DIARY OF A NYMPH COLLECTION

DIARY OF A NYMPH COLLECTION

Three lost artefacts from the golden era of early 70's pornography.

The first, DIARY OF A NYMPH, plays like a low-rent precursor to the celebrated Marilyn Chambers vehicle INSATIABLE.

Tracy (Susan Westcott) enjoys a bout of sex with her husband. Unfortunately he enjoys it a little too much and it's all over rather quickly (he cums inside her too, which you don't get to see that often in "rhythm" flicks). The husband rolls over and is asleep within seconds, leaving Tracy to masturbate herself to orgasm - the room glowing with violet hues as she goes about her merry fiddling.

Later in the day, with her husband at work, Tracy decides to take advantage of the sunny weather and sunbathes in her bikini in the back garden. As her mind wanders back to her early morning fiddle she becomes turned on again and starts caressing her knickers region. None of which goes unnoticed by her peeping tom neighbour.

The neighbour promptly calls round Tracy's house and forces himself upon her. Initially indisposed, she soon warms to the idea and starts to orally pleasure the sweaty brute. However, much to her dismay, he climaxes on her lips (it's nauseating seeing Westcott gag as she samples a taste of his cum).

Tracy berates the neighbour for his lack of stamina, which leads him to drag her up the stairs and give her a good seeing to. During which, Tracy has no qualms about giving her sweaty suitor's crack a good licking - but, curiously, won't let him take her up the backside.

The film continues along these lines, with Tracy being introduced to more sexual experiences while wishing her husband offered more. Come the conclusion, when he walks in on one of her escapades, he does indeed see the light and all's well that ends well.

NYMPH starts with interesting snapshot images during the title sequence, then quickly settles into grubby, pedestrian porno direction with minimally furnished rooms and flat dialogue linking its sex scenes together. Even these are ugly: the male actors are typically aggressive and Westcott, while an enthusiastic shag, seems at times repulsed by some of her pairings. Oh, and she's no Marilyn Chambers either. The interesting use of stock music is probably more notable than the flabby sex spectacles.

DIARY OF A BED follows, with an initially novel premise.

Following some neat animated opening credits (their simplicity recalls the drug-lazy sketchings of late 60's cartoons), we are introduced to the titular bed - an antique double bed positioned squarely in the centre of an otherwise bare bedroom. A couple of removal men bring a mattress into the room, prop it against a wall and leave. Then things get surreal as the bed begins to converse with the mattress, attempting to coerce it into lying on him.

Through echoey voice-over, the bed regales the mattress with stories of his illustrious past - or rather, some of the more outlandish fucks that have taken place on him over the years.

Naturally said tales are shown in graphic detail as the film progresses by way of a succession of unambitious vignettes.

The first episode is elevated from the norm a little by throwing some Victorian-style costumes into the mix. But once these are discarded it's down to business with more pasty white flesh and cellulite. The male in this particular scene may look a little over the hill, but gives Peter North a run for his money in the spurt-stakes.

Unfortunately, by this point BED has already become dull beyond belief. The next vignette does the film no favours, going on for an absolute age. By the end, who cares if this flat, lifeless excuse for uninspired bonking ends with the mattress and the bed coming together?

DIARY OF A BED - credited as being written and directed by an "L Wilson" - is the least interesting of the three films on offer.

DIARY OF A SCHIZO, on the other hand, is the film of most interest - not least of all because it stars sometime porn starlet Rene Bond (FANTASM; THE ADULT VERSION OF JECKYLL AND HYDE).

Bond stars as Sarah, a bored housewife who we first meet mid-fantasy. Her graphic dream is that she and her neighbour (Nina Fause, who also turns up in DIARY OF A BED) getting it on with an anonymous man. As the dream ends, we see Sarah bound by the routine of her humdrum real life. A doctor in a white coat appears to explain that Sarah is a schizophrenic struggling to wrestle with her inner alter-ego.

The doctor reappears occasionally, addressing the screen as action unfolds behind him, akin to the reporter who hampers the otherwise superlative DERANGED.

Doctor's observations aside, SCHIZO documents Sarah's increasing bouts of schizophrenia - which, of course, all manifest themselves in wanton sexual ways.

Our first experience of them is when Sarah suffers a crushing headache one evening, and can only shift it by applying a crude amount of blusher to her cheeks and sating her anxieties with a vibrator. Still aroused after this, Sarah races down the stairs and unzips her husband, treating him to an impromptu blowjob in the kitchen.

The husband accepts his treat, only questioning it after he's soiled Sarah's lips with cum. Suddenly his attitude changes, as he scolds her with pointed finger wagging in front of her face, yelling "What is happening to you?". The husband tells Sarah to sort her erratic behaviour out, and storms off.

But, as the intrusive doctor discloses, Sarah's alter-ego is gradually taking over and taking her to the point of no return. Which sees Sarah embark from one sexual jaunt to the next, taking in threesomes, lesbianism and more along the way.

SCHIZO benefits from some accomplished editing and camerawork, making this feel like more of an actual movie than the previous two. The acting, while not revelatory, is at least proficient, with Bond convincingly wanton as the off-the-rails Sarah.

In many photographs Bond appears to be blonde, but she's brunette in SCHIZO. I know this is her natural colour, but it works particularly well in accentuating her dowdy "normalness" during quieter scenes - making her transformation into rosy-cheeked rag-doll during the sex scenes all the more striking. It's an odd visual quirk that works for whatever reason.

This 2-disc set from After Hours presents all 3 films newly restored from original 16mm materials. As you can imagine, having languished "lost" in some basement for over 30 years, these prints are more than a little rough around the edges. Having said that, that's part of their charm.

All 3 films are presented uncut (or as uncut as they possibly could be - for instance, there's no closing credits on NYMPH ... but did they ever exist?), in their original full-frame ratios. Prints are scratchy as hell, but sharp and bright enough to enjoy. The grubbiness of their look is no reflection on the transfers themselves - After Hours have delivered solid presentations from coarse materials. Somehow, pristine prints would only kill the sleazy appeal these movies wallow in.

The English mono audio tracks for each film are reliable enough, if a little quiet at times. There's no major problems, such as excessive hissing or drop-out.

The main menu pages on each disc are entertainingly animated montages of hardcore footage from all 3 films - nice appetisers for what's in store.

There are no scene-selection menus on these discs, but you can navigate through each film using your remote control handset - NYMPH has 9 chapters, BED has 7 chapters and SCHIZO has 9 chapters.

The only extras on offer can be found on disc 2, along with SCHIZO. These consist of numerous trailers - 14 for Joe Sarno movies (including the likes BUTTERFLIES, VAMPIRE ECSTASY and INGA) and 11 advertising other After Hours releases (amongst which are SEXORCISM [the double-bill release of the excellent THE DEVIL INSIDE HER and SACRILEGE], GUNILLA and the various 42ND STREET PETE collections).

Finally, in the 2-disc keepcase packaging, there's a decent 8-page booklet offering graphic colour stills from each movie and reviews by "The After Hours Collector".

Rough, ragged and raw - this is porn well before the likes of Vivid made it boring with their silicon implants, shaven havens and airbrushing. Warts'n'all, the DIARY collection provides a great opportunity to catch some forgotten relics from underground cinema's most dubious era.

Have fun, though you may want to bathe afterwards ...

Review by Stu Willis


 
Released by After Hours Cinema
Region 1 - NTSC
Not Rated
Extras :
see main review
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