DON’T GO IN THE WOODS … ALONE!

(A.k.a. DON’T GO IN THE WOODS)

The onscreen title is DON'T GO IN THE WOODS.

A woman runs screaming through the woods, chased by an unseen assailant across a stream and rough terrain until she's caught up and falls in a pool of her own blood. A birdwatcher spies something peculiar through his binoculars - moments later, his arm has been hacked off and a machete blow has been delivered to his face.

Yes, it would seem casual campers and ramblers in the Utah mountains are being picked off in violent manner. Not that this has deterred seasoned trekker Craig (James P Hayden), moody Peter (Jack McClelland), and their partners Ingrid (Mary Gail Artz) and Joanie (Angie Brown) - short hair was clearly the in-thing for women in the early 1980s - from embarking into the mountains for a weekend adventure.

Inevitably, of course, they are going to run in to the disfigured maniac (Tom Drury) lurking in the bushes. But not before we're treated to several more cheap murders interspersed vignette-style between passages of our dull protagonists impersonating pieces of cardboard.

A nonsensical, clichéd script. Shoddy editing and continuity. Ugly camerawork which amazingly fails to adequately capture the beauty of the Utah scenery. Actors performing their lines as if prompted by a gun to their heads. No sense of pacing or suspense whatsoever. Special effects that you could better with nothing more than a portion of kebab meat and a bottle of ketchup. Crumbs, DON'T GO IN THE WOODS ... ALONE! is a terrible film.

Or is it? Well, technically, yes it certainly is. But, as is true of a lot of the old "video nasties", there's a charm to them - probably closely linked to be a long-term fan/collector - that renders their shortcomings as endearing. So Drury's manic over-performance actually becomes highly enjoyable, the witless young campers' exchanges are as amusing as they are asinine, and the primitive gore FX are as thrilling as anything this side of NIGHT OF THE DEMON. James C Wasson's DEMON, not Jacques Tourneur's ...

Lumbering along despite being peppered with regular, disembodied kills, the film certainly suffers as a result of its inexperienced crew and lack of budget. Newcomers will most likely hate it. Those of us who have grown fond of it through decades of familiarity will love it for all the same reasons the naysayers snub it.

An unlikely choice to be receiving the upgrade to High Definition, Bryan’s clunker has nevertheless now surfaced on blu-ray on both sides of the Atlantic: America has Vinegar Syndrome’s dual format release, while the UK gets a blu-ray courtesy of 88 Films. Both releases are region-free.

88 Films’ blu-ray was made available to us for review purposes, though I believe both releases utilise the same restoration.

A low budget quickie from 1981, it’s nigh-on miraculous to see the film looking as good as it does here. Bargain basement gore flicks of a bygone era shouldn’t look this good, surely?!

Opting for the original theatrical matte ratio of 1.66:1 and enhancing it for 16x9 televisions, DON’T is sourced uncut - 81 minutes 43 seconds - and uncensored, and from an extremely clean-looking print. Of course, there is very minor debris here and there, but nothing of significance. Compositions look accurate, despite the film being shot (and previously released) in 1.33:1. Daytime scenes are sharp and detailed; night-time sequences boast solid blacks and a pleasing absence of compression noise. This stunning all-new 2K transfer, overseen by Bryan, really is the best this film is ever likely to look.

English audio comes in a pleasing DTS-HD Master Audio mix. No concerns here: this proffers a reliable, consistent proposition from beginning to end.

Beyond the animated main menu page, pop-up menus include a scene selection option tendering access to DON’T via 12 chapters.

The two audio commentary tracks on offer have been available previously on DVD. They remain essential companions to the main feature. The first, from Bryan, is an honest and fluent account of micro-budget filmmaking. The second sees the director joined by Deron Miller and Artz, and carries more mirth. It’s also perhaps a little more open about the film’s shortcomings.

Also previously available is the brilliant hour-long Making Of documentary. Bryan directed this himself and it exhibits the same humour as his commentaries do, while taking time to offer interesting interviews with all of the film’s principal players.

A poster and production stills gallery is well-produced and certainly colourful enough to keep you involved throughout.

Three short archival TV promotional appearances (14 minutes total, including Bryan's introduction) show Bryan and Tom Drury touting the film.

The film’s original trailer is also on hand, as are the usual plethora of trailers for other 88 Films titles: PUPPET MASTER, TOURIST TRAP, CASTLE FREAK etc.

This release also comes with double-sided cover artwork (I believe the reverse is the same iconic art, albeit without the intrusive "Slasher Classics Collection" logos) and a booklet containing an interview with Bryan. This wasn’t available to review.

While not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, there is a naïve charm to DON’T that almost makes it work. Of course, it’s its heritage as a former video nasty that’s going to sell this one. And, from a historical point of view if nothing else, it’s great to see 88 Films releasing it uncut in the UK on a beautiful-looking special edition blu-ray.

Review by Stuart Willis