FRANKENSTEIN VS THE CREATURE FROM BLOOD COVE

Well, here we are again folks - in the strange underworld of the shot-on-video cheapie. You know, since it's me reviewing this DVD, that it's not going to get an easy ride, don't you? If I carry on like this I'll start to become the 'Mr. Nasty' of video reviewers. But honestly, it seems like anyone with half a brain and access to a digital camcorder are able to commit their visual atrocities to film - and ultimately to DVDs, which have to be reviewed by suckers like me. However, being the heroic fellow that I am, I wade through the muck and mire so you don't have to.

Now, if I was to give a brief summation of the contents of this DVD, I'd have to simply say: AVOID AT ALL COSTS!! No, really, if you spend good money on this garbage you'll regret it. You will, trust me. Don't be fooled by the recommendation on the cover, which reads: "a loving homage to the classic cinema of yesteryear"

A loving homage? Good God, if I were James Whale or Tod Browning, I'd be spinning in my grave fast enough to generate electricity!! Are you getting the picture by now that this is really not a good movie?

Okay, enough of my flippancy and self-indulgent ramblings - you want to know about the movie, right? You might regret asking that, but I'll give it to you the best I can…

Hmmm…two men in joke shop masks battle it out by swinging their arms a lot and slapping each other gently sort of sums up the experience. The story? There's a story? Oh yeah, nearly forgot about that in my rush to tell you about the two guys in joke shop masks slapping each other. Right…well…a trio of scientists manage to resurrect the Frankenstein monster who kind of gets out of control and ends up having a fight with the so-called Creature from Blood Cove, which is also one of their abortive creations. I think that was basically it, to be honest. There's some atrocious acting along the way, worthless dialogue, some nudity, Ron Jeremy and Lloyd Kaufman. I'm struggling here to actually say something positive about the film…but I don't think I can. Oh - yes I can - the film is very nicely shot in black and white and certainly looks a lot better than other films of its ilk. I think that's about the only good thing I can say about the DVD. Most definitely one the most boring, tedious movies I have ever had the misfortune to sit through.

As for extras, there are some, which include 2 'Making Of' documentaries (like, who cares?), audition footage, audio commentaries, deleted scenes, bloopers (though I'd argue that the whole movie is a blooper reel) and a trailer. There's some other stuff lurking around, as well. To be honest, I didn't really watch many of the extras for fear that my sanity wouldn't cope with the strain. There's only so much time the human brain can continue to absorb dross without physically imploding.

The movie itself is presented in black and white and with a non-anamorphic (despite the packaging claiming to house a 16x9 transfer) image framed at about 1.85:1. To be fair, the transfer looks very nice and has a very crisp image with no encoding artifacts that I could see. The audio was well presented in 2.0 stereo and the dialogue was always clear.

Overall, I have to say that this DVD is a complete waste of time and I would advise potential buyers to steer well clear. I'd love to be able to support independent filmmaking, but come on guys, you'll have to do better than this.

Review by C J Otter