'Pointless' is the kindest word to sum up the latest Platinum Dunes 're-imagining' of a horror classic. This time it's Nightmare on Elm Street, which tells the tale of Quentin, Jesse and Dean who all live on Elm Street. Each night they share the same 'horrific' dream of the same man, 'Freddy Krueger', wearing a red and black stripped jumper who has sharp knives for fingers. One by one he terrorises them and their only way out is to wake up, but when what happens in their dreams becomes real after one of their friends dies. In order to stay alive they have to stay awake.
This film is the 5th remake from Michael Bay's cash cow enterprise. First we had The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) followed by Amityville Horror (2005), Texas Chainsaw Massacre the Beginning (2006) and The Hitcher (2007). I've seen all of these remakes and each time I fail to see what the imaginative aspect of the 're-imagining' of the original is, as each one is very bland and by no means frightening. This one is no exception however it certainly qualifies as a re-imagining as there are several narrative changes within it. One of the changes is potentially very interesting as there's a lot of concentration on Freddy and the children's back-story which appears to be an attempt to add more psychological depth to the characters. All five of these remakes tend to morph into one cohesive (corporate) whole. They all look identical and all of the cast are more or less directed in the same way (as they tend to stare at the floor a lot). I'm not convinced that any of the above can count as authorial trademark signatures more like the 'Michael Bay brand stamps'.
Every time I endure one of these films I also fail to see what the appeal is for them to make so much money at the American box office (well besides The Hitcher and rightly so). It probably has something to do with the atrocious marketing campaigns, but they are by no means as fun as they fool the teen market into believing. 95 minutes feels like an eternity as there is no tension, atmosphere, creepiness and none of the 'frightened' teens have any redeeming qualities that audiences can relate or identify with. Nothing what they say, or how they look and interact with each other, is remotely believable or representative of how teenagers typical act within today's society.
Unsurprisingly, Jackie Earl Haley is the best thing in it and makes the film watchable. However, he is trying to make the best out of a bad situation. He delivers the appallingly written dialogue with charm as this Freddy has a velvety voice style of 'terror'. To a degree, he kind of makes Freddy very attractive as that voice is enough to make anyone feel simultaneously freaked out and aroused. This Kruger looks incredibly soft ass there was a hell of a lot more that the make up department could have done with his face, and because of this they have done themselves a lot of injustice by not taking advantage of the original Freddy and updating him accordingly.
As the film goes on, it becomes obvious that none of the cast and crew have their hearts into the film. Every scene feels as if they are waiting to get it over and done with and move onto the next one which results in the whole film feeling cold and distant. This has to be the end as no more re-imaginings are required, here's hoping that the planned The Birds remake continues to remain in development hell.
Review by Rebekah Smith
| Released by New Line |