THE LOST EMPIRE

Wong's Jewellery store in Chinatown is attacked by three hooded, Chinese throwing star-wielding ninjas. They disperse of the owner first, and then make mincemeat of the first cops on the scene.

Among the fallen is policeman Rob (Bill Thornbury). His sister, Angel (Melanie Vincz) - a big busted Charlie's Angels-type glamour puss who also happens to be a cop - visits him in hospital, just in time to get the gist of the situation from him. Along with her cheesy boyfriend Rick (Paul Coufos), she determines to avenge her brother's death. And we know she's capable, after being introduced to her during a bloody, action-packed high school siege set-piece.

Probing deeper into the Chinatown incident, Rick explains to Angel that everything seems to point to the legend of Lee Chuck, an oriental chap who sold his soul to Satan many moons ago in return for immortality. The rub is that Chuck in return has to commit at least one murder every day.

Rick hooks Angel up with Charlie Chang (Art Hern), an expert on the subject. He directs towards an annual fighting tournament held on a remote island, in which trios of game women are invited to compete. This, he tells her, is overseen by the shady Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) - a man who is said to have strong personal ties to Lee Chuck.

Without further ado, Angel gets busy enlisting the help of two more feisty females to complete her trio. Indian native Whitestar (Raven De La Croix) is a willing accomplice, as she owes her life to the valiant girl cop.

Jailbird Heather (Angela (Aames) is less obliging at first. Angel was her arresting officer, after all. But, following a nice gratuitous spot of girl-on-girl scrapping in the mud (including the priceless line of dialogue "You're gonna swim out of here in your own blood, shit-stain!"), Angel manages to coax Heather into helping by way of offering to wipe her slate clean. Did I mention that she puts this proposition to Heather while the latter is naked and soaped-up in the shower?!

Once her trio is complete, Angel registers them into the tournament and they fly with sinister escort Koro (Robert Tessier) to the mysterious island (which Heather likens to 'Fantasy Island', complete with a risible impression of Tattoo).

Cue lots of tough-talking "action movie" dialogue - and that's just the girls! - along with agreeable bouts of female nudity, jungle caper excursions, some enjoyably rum choreography during the copious combat scenes and a surprising amount of gore.

Writer-director Jim Wynorski has been hugely prolific since the mid-80s, his most notable efforts including the likes of CHOPPING MALL, THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING and, er, PIRANHACONDA. He's a protégé of the Roger Corman school of filmmaking, and THE LOST EMPIRE was his first feature film.

From the off, it ably demonstrates Corman's sensibilities in abundance. It's cheap, certainly, complete with naff effects and wooden performances, but cheerily so. It's also extremely resourceful - check out the segues from ninja action to bloody gore to WiP drama to soft-core skin flick and beyond; where did the amorous gorilla spring from, and why?!; the painted backdrop to the island setting is unexpectedly successful - and, best of all, blessed with a boundless camp energy.

The women are all attractive and keep their ample bosoms pushed to the fore. Wynorski has no issues with zooming his camera in on their cleavages either. For the ladies, Coufos is a tanned Tom Selleck-alike who looks like he filled his spare time by posing in tennis attire in the pages of catalogues. Scrimm overcooks his stern-faced shtick to perfection. The entire cast are hilarious, in fact, never more so than when they're not meant to be. Though, to give credit to Wynorski's script, it's often witty and clearly has affection for the forgiving B-movie brigade it caters towards.

A criticism could be that the film doesn't really know what it wants to be, or perhaps more accurately that it wants to please everyone and as a result covers too many bases. But that just adds to the delirium, resulting in a fast-paced, knowingly OTT headfuck that happily throws in the kitchen sink along with everything else - just for the heck of it.

I defy you not to have fun while watching this.

Polyscope Media Group's region 1 DVD presents THE LOST EMPIRE uncut and in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio. The picture is 16x9 enhanced but, that aside, it looks a little ropy.

True, colours are bold and detail is fine - especially in close-ups - but digital noise and edge enhancement also make their unwelcome presence known.

English 2.0 audio is okay for the most part. It's clean and audible throughout, although some dialogue does come across as overly quiet. Whether or not this is a direct consequence of how the sound was recorded is unsure, as the film does look to have been dubbed in post-production.

The disc opens to a static main menu page. From there, a static scene selection menu allows access to the film via 17 chapters.

Bonus features begin with an audio commentary track from Wynorski. He's in fine fettle and evidences a clear affection for his film. He speaks candidly of his cast members, updates us a little on some of their fates, and even points out moments where extras mimed scenes because he couldn't afford to pay them to have dialogue. Interestingly, he reveals how the film was intended to be a 3D experience but the wrong cameras were brought to the shoot, and that the stock footage is comprised of outtakes from OUR MAN FLINT. Corman would be proud.

We also get a gaudy gallery of 17 stills which is neither here nor there.

Finally, we get music from the original soundtrack. This amounts to 10 tracks of unashamedly cheesy, typically 80s electro music over the course of 26 entertaining minutes. The 10 cues have titles such as "Whitestar", "Meet Your Maker" and "Punks At School". Rather uninspiring still images accompany the sounds.

A great mish-mash of genres, done on the cheap and gloriously camp as if its life depended upon it, THE LOST EMPIRE is silly entertainment from start to finish. While the transfer isn't perfect, Polyscope's DVD offers a credible presentation (the first time the film's been legitimately available in its correct aspect ratio, I believe) and solid extras.

Enjoy.

Review by Stuart Willis