THE BREASTFORD WIVES

The Breastford Wives is the latest contemporary sexploitation feature released by Secret Key Motion Pictures in their ongoing pursuit of titillating the softcore porn addict. As with Taylor Wane's Erotic Games and Babes in Kongland, The Breastford Wives is the perfect adult film to watch on a night of kinky sexploitation viewing. However, you might want to grab a good hold of your genitals when watching this one; that voluptuous British beauty makes an appearance once again! Her name is Taylor Wane - one of the finest sex performers in the hardcore adult film industry.

While seemingly advertised as a spoof on the recent remake of The Stepford Wives, The Breastford Wives initially appeared to be nothing more than a shabby excuse to shoot naked bodies fondling each other for our deprived delectation. On the contrary, The Breastford Wives was a glossy sexploitation picture with decent acting by the female cast and ingenious direction by H. R. Blueberry - the guy who brought us the Busty Cops, Lust Connection, The Witches of Breastwick, Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade, Cheerleader Massacre, and The Bare Wench Project. If you like your sexploitation pictures crammed to the rafters with busty women juggling their assets and massaging their curvaceous butts, H. R. Blueberry is the director to look out for.

The synopsis of The Breastford Wives revolves around a happily married couple (Rob and Laura) who move to a new neighbourhood amid the idyllic hills of sunny California. Judging by the sweaty romp in the arid woods after checking out their new backyard, it appears that this infatuated couple have a satisfactory sex life guaranteed to disturb the new neighbours. Nevertheless, this does not stop the handsome husband from romping with the local women under the pretext of chatting with the community. Either this man is someone who cannot keep his trouser-snake zipped up, or the women of this fabled town are uncontrollable sex maniacs aching to devour anything that moves. Laura, too, has her moments of overwhelming lust. When her husband is no longer around she partakes in a number of titillating orgies with a variety of big-breasted women.

There is no question that this is an extreme way of living, especially when you consider that both Rob and Laura attempt to keep their illicit shenanigans a forbidden secret. Even more bizarre, however, are the bottles of red wine that turn up whenever the sexy blonde neighbours want to seduce the happily married couple. Things turn even more bizarre when Rob discovers a previous occupier of the house (Monique Parent) rummaging through the living room in the middle of the night. She warns him to leave the town immediately, telling him that the women of Breastford are under some sort of mind control. At the push of a button, the women became shameless sex slaves. As expected, Rob dismisses this absurd story in spite of the nymphomaniac tendencies of the women of Breastford. However, this story does not stop him from having sex with this redheaded babe while his wife remains upstairs sleeping!

The heartless man at the centre of controlling these ravenous women is Doc Brady (Frank Harper), the mayor of Breastford. Doc Brady has deliberately devised a clever gadget in which the women of Breastford can be transformed into luscious sex slaves within the blink of an eye. Under his wicked command are three leading members of the Breastford Women's Association - Jackie Slade (Taylor Wane), Torrie Miller (Barbie Bennett) and Marla (Sara Maglaughlin). These three women are voluptuous beauties with golden blonde hair and enormous breasts that are impossible to keep covered! Working meticulously together, these three sirens endeavour to lure Laura away from the virtue of marriage and into the hands of Doc Brady. Rob soon realizes that there is something dreadfully wrong with the women of Breastford, but by then it is too late…Laura suddenly disappears.

The acting in The Breastford Wives is what you would expect from a contemporary sexploitation picture. It may not be award winning stuff, but it's not exactly wooden either. Taylor Wane needs no introduction if you like your modern hardcore adult films. Her status as one of America's leading adult performers is a testament to her exceptional intelligence of anything sexual. If you don't believe me, purchase Erotic Games. Another adult film performer making an appearance in The Breastford Wives is sex bombshell, Linda Friday. This striking blonde goddess has appeared in numerous gonzo films over the years, including Filthy Little Cocksuckers (2002), Blow Me Sandwich 2 (2003), Cum Stains 3 (2004), MILF P.O.V. 2 (2005), The Lusty Busty Pussy Patrol (2006) and Rich Ass MILFs (2007). Her two softcore sex performances in The Breastford Wives are not only energetic but amply illustrate her experience in the hardcore adult film industry. The performance of Glori-Anne Gilbert as the dark-haired wife seduced by the members of the Breastford Women's Association is performed to absolute perfection. Other sexploitation pictures to her credit include Vampire Call Girls (1998), Blood Sisters: Vamps 2 (2002), Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood (2004), Lust Connection (2005) and Busty Cops 2 (2006). The only other film that I know of which Barbie Bennett makes an appearance in is Zdenka and Friends (2005). In this film, she poses nude with seven other women in various vignettes.

The Breastford Wives is no full-throttle thriller, but neither is it a bad attempt at being one when you consider the target audience primarily being the contemporary sexploitation crowd. With a number of jaw-dropping women exposing their delectable flesh and grinding themselves against each other in orgasmic delight, The Breastford Wives is sure to put a tingle in that very-much neglected wingle of yours. However, what makes The Breastford Wives a cracking piece of sexploitation cinema is the older look of all but one of the female cast members. The only very young woman to appear in The Breastford Wives is Sara Maglaughlin at the tender age of twenty-three. All the other women appear to be in their early to late thirties. Taylor Wane will be thirty-nine years old in August 2007; Monique Parent will be forty-two years old in November 2007; Linda Friday will be thirty-six in July 2007; and Glori-Anne Gilbert will be thirty-eight in July 2007. If you like older women, The Breastford Wives is the film for you.

The sex scenes are great; they go way beyond the repetitious tittyfest found in other softcore adult films. Nothing here can stop the rampant women from having rowdy sex all over the place! If it's not in the Californian woods, it's in the Jacuzzi; if it's not in the bathtub, it's in the bed; if it's not in the gym, it's on the living room floor. The sex ranges from the energetic to the slow and sensual. Personally, I preferred the slow and sensual. I'm sure you will too when you see Glori-Anne Gilbert and Barbie Bennett massaging soap bubbles over each other. If so, prepare for an instant boner!

The picture quality of the film is bright and clear throughout, although you might want to wear a pair of sunglasses during the outdoor scenes. The texture here at times appeared too bright, but I suppose that's the Californian sun for you. The film is presented in an aspect ratio of 1:78:1 anamorphic widescreen along with an English Dolby Digital Stereo track. The sound quality could not have been better.

As with most other Secret Key Motion Pictures releases, we are treated to the trademark seven trailers and a variety of naked women performing in a number of erotic loops. The trailers are Sensual Incantations, Topless Tapioca Wrestling (featuring the face of Seduction Cinema, Darian Caine), Forbidden Desires, Taylor Wane's Erotic Games, Softcore Divas, The Breastford Wives, and The House on Hooter Hill. The two loops - Plaything and Heavenly Bodies - portray a number of authentic-looking women posing in various states of undress. Unlike the silicone-enhanced breasts of today, these women have entirely natural breasts and are not ashamed to reveal their fuller figure. These loops were categorically deemed immoral back in the day, whereas today they will be regarded by some as nothing but tedious nudity. However, these splendid black-and-white loops have rightfully earned their place as an innovative branch of sexploitation cinema. These two loops should be included on the forthcoming release of Naughty Nudes of the 50s.

Overall, The Breastford Wives is definitely worth a look for fans of sexploitation cinema. The erotic sex is accompanied with a decent attempt at conveying a story, and the finishing result is a sex picture with quality written all over it. H. R. Blueberry and Taylor Wane have struck gold with this one! The Breastford Wives is one of the finest displays of big boobs I have ever seen! 10/10!

Reviewed by Pryce