeup. The 25 minute special feature actually made me feel a little guilty, dare I say it, for not enjoying the Main Event a lot more. But with its brash American Sports attitude and way too much incessantly moronic shouting from the presenters, my overall impression was that beers, along with a few friends, would be a prerequisite before having a hoot with this ghoulish grapple.

Review by Marc Lissenburg