HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS

HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS

(A.k.a. HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS 3D)

As children, Hansel and his sister Gretel are led into the dark woods by their father. He commands them to stay where they are as he runs off. Before long they realise they’ve been abandoned, and venture further into the forestry in search of the way home. They stumble upon a cottage made of colourful candy. Upon entering, they’re abducted by a witch who holds them prisoner. While Gretel works as the witch’s slave, Hansel is force-fed in a bid to fatten him up. But, of course, the kids eventually get the better of the old hag and live to fight another day. Literally.

That’s the ten-minute pre-credits sequence over with. The rest of WITCH HUNTERS goes on to describe what happened to Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arderton) when they grew up.

Via a handsomely mounted animated montage during the opening titles, we see how the siblings become legendary bounty hunters famed for slaying witches across the land.

Then we’re updated to "Many years later", and a small hamlet where local sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare) is busy preparing to publicly execute the pretty Mina (Pihla Viitala) for being a witch. The Mayor (Rainer Block) appeals to the zealous crowd that has gathered, protesting that there is no evidence to suggest the woman is evil. Enter Hansel and Gretel, who rescue Mina and head-butt Berringer in the process.

It turns out that they have been hired by the Mayor to track down 11 local children who have recently gone missing. Villagers fear that nearby witches have stolen the kids. Much to Berringer’s chagrin, the fabled siblings are now tasked with saving the day – something that he wanted to do.

While Hansel and Gretel warm themselves overnight at the local tavern, Berringer gathers a few men together with the intention of entering the local woods and finding the witches first – thus claiming the reward that has been set aside for his new rivals. However, when Berringer’s men happen across the beautiful Muriel (Famke Janssen) in the trees, all is not quite as it seems. Muriel is swiftly revealed to be the head witch, and dispatches of all but one of the men – sending the sole survivor back to the tavern with a bloody message for her would-be pursuers.

Is that enough to give Hansel and Gretel pause for thought? Of course not! Before long, they’ve caught a lesser witch and manage to beat a little information out of her: the witches are preparing for an event known as "Blood Moon", where 12 children are required to be sacrificed in a ritual that will result in Muriel attaining power beyond their wildest dreams.

And so the siblings, with the help of the likes of Mina and uber-fan Ben (Thomas Mann), set about waging war on the witches. Luckily, Hansel and Gretel seem to be immune to the hags’ body-exploding spells …

Will Ferrell is likeable enough as a funny man, but when I saw his name attached to this "fantasy horror" film as co-producer, doubts started to set in. Factor in a few more ingredients – mainstream totty in the lead roles; the $50 million budget co-funded by the likes of Paramount and MTV Films; the dreaded 3D selling point – and my expectations were lower than a tart’s knickers. Heck, I’m not even keen on writer-director Tommy Wirkola’s breakthrough hit DEAD SNOW.

So when I say I was pleasantly surprised by WITCH HUNTERS, it needs to be kept in perspective.

What’s to like? The pace is brisk, the film’s basic and silly plot allowing for a flab-free 84 minutes of action, one-liners and more action. Characterisation is minimal but it doesn’t matter as Wirkola’s objective is fun. As far as that goes, he succeeds.

Renner is a wooden but agreeable lead, while Arterton is sexy and sassy enough to overlook the fact that, really, she isn’t a very good actress. The script is hammy enough to allow for such shortcomings, while better performers such as Stormare are clearly relishing in their broadly written roles.

The make-up work on the witches makes each one look like a member of Cradle of Filth, while the gore FX is mostly of the CGI variety. So although we get quite a few exploding torsos and splattered heads throughout the film, it’s not difficult to see how Wirkola’s emphasis on fantasy rather than brutality helped the film garner a 12 certificate in the UK (in its theatrical version, at any rate).

Action scenes are well-choreographed, albeit the physical movements and rock score accompaniment can’t help but take viewers back to THE MATRIX or, more recently, ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER.

While WITCH HUNTERS isn’t a comedy, it does have more than its fair share of groan-worthy wisecracks from its titular brother-and-sister act. This also helps prevent the film’s tone from becoming overly dark, effectively counter-balancing against its themes of child abduction and persecution. Of course, an attractive cast and luscious, at times Burton-esque cinematography also help its cause.

The 3D aspect is apparent even in the 2D standard definition version I viewed. Right from the stylishly animated opening titles sequence, you can see how graphics have been multi-layered to achieve maximum effect: if you’re into 3D, I doubt this film will disappoint on that front.

What doesn’t work? Well, Gretel befriends a CGI troll called Edward and he’s crappily conceived to the point of being a complete distraction whenever he’s on screen. The twist in the plot can be seen coming from a mile off. Predictably, the film is also left open come the end (indeed, a sequel is currently in development). Accents stem from here, there and everywhere which is arguably more amusing than annoying; the logic behind people carrying powerful bazooka-type guns around in Olde-Worlde settings is lost on me.

Paramount Pictures are releasing HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS in three formats: DVD, blu-ray and 3D blu-ray. We were provided with the former to review.

The Region 2 DVD presents the film in its original theatrical cut, in a rather spiffing transfer that respects the original 2.35:1 aspect ratio. The picture has been enhanced for 16x9 television sets and proffers a sharp, colourful playback which looks about as good as standard definition can get.

English audio comes in a rousing, evenly balanced 5.1 mix. Optional subtitles are provided in English, English for the Hard-of-Hearing, and Netherlands. There is also the option of an English language "audio descriptive" track.

The disc’s animated main menu is a lively, fiery affair. From there, a static scene-selection menu allows access to the film via 12 chapters.

The only extra on the DVD is a featurette entitled "The Witching Hours". This a fairly flimsy 9-minute offering in which the design of the witches’ make-up is examined.

It’s worth noting that the regular blu-ray, which was not available for review, not only offers the unrated version of the film (containing scenes that were "too intense" for cinema audiences …) but two additional featurettes. Just to confuse matters, the 3D blu-ray contains both 2D and 3D versions of the theatrical cut of the film, and – from what I can gather – no extra features!

Almost universally panned upon its cinema release, I went into HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS fearing the very worst. I was actually pleasantly surprised, but remain reticent to recommend it to seasoned SGM readers. It’s light, it’s trite, it’s innocuous fun … maybe it’s one to watch with the kids.

Review by Stuart Willis


 
Released by Paramount Home Entertainment
Region 2
Rated 15
Extras :
see main review
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