THE LOST EPISODE

(A.k.a. PENNHURST)

A mother turns up outside a closed-down mental asylum one evening, frantically searching for her errant son. The security guard there reluctantly agrees to go in and inspect the place … and is never heard from again.

Several years later, the place is paid a visit by a group of annoying teenagers. They’re led by prankster Vincent (Andrew Betz), who informs the others that "a whole TV show film crew disappeared here last year".

You see, the asylum in question is said to be haunted. It’s reportedly been derelict for years, the last folks foolish enough in the meantime to negotiate a tour of the place having gone missing during the recording of said show on paranormal phenomenon.

The film proceeds to intersperse material of the teens ridiculing Vincent as he attempts to scare them with his account of what happened, with flashback footage which actually details the aforementioned film crew’s fate.

In the flashback footage, which accounts for the bulk of the film’s remaining screen time, we see the six-strong TV team arriving at the spooky Pennhurst setting with a handheld camera. Among them are producer Scott (Jimmy Palumbo), cameraman Badger (Michael McKiddy), nipple-tastic director Megan (Haylie Duff) and their middle-aged, would-be psychic presenter Elden (Robb Pruitt).

Upon their arrival, they’re greeted by the obligatory sinister caretaker, Willard (J LaRose), who warns them against venturing into the place. Sure enough, they ignore his caution and hasten on into the foreboding building.

Once inside, they check out the various segments of the place, divided into different buildings designed for various types of patients – the incurably insane, "vegetables", those in requirement of being punished, and so on. Willard follows them, regaling them with stories of illicit experiments and the brutalising of patients.

The place certainly seems creepy enough; the real excitement though comes when they appear to capture a ghostly apparition on their camera. Excitedly, the team settle themselves in for an extensive tour of the gaff.

As the group split up (of course!) to investigate their surroundings, Willard loiters disapprovingly. Gradually each member of the group has unpleasant supernatural experiences, before stumbling upon the real horror at the heart of the asylum.

I won’t give any more away, in case you feel some strange compulsion to see this film, but will divulge that director Michael Rooker gives himself a significant role in the film’s second half, and there’s a nasty surprise in store for Vincent’s mob too.

As mentioned above, this is directed by Rooker, the respected actor best-known in genre circles for his chilling central performance in HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER. Sadly, THE LOST EPISODE is horrible.

So … what’s wrong with this film? How long have you got?

On a technical level, it looks cheap and ghastly. The camerawork is bad enough to chop the tops of heads off on many occasions (I don’t mean the handheld footage either – there’s surprisingly little of that), and the cinematography is so poor that almost every scene where editing is employed suffers from inconsistent natural lighting. Over-exposure makes some scenes harsh on the eyes; in other sequences, you’ll be struggling to see what’s happening under the cloud of badly-lit darkness.

The acting is almost uniformly bad. The teenagers in the linking device probably take honours for being the worst performers, though LaRose comes a VERY close second. A corny, predictable screenplay complete with implausible dialogue doesn’t help this under-talented bunch’s efforts. Even Rooker’s performance is unintentionally silly, which says everything for his ability to direct actors.

The music is clichéd, signposting the ‘horrors’ in a manner so obvious that any self-respecting horror fan should feel insulted. And, of course, horrendous industrial rock music just has to feature in here at one point.

The gore scenes are mostly kept off-screen; blimey, these folk can’t even afford decent lighting, they were hardly going to splash out on a credible FX artist.

You could literally create a drinking game out of the amount of continuity fuck-ups in this film, be it with regards to lighting, clothing, people positioning … but you’d be pissed by the time the end credits roll.

Oh, and what of logic? Like, how come one character’s hand sinks through a ghost one minute and then, seconds later, they’re able to touch their arm? Or what about the sex scene where a couple fuck despite both genders wearing pants?

These technical shortcomings, massive though they are, could be overlooked perhaps if the film still managed to entertain. But, fucking hell, this feels an abject lesson in how to make 76 minutes feel like an eternity, by way of ripping off set-pieces from superior horror films (THE SHINING, HOSTEL, RING, GRAVE ENCOUNTERS are but a few) while stripping them of any energy or style.

So, what of the film’s good points? Well, the setting – a genuine disused asylum – is authentically atmospheric, a marvel of the beautifully macabre. Taken in the right frame of mind, the film can actually be very funny. It’s not meant to be, but it is. And, finally, Duff looks good in a vest.

THE LOST EPISODE comes to UK DVD courtesy of Metrodome. The film is given the full uncut treatment and is presented in its original 1.78:1 aspect ratio. The transfer is anamorphically enhanced.

Picture-wise, the presentation here isn’t that great. Though that’s likely due more to the aforementioned shortcomings in the film’s making than any poor authoring on Metrodome’s part. Either way, scenes veer wildly between being blown out or overly dark and colourless. None of it is particularly sharp either.

Unfortunately the English 2.0 audio track fares little better. There’s an inconsistency to how dialogue was recorded which means it’s nigh-on impossible to watch this satisfactorily without fucking around with your TV’s volume on occasion.

This region 2 disc opens to a static main menu page. There is no scene-selection menu, but the film can be whizzed through (recommended) by way of 8 remote chapters.

Sado-masochists may have hoped for bonus features; alas, there are none.

THE LOST EPISODE may represent the absolute nadir of the "found footage" horror cycle. That’s no mean feat in itself. But don’t be impressed – it pains me to say this, as I really like Rooker as an actor, but his directorial debut is badly filmed, cliché-ridden rubbish.

I wish this one could’ve stayed lost.

Review by Stuart Willis