KINKY CANNIBAL DOUBLE FEATURE: CANNIBAL DOCTOR/DINNER FOR TWO

This is a curious 2-disc offering from Alternative Cinema: two films directed by Bill Hellfire (I WAS A TEENAGE STRANGLER), under his Factory 2000 banner, made specifically for the notorious WAVE Productions.

WAVE make "custom" films, which means a person can contact them and tell them what type of film they want to see made and, if they can stump up some kind of budget, the films will get made to that financier's specifications. In this case, someone contacted WAVE requesting a fetish film about cannibalism (CANNIBAL DOCTOR) - then asked them to effectively remake it shortly afterwards, paying more attention to particular details (DINNER FOR TWO).

The budgets graced upon these films were negligible - approximately $800 per project. This is reflected in the shot-on-video visuals, single location setting and minimal casting in both films: indeed, each film took little over 6 hours to shoot.

Disc 1 offers CANNIBAL DOCTOR. The film opens with Ben (Bill Hellfire) playing in his office with toys. His wife Margaret (Tina Krause, BLOOD AND SEX NIGHTMARE; NIKOS THE IMPALER) enters and immediately nags at him to get working. She asks if he's forgotten about preparing for a ceremony - he says he hasn't forgotten and that everything is organised.

Cue the pretty young Michelle (Misty Mundae, SPLATTER BEACH; THE RAGE; CHANTAL), who knocks at their front door. Margaret answers the door and grumpily lets Michelle in.

Margaret's attitude changes for the better when she realises her husband, who introduces himself to the young girl as Dr Orange, is to interview Michelle for the position of secretary.

While Ben takes down Michelle's details, Margaret eyes her up and down, admiring her youthful curves. Ben asks Margaret to leave him alone with Michelle while he interviews her, then tells the young interviewee that all applicants must undertake an examination to ensure their good health.

Ben leads Michelle into the "examination office" and starts his tests. These involve listening to her heartbeat, making her stretch in various directions, weighing her and clumsily checking her blood pressure (is he a real doctor at all? Unfortunately it's a possible sub-plot that's never explored). Oh, he also gropes Michelle a lot - legs, arms, stomach, back: he seems to be obsessed with her unblemished flesh.

Amazingly, and despite her deeply concerned visage, Michelle never questions Ben's motions - until he sticks a dirty great syringe into her shoulder. Suddenly she wants to go home.

But it's too late. Michelle is stripped, fondled some more, redressed then led into another room where Margaret strips her again for more fondling ... while whistling.

CANNIBAL DOCTOR is very slow in pace, despite only being 65 minutes in length. It's clearly been made very specifically to the needs of it's financier, and as a result is likely to bore anyone who doesn't share his fetish for lots of lingering gropes of scantily clad flesh. Indeed, were it not for it's title, you'd have to wait almost 50 minutes into proceedings before learning that Ben is to cook Michelle so Margaret can eat her, thus retaining her youth through her victim's virginal beauty.

For people looking for sleaze, it may be a disappointment to learn that there's no sex and relatively little nudity. For those looking for gore, there is absolutely none whatsoever. This is titillation for people who like to see the slow build-up to the event - Margaret and Ben drooling over the flesh they will soon devour. The actual act of cannibalism is never shown.

Shot on video, the film looks rather flat and comes across as goofy in it's opening and closing scenes (which see the film come around full circle, after a witty nod to THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS). It does however manage to disturb during the middle bulk of the film, with Hellfire's camera loitering lecherously over Mundae while sinister synths hammer home the wrongness of it all. It's interesting to note that Hellfire was Mundae's beau at the time.

Mundae looks good in the film: milky white flesh, innocent smile and still carrying the puppy fat of her late teen years. Krause is hot too, but her character's persona is so unlikeable that it's hard to be concerned that we see very little of her skin-wise.

The film is presented uncut in it's original 1.33:1 aspect ratio and looks very good. This is a strong transfer from the original 1/2" video masters, with solid colours and tones, and sharp detail.

