DING DONG DEAD

I wasn’t always an angel you know. Back in my tear away youth I did, every now and then, indulge in a game called ‘Knock Down Ginger’. For the less enlightened among you, the object of the game was to ring a strangers doorbell and then scarper before they could answer it. (The title of the game derived from having to choose doors painted ‘orange’. This was the 1970’s after all!!)

To us it was a bit of fun – to the ‘victims’ it was obviously not. I have never pondered why they would get so irate until reliving my youthful summer holidays with Creep Creepersin’s entry into the little known "Doorbell Horror" subgenre. Get comfy and settle in for DING DONG DEAD!

Dougy is a pitiful soul in his 30’s. He skives off work, he gets sacked, he calls his mom for money – but he doesn’t have the balls to even do that. In between half-hearted attempts at finding employment on the internet he does what any self-respecting layabout would do – he pervs over his sexy neighbour Claudia (Elina Madison) as she waters her lawn! One particular drool-fest leads him to water his own lawn to get a better look and take his unhealthy fantasy to the next level. Unexpectedly they strike up a conversation and the small matter of "strange noises" heard during the night is brought up. At least it gives the unemployed waster an ego boost when the widowed Claudia asks him to keep an eye out for her.

But when you are on a bad run of luck NOTHING seems to go right. When a late night car journey back to his apartment is hampered by a gang of 10 or so females dressed in black sauntering in the middle of the road, Doug’s paranoia leads him to call the cops. He waits a couple for hours for a response and eventually his doorbell rings. But there is no cop - in fact, there is no one at all. It appears Doug has been the victim of a cruel mischievous prank called Ding Dong Ditch. (At least the American name of the game actually makes sense!!)

You see, Ding Dong Ditch is the gang’s speciality and as such have named their mob The DD GANG. There is… (wait for it) DD Diva; DD Dahlia; DD Darcy; DD Darby; DD Dani; DD Darla; DD Daisey; DD Dora; DD Dana; and finally DD Dee Dee! The girls are rather offended that Dougy should call the law so decide to embark upon a relentless crusade of ‘petty mischief’ to get back at our hapless hero.

The shenanigans flow thick and fast and feature all the classics; silly string, thrown eggs and the heavyweight champion of practical jokes, water spray. It proves too much for Dougy who decides to plot his revenge with a play a game of his own – DING DONG DEAD!!!

By director Creep Creepersin’s own admission, DDD is a very silly movie. However, what it lacks in gore it makes up for with 10 beauties getting up to high jinx in some delicious Goth Chick attire! The gang of girls is made up of B-Movie actresses. Some you may have heard of some you may not. For example, Megan Frances who plays DD Dana featured in SILENT NIGHT ZOMBIE NIGHT where she was credited as "the screaming wife"... Remember?!?

As great as the ladies are to watch, the real star of the show is Dougy, played by Luke Y Thompson. LYT’s portrayal of a slob ready to implode is great fun, so much so I even felt a little empathy for the poor guy at times! Apparently porn super stud Ron Jeremy was being considered for the role at one point which would have been interesting to say the least, but personally I think Thompson was the better choice.

Mr Creepersin also made a great decision when he decided against padding out the 67 minute run time. Watching the movie is kind of like pulling hairs from your nostrils: You know its going to be painful but at least it is over quickly!!

The movie loses points for the rather annoying soundtrack that is looped once or twice too often. Don’t do what I did and watch the movie before going to bed as the simple jingle will be on rotation in your brain upon waking!

Overall DDD is a little bit of harmless fun that, although rather daft, is actually quite entertaining with an unexpected ending. With two separate commentary tracks included, one solely with Creepersin, the other with the leading man joining the director, it means that, even though the movie has a diminutive run time, the disc itself has over 220 minutes entertainment.

On that note I got to go. I think there is somebody at the front door...

Review by Marc Lissenburg