Who Wants To Be An Erotic Billionaire

Based upon a popular TV quiz show format that cannot be divulged for legal reasons ... Well you may not be Einstein, but you know it ain't Family Fortunes, right?!

What we have here is another low budget, hi-fun foray into soft-porn territory from the ever opportune-seeking folk at Seduction cinema. Having shamelessly cashed in on recent popular cinema trends with titles such as Play-Mate Of The Apes and The Erotic Witch Project, this jolly band of good natured titty-tweakers have turned their attentions to ripping off the small screen's most popular international success in years (wonder when they'll branch out to 'Ready Steady F**k'?!).

But don't read that as a bad thing - exploitation is what we're all here for, right? And while Seduction may work on abudget, they still do things in style.

Julian Wells plays hostess Remis Phildin, and appears to be having a great amount of genuine fun reading out the ridiculous questions - "How many sides does a triangle have?" being a prime example. But the questions need to be kept easy, because for each correct answer model Bambi (Vivica Taylor) removes an article of clothing. Curvy, firm and tanned, Bambi looks very enticing squashed into a tight black dress - but even better when contestant No 1 Gloria (Bethany Lott) answers enough questions successfully to get Bambi naked!

A couple more questions answered correctly, and Gloria has won herself the priviledge of some sensual love-making with the eager beaver Bambi. I think Remis says it best: "All right, hot lesbian action. Get me some popcorn!"

The seduction of Gloria is genuiney erotic - much more so than the hardcore stuff shat out by the likes of Vivid these days. These girls seem less like high-paid actresses and more like being genuinely turned on by each other. The overall sense of fun adds to the film's sexiness too.

So what do you get to see here? Well, lots of hard nipple action - Bambi's a sillicone babe, while Gloria is natural and therefore much more pleasing on these eyes! Ooh, she's got a spotty butt though - luckily the camera shies away quite quickly! It's all quite soft fun, but genuinely erotic due to the girls' aforementioned enthusiasm which doesn't feel in any way contrived. And, although there's no hard action, it must be mentioned that this scene lasts at least as long (if not longer) than your average hardcore sex scene. They each in turn bring their partner to climax via the oral method. Well, would you expect anything less?

This scene is followed by a 'commercial break' which delves into Troma's Edge TV territory (read: sub-Python humour that may appeal to inmates & primates).

2nd contestant is Gary (Zakk Snygg) - an inbred who Remis gives difficult questions to (she looks a bit bored at this point) and Bambi's reaction to his stupidity is more hostile than sultry: throwing shoes at him, etc. When he does inadvertantly get questions right, she removes articles of clothing in a stilted fashion, uninterested in his reaction.

With Gary out of the picture, peroxide beauty Allison S (as Tatum) is next up - cue camera close up of her breasts as she enters her seat. Very Russ Meyer!

Bambi obviously approves of her newest contestant, as the striptease act starts before any questions are answered correctly! A disgruntled Gary complains, but cannot prevent the ensuing nakedness that Bambi gleefully exhibits as Tatum answers her next few questions correctly. And within a matter of minutes the pair are up there on stage, getting it on with each other.

If anything this display of girl-on-girl affection is even more erotic and revealing that the last episode. There's a brief 69 stint, and Tatum even takes the time to indulge in a spot of sitting on Bambi's face. Well, I don't know how it was for Bambi, but it was OK for me!

The final contestant (another overweight reject from Dorksville USA) fluffs his questions and feels the wrath of Remis' acid tongue. This scene is a bit redundant to be honest. Let's skip forward then ...

The announcement by the Association for Shy & Tmid People is another Pythonesque parody on Public Service Announcements that you may find amusing.

But it's after this that the real fun starts - the show ends, and Gloria seduces Remis backstage! Cue some very erotic heavy petting and two beautiful natural frames rubbing against each other in genuine pleasure. Lots of sensual body licking going on here - especially from Gloria (boy, does she seem into what she's doing! Nice to see an actress embrace their character so fully!). Listen to me - I'm a respectable person, honest!! Again this scene is very lengthy and will please those who expect soft-porn outings to offer no more than brief excursions into titillation terrain.

The whole thing culminates (I will avoid the word climax!) with Tatum and Gloria winning a final round of BILLIONAIRE and being invited to feast on the body - or, rather, the genitals - of Bambi. They accept of course, and Remis joins in too. The ensuing 4-way lesbian orgy is a feast of tanned female flesh filmed against a cheap set: if it's your bag, you'll know!!!

Overall, this was filmed with fun in mind and that's what comes across. It certainly is erotic - especially whenever the lovely Bethany Lott hits the screen - and the comedy, however dumb, adds sexiness to an already novel cash-in premise.

The extras include a Behind The Scenes featurette which concentrates on photo shoots as well as actual filming (but features plenty of nudity, so - hey?!). it's pretty good - much more than your average EPK would offer. And it looks like the shoot was a jovial one, which adds to the sincerity (sexiness) of the finished product.

You also get trailers for a couple of Misty Mundae films and some of the RetroSeduction range (including INGA, reviewed on SGM), weblinks and a special offer on Alternative Cinema magazine.

Picture quality's fine as is the audio.

Review by Stuart Willis

'Who Wants To Be An Erotic Billionaire' can be ordered direct from Alternative Cinema by clicking here.