The English mono audio is clear and consistent throughout, with no hiss. The video does pick up a lot of natural noise unfortunately, but it's not a major distraction.

Although there's no scene-selection menu, the film can be raced through via your remote control handset by way of 18 chapters.

The only extras on disc 1 are trailers for 10 titles, including this double bill and VAMPIRE STRANGLER.

Disc 2 gives us DINNER FOR TWO, which is essentially a remake of CANNIBAL DOCTOR that focuses more on nudity and horror. But, before you get too excited, it's still pretty tame fare.

This time around, things get interesting much quicker as the film opens with April (Mundae) awaking naked and tied to the doctor's bed. Meanwhile, in the next office, Ben (Hellfire) and Margaret (Krause) are rifling through April's bag for telephone numbers of friends. This time around, it transpires that both of them want to feast on flesh and April's not big enough to satisfy them both. They're in luck: they discover April has a twin sister, May.

Ben foils April's escape attempt and ties her back down to her bed. Initially she refuses to ring May as requested, but relents when Margaret tortures her by tickling her with feathers. April duly calls May and tells her there's a secretary job going at Dr Orange's office.

Before long, May turns up and she goes through a virtually identical interview and examination to that which Michelle endures in CANNIBAL DOCTOR. Minor elements have been altered, presumably at the financier's request (May wears knee-length schoolgirl-type socks; there's more emphasis on full-frontal nudity).

DINNER FOR TWO not only has more female flesh on show (don't worry, Hellfire keeps his kit on in both films), but also has a few more kinky moments than the extremely meek DOCTOR: Margaret licking whipped cream off May's breasts, May being slowly basted in cooking oil etc.

Thematically it also has a little more to say than DOCTOR which Hellfire has admitted was basically improvised, running through a checklist of things he'd been asked to include in the film.

In DINNER there's the plot of the twins, which doesn't really go anywhere but shows a little thought has gone into proceedings and offers more of Mundae, which is a good thing. There's also an added element of voyeurism as Ben watches Margaret fondle May, and fantasises that it is he who is fondling Margaret. Which means we get to see more of Krause naked too. Which is also a good thing.

DINNER is darker in tone than DOCTOR too, with Mundae upping the ante in the scream stakes. As a result, the early escape attempt is quite unsettling in its slow-motion execution and the later cooking scenes - while not in the least bit graphic - are claustrophobic and haunting.

Mundae's performance in both films is good (better in DINNER), whereas Krause and Hellfire try but don't quite get there. It makes for an uneven tone in both events.

As with it's predecessor, DINNER FOR TWO is presented uncut in it's original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Again, the transfer is very good.

The English mono audio track is another fine, problem-free offering.

As is the norm on Alternative Cinema discs, there is no scene-selection menu but the film does possess 15 chapters.

The only extras on disc 2 are trailers for a further 13 titles.

Accompanying the two discs is a great 16-page glossy booklet with excellent liner notes from Ed Grant (is he still rocking down to Electric Avenue, I wonder?!). He offers good insight into the genesis of both films, including quotes from Hellfire and producer Gary Whitson along the way. The book also contains some lovely colour photos of Mundae naked and archive interviews with both her and Krause.

It's also worth noting that, as with a few Alternative Cinema releases, the cover on the keepcase is different - and far more risqué - than the one that graces the slipcase outer cover (shown above). The keepcase cover has a photograph of Mundae lifting a shiny dress up to reveal her naked bush. It's possibly the best picture of her I've ever seen, seriously sexy.

CANNIBAL DOCTOR and DINNER FOR TWO may not appeal to everyone's tastes, and may fall short of what the cover promises for most. But they're interesting enough to stick with, and are undeniably disturbing when you consider that a fan was actually so in to this bizarre stuff that he paid to get these films made to his specifications. Weird.

As always, Alternative Cinema have given both films a really nice package. And when you're getting three Misty Mundaes for the price of a single DVD - well, it's hard to complain …

Review by Stuart Willis