DEMON SEX

Right! Let's get this straight. If you want to make a horror film, then don't pad it out with non-stop scenes of copulation. And if you're trying to make a porn-film, then trying to include the flimsiest of plots about a demon alien race, bonking people to death, is going to alienate your core audience. Either way, anyone who buys this film, is going to be bitterly disappointed. For horror fans, you've seen this kind of crap before. For the porn lovers, are they really going to want to see scenes of fake blood, shoddy CGI, and dodgy demon masks? Probably not!

"Demon Sex" is another direct-to-DVD shocker, from Video Outlaw / Alternative Cinema. It's another movie, with an alien-invasion plot, where the aliens are mainly semi-glamorous porno actresses looking to inseminate male trailer park trash, in order to spawn new alien-human hybrids. It's another crap attempt at mixing the sc-fi/horror genre, with the porn film. And it's fucking awful!!

I don't know why, but in the 1980's and '90's, movies that went straight-to-video where frequently known for their no-name cast list, they're lack of plots, and the general naffness of the whole affair. They were known as films that should - in general - be avoided by video renters. With the advent of DVD, we now have the same kind of thing, but on a shiny, silver platter, and yet, it's the same old shit that's turning up, just with slightly better picture quality…

… Actually, I take that back! The picture quality hasn't improved, at least not as far as this movie goes. Has no one learned from the problems with direct-to-video films? We didn't want them then, and we don't want them now!

So why do US studios think that DVD fans, are going to want to shell-out the best part of £20 for titles that wouldn't ever have seen the light of day on VHS, and yet have all the same qualities as VHS porn movies?! "Demon Sex" has some of the worst picture quality problems I've seen. It's full of grain, video flicker, and unstable colour. I suspect that that's because it's been transferred from a VHS master tape. The sound is also dire, because it's been recorded so horrendously badly, that you can't hear what's being said. If you turn the volume up, you just get extremely high amounts of hiss! Thanks, Video Outlaw!

I know I tend to slate many of these direct-to-DVD releases, but horror fans seem to get constantly dealt a bad hand. Producers of films seem to think that we will buy and watch any old junk, as long as there's some gore in it. No, no, no! We won't!

"Demon Sex" fails on every practical level possible. It starts badly, with a three or four minute narration, about aliens taking over Earth, and colonising human men for reproductive purposes, over which, the camera follows bad paintings of alien invaders, spaceships, and other scene-setting material. Not the greatest way to start a film, in my opinion. Then we get to the story, or what resembles remnants of a story. The problem, though, is that it's 80 minutes of the worst acting I've witnessed. Even "Neeighbours" wouldn't have hired any of these stars!

The gore is generous, but is comprised mainly of effects that anyone could easily create in their own kitchen. There's a never-ending amount of nudity. Girl-and-guy. Girl-on-girl. Girl-and-sex toy. Sex, sex, sex, and yet more sex. I'm not offended by sex or nudity, but for crying out loud, if I wanted to watch a porn movie, then I'd buy one. If you're a fan of Brinke Stevens, or Misty Mundae, then you're likely to be the kind of person who'll buy all of their output, irrespective of the quality of it. You're also likely to be the same person who watches porn anyway. But for everyone else, especially horror movie fans at who this movie is not especially aimed at, this is just another in a long, long line of lame-arsed productions from people who should never have been allowed to get within a hundred miles of a screenplay.

Despite being described on the back cover as an "ultra-naughty, ultra-erotic sci-fi epic", this is about as erotic is twenty-year-old kitchen linoleum, and the sci-fi element is limited to this story being set somewhere in the future. As for horror, forget it! There's no horror in the entire movie. As far as I can tell, the only horrific thing about this disc, is the fact that someone thought they could con sensible horror movie fans into buying this.

This film is shit! The disc is shit! There's not a single, redeeming factor about it, and Video Outlaw deserve to have this title shoved somewhere dark and smelly! And I'm not talking about the dustbin!

Review by "Pooch".