ICRIME

Carrie Kevin (Sara Fletcher) is in Hollywood with apparent dreams of stardom. But with every passing day spent at her partially famous cousin Stefy’s (Kelly Noonan) apartment, the prospect of Carrie seeing her name in lights becomes a little more improbable. Her covert purpose for residing with Stefy is to simply protect her – but of course this doesn’t pay very well! Except all of a sudden a fresh opportunity presents itself. Dabbling in a little tabloid journalism, Carrie gets wind of the disappearance of an online vlogger, Jordan Rovers (Leah McKendrick). (That’s ‘video blogger’ to me and you!) Jordan is a bit of an internet celebrity it seems and her online stardom suddenly takes a sinister twist when she is apparently kidnapped in mid vlog!!

When Carrie’s unsanctioned boss, Evelyn Echo (Katherine Randolf), reveals she has a video tape of Carries celebrity cousin in all sorts of sexual situations, which will inevitable put Stefy’s career on the rocks, Carrie decides the only chance she has of retrieving the tape is to provide Evelyn with an even more sensationalist story. (You guys still with me?) She sets out to prove that Jordan’s online disappearance was in actual fact a fake. But with Tinsel Town full of phony people playing the game of deceit, will unravelling this mystery prove to be a mission that will expose Carrie’s own dishonest ways...?

OK first things first: Unless you have aspirations of being a porn starlet, the whole ‘going to Hollywood to become a star’ has become just a little tiresome in my mind! It’s not often I struggle to take notes while watching the diverse array of screeners that land on my door step but I must confess my pen and pad were severely underworked with this ‘on-line thriller’ directed by Bears Fonte. I just watched in bewilderment as the plot wandered deeper and deeper into increasingly improbable territory.

It started promisingly enough when Carrie drugs a sleazy cretin of a man before burning his treasured collection of videotaped sexual exploits. But from then on, the concept of self-made online celebrities being taken seriously became extremely dreary. Maybe it’s me but guess what? I don’t give a ‘BBFC censored VHS tape’ about who is dating who in Hollywood, much less about someone on You Tube sensationalizing it.

The characters throughout the movie were weak and clichéd. Yes there was an abundance of gorgeous women, including Carrie’s cousin Stefy, but all too often they bored me beyond caring. Then there was Carrie herself who, after a kick ass opening scene, proved herself to be a bit of a loser. It was all a bit weak and molded round one of the most implausible plots I have watched in a long time.

Deceiving folk with the internet is a bit of a one trick pony. Sure it worked quite well as being a certain facet of a narrative (such as in Black Heaven) but when every single twist and character revolves around hi-tech deception it renders itself lacklustre at best.

Apparently South Pasadena High School, which also appeared in John Carpenters classic Halloween, is featured within the overly protracted 102 minute run time. But when a vaguely recognizable building becomes the movies main point of interest you know you’re in trouble!

Maybe I am being a little too harsh here. Maybe there is an audience out there with a vested interest in Heat magazine and celebrity internet chat rooms who will find this online thriller an entertaining and fun flick. If so, I apologize, but for me it was just too farfetched and frail to warrant a recommendation from yours truly.

Review by Marc Lissenburg