THE GUILLOTINES

Against a fiery backdrop the following narration opens up the film, affording a semblance of understanding as to its placing and theme: "The 5th year of Qianlong's reign, a rebel cult known as 'Herders' began assassinating Qing officials. Legend has it their leader Wolf is a ruthless killer - a self-proclaimed prophet who promised followers eternal life. To prevent the Herders rebellion from growing, the Imperial court dispatched The Guillotines to rid Qing of its final threat ..."

From there, we're introduced to a faction of the hooded collective known as Herders, gathering like transients round a manmade fire in a deserted street at night. Leader Wolf (Xiaoming Huang) speaks of a gathering with their comrades which is due to take place in Beijing - before slaying one of their own for being a traitor. This is the cue for The Guillotines, who have been hiding nearby, to pounce into mortal combat with the Herders. Enter field commander Leng (Ethan Juan), strategist Hutu (Tian Gao), defence specialists Su (Peng Guo), Musen (Yuchun Li) and Shisan (Boran Jing), and 'vanguards' Buka (Yi Wei Zhou) and Chen Tai (Purba Rgyal).

An almighty ruckus ensues, the Guillotines using their customary form of attack - flying decapitation contraptions that embed themselves in victim's neck and then slice through flesh and bone ("considered the deadliest weapon prior to the advent of firearms", a further piece of opening titles-placed narration informs us) - to skilfully dispose of most of their adversaries. Significantly, Wolf is among those they take alive.

And yet, their chief commander Gua-erjia Gong-e (Yu Wang) is not happy. He considers this latest Guillotines mission - their 348th for the court - to have been compromised, and blames his daughter Musen. In a display of comradeship, the others leap to her defence and prevent her expulsion from the group.

Leng then visits Wolf in his holding cell, on the eve of his supposed public execution. Wolf insists they've met before, if not in reality then in his dreams. It's a bizarre opening gambit from this guy with a Christ complex, but Leng's sufficiently freaked out to make a mental note to try and kill Wolf at a later date - should the execution not take place.

Indeed, it doesn't: a team of Wolf's cronies infiltrate the onlooking village square crowd the next morning and, following more fighting, Wolf makes his escape - with Musen as his hostage.

Gong-e insists the Guillotines take off in pursuit. "Your lives belong to the imperial court", the team are reminded as they set off on their trek across the barren Chinese countryside in search of Wolf and his fellow bandits. With them they take Herder female Bai Lan (Li Meng) as a trade for Musen, and dodgy Haidu (Shawn Yue). Much to Gong-e's dissatisfaction, the latter has been sent by the emperor to "protect" the Guillotines. We soon learn, too, that there is a history shared between Leng and Haidu which goes back to their childhood days...

A journey across the land proceeds, taking in a stay at a smallpox-infested shantytown, home truths, conflicts of loyalty and much more.

If you were paying attention, you'll have noticed that the opening narration which I transcribed above is very badly written. It literally flits between past and present tense in the space of a single sentence. The poor penmanship doesn't stop there. Early into proceedings, we're told that the Guillotines are only allowed to be seen at night. They contradict that rule literally within minutes, and continually do so without explanation throughout the film. We're also advised near the start that they have never been taught to read or write - the assumption being that an ill-educated assassin is more likely to remain dependent upon the emperor's support. So, how come they have no problem, 21 minutes into the film, reading a message that Wolf's scrawled in blood? Sloppy, very sloppy.

The bad writing extends to the characters who populate THE GUILLOTINES, as none of them are interesting or likeable enough to care for. Consequently, once the bravura first two battle sequences are over, things get very dull indeed as director Andrew Lau (INFERNAL AFFAIRS) turns his attentions to attempting emotionally stirring drama with decidedly stagnant results.

Gregorian wailing adds precious little flare to a dull score; flashy slow-motion action set-pieces are well-choreographed but delivered with such clinical polish that they reek of style over content. Everyone is ludicrously well-groomed too, making the idea that this is a tale about assassins versus rebels in 15th Century China seem about as convincing as the very bad CGI.

What else is wrong with this film? Oh yeah, the 112-minute running time feels far too long.

In its defence, the cinematography is amazing, we do get excellent sound design and the computer game-type aesthetics are - I suppose - pretty ... if you like that sort of thing. There's an impressive array of old-school weaponry on show too: throwing stars, scythes, spears, daggers, swords etc. But don't be expecting brutal combat scenes a la THE RAID: REDEMPTION because this is surprisingly anaemic in that respect.

SGM were sent a very early tester disc for THE GUILLOTINES. So early in fact, that I sat on it until closer to its eventual release date. Alas, the influx of great new titles being released in the meantime saw it get overlooked and now this review comes belatedly following the film's release onto UK DVD release on 30th June. My apologies to Metrodome for this oversight.

Going back to said screener disc, it was a very elementary affair offering the film only. Still, the film looked excellent in a bright, colourful and sharp 16x9 presentation which respected the original aspect ratio of 2.35:1. Solid blacks, accurate flesh-tones and finely balanced contrast round off what is a pretty spiffing visual offering.

The Mandarin stereo audio track provided on the disc was also an extremely reliable, clean proposition. English subtitles were burned-in to the screener disc transfer and did suffer from the occasional glaring typing error. This isn't necessarily true of the final product that hit stores recently.

There were no extras or menus provided on the screener disc. I'm not sure what the actual retail disc proffers but, judging by Metrodome's recent genre output, I'd wager that the most we can expect are a couple of trailers for other titles that play upon disc load-up.

THE GUILLOTINES looks great, has an epic feel and is never short on action. But the poor screenwriting and crappy CGI killed it for me. The more forgiving may find it capable of holding their attention. Good luck.

Review by Stuart Willis