THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

While transporting dangerous criminal Krug (Garret Dillahunt) to a new prison, Morton's (Michael Bowen) car is ran off the road by another vehicle. The protagonists, wearing Slipknot-style masks, are Krug's pal Francis (Aaron Paul) and his lover Sadie (Riki Lindhome). They snigger as Krug finishes Morton off by stomping on his bleeding head while shoving a photograph of his children under his nose. And then the unholy three flee.

Then we meet innocent Mari (Sara Paxton), who's travelled with her wannabe-hip parents to their holiday home for the summer. Soon bored, Mari loans their car for the afternoon and drives out to meet her pal Paige (Martha MacIsaac). The pair hang out in a local store where they meet Justin (Spencer Treat Clark), who promises them some "grade A shit" if they drive him back to his motel room.

Naively, the girls oblige and ... sure enough, he delivers on the grade A shit. The three of them enjoy a few tokes on Justin's bed. At ease in her surroundings, Mari calls her mother to tell her she's staying overnight at Paige's.

Back in the motel room, the fun continues for a while until Krug, Sadie and Francis burst into the room. It turns out that Justin is Krug's drug-addicted son and Daddy is very pissed off that his dope is being shared with two strangers. As Krug begins to beat Justin, Mari and Paige beg to be allowed to leave the room.

But, no, Krug & Co have other plans for them ...

Wes Craven's 1972 film THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT has thrived on a reputation of nastiness for the last three decades. So it's little surprise that this rehash is nastier, gorier, and more brutal. Its violence is more akin, however, to THE DEVIL'S REJECTS than the original LAST HOUSE. It feels more smug, more cloying - this is not a savage piece of social commentary like it's forefather; it's an exercise in giving Multiplex audiences what they want.

To this end, director Dennis Iliadis fulfils his role by providing an attractive cast, gorgeous exterior cinematography and slick editing to ensure that - on the surface at least - his film is far more 'well-made' than Craven's comparatively terse and amateur original.

But while Iliadis' film is good-looking and polished in-between it's scenes of crowd-pleasing gore, it lacks the subtext that made Craven's debut so relevant - then and now. The whole point of Craven's film, and the whole reason it's controversy in this country (banned for almost three decades) was absurd, is that his film carries an obvious message: violence is bad, no matter what the motive may be. That's why audiences originally felt so cheated by the ending of the original LAST HOUSE, and why John Carty slated the film so in his landmark book "Splatter Movies: Breaking the Last Taboo of the Screen" - there was no catharsis.

Iliadis' violence is undoubtedly hard-hitting but almost chic in an MTV manner. It's far too polished to obtain that rough, dangerous feel. We're never threatened by what we see, much less heartbroken. I mean, for all it's flaws, the original film was heartbreaking during those humiliating scenes in the woods ... right?

This is too self-conscious in comparison, too preoccupied with method acting and just-so lighting. It's very adept as a film - perhaps too much so, as the abandoning of the original's jarring handheld camerawork suggests - and I'm sure mainstream audiences lapped it up as one of these new-fangled "just like it used to be in the 70s" horror films. But, again, this is about as 70s in feel as THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. Which is not a bad film, don't get me wrong, but there is a world of difference between a horror film from the 70s and a film that wants to emulate everything it loves about 70s horror.

Still, the story remains potent in any director's hands, and there are some undeniably strong moments hidden within this outwardly glossy film.

The performances from Paxton and MacIsaac are very convincing, and rescued the film for me just when my attention was starting to wander (35 minutes in, once they get to the woods with Krug etc). In fact, the middle-section of the film is very tightly executed and provides some surprisingly strong moments of both tension and repulsion.

But the third act, which was a tad silly and unfeasibly coincidental even in the original, loses the plot completely and ends in a manner that I'd wager even screenwriters Adam Alleca and Carl Ellsworth have regretted ever since it was filmed.

My brother prefers 2003's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE to the 1974 Tobe Hooper original that inspired it. My mate Andy first saw THE EXORCIST when it enjoyed a theatrical re-release several years back, and laughed his head off all the way through it. Both are some years younger than me. So, although I don't appreciate remakes myself, I do see how remaking a film from three decades ago could make it more palatable for modern audiences. And I'd dare say there are quite a few people who will prefer this slicker, better produced and more consciously cruel picture over Craven and producer Sean S Cunningham's mutant original.

The best thing about this new version is that it dispenses with that awkward ill-fitting humour that wrecks the tone of Craven's source film. And I've got to hand it to Dillahunt: he's an imposing presence as the criminal gang-leader. But, come on, there's only one David Hess ...

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is presented in a sharp anamorphic 1.85:1 transfer. A tad dark at times, for the most part the film's presentation is colourful and natural-looking. Colours are vivid and, as you'd expect from such a modern proposition, grain is non-existent. Many of the daytime scenes are stunning.

English audio is provided in a rousing 5.1 mix. 5.1 audio is also proffered in Hungarian, Czechoslovakian and Polish. Optional subtitles are available in no less than 12 languages, including English.

An animated main menu page leads into a static scene-selection menu allowing access to the film via 20 chapters.

Extras are extremely limited.

First up we get "A Look Inside", an EPK-style featurette briskly editing together clips from the film alongside soundbites from the likes of Craven and Iliadis. The best quote is from Craven: "I think it'll be as big a classic as the original". Yeah, right - I'm sure that not even he believes that. Either way, at only 2-and-a-half minutes in length this is hardly a worthwhile venture.

9 minutes of deleted scenes are presented in non-anamorphic 1.85:1. They don't reveal anything that should have been kept in the final cut, but are worth a nod regardless.

The extras are provided with optional subtitles.

The disc is defaulted to open with trailers for PUBLIC ENEMIES, FIGHTING, THE UNBORN and FAST AND FURIOUS.

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT remake is not the travesty that I'd anticipated, then. But it is still pretty pointless when you think about it. Having said that, it's far better than LAST HOUSE rip-off CHAOS, albeit not as nasty.

Also available on Blu-ray.

Review by Stu Willis