BIG BOOBS, BLONDE BABES, BAD BLOOD

Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood is an impressive two-hour collection of short films directed by Danielle Morgan and the inimitable Shane Ryan - the man who brought us the disturbing "Amateur Porn Star Killer." What we have here is an assortment of films pertaining to many different genres of film, ranging from blood-dripping violence to contemporary exploitation, from hilarious comedy to the extraordinarily surreal. The length of the films, like the genres they belong to, also vary. Whilst some films included are only one minute in length, other films are up to a whopping fifteen minutes in length. Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood is a mind-boggling mixed bag of short films that I can guarantee there is something here for everyone.

Shane Ryan, being the most prominent director in this collection, is a man adept a producing some amazing cinematic tales. His cinematic style and rather morbid imagination holds the capacity of piercing your flesh and coiling your nerves. While not all the shorts included are of the blood-and-guts and horror variety, there are some films here that will genuinely evoke emotional sentiment and general sadness. Some films, especially the exceptional "Isolation," are quite tragic. Although Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood may have principally relied on its naked boobies and gory promises as an integral part of persuading some people into purchasing it, the occasional attempt by Shane Ryan at serious film-making endows this collection with cinematic status not found in many other collection of short films. In this collection of short films, we see a film director who refuses to shy away from reprehensible material. Shane Ryan brings shame to other contemporary underground film directors by not being afraid to film what he wants and not caring who he offends in the process. Even his hometown refuses to completely acknowledge him. Now that we have the perfect incentive to purchase this collection of malicious shorts, let's delve a little deeper into the films and see what we have waiting to corrupt our moral mentality. It's an enjoyable ride and one which I'm sure you'll enjoy!

The very first film we are blasted with is a miniature feature called "Lucifer's Mind." The film itself has no plot and appears to be nothing more than a naked woman smearing herself with blood in a spasm of speeded-up shots…the end. If you're fond rock music you'll love this short.

The next film, however, is little more interesting. The film is called "Poison Cure" and features Shane Ryan vomiting in a bathroom. His girlfriend is with him and she proceeds to drag him into the shower in an attempt to stop him from falling increasingly further into a deep stupor. She therefore turns on the cold water to stop him from passing out. She then climbs into the shower and consoles him with gentle caresses. Poison Cure doesn't have much of a plot, but it's still a captivating little film when considering the diversity Shane Ryan is capable of filming. Very touching.

Now that we have the first two films out of the way, which has hopefully given you an idea of what type of diversity you can expect, I don't believe it would be wise in me narrating you through the entire collection films because there are too many to delve into. Instead, I will probe into the ones I would consider the standouts and provide my thoughts regarding the films I have listed.

"Sane: The Story of the Boredom Killings" is a smacking feature about two deviant teenagers who decide to relieve their boredom by killing people and videotaping it. They film themselves murdering and beating a teenager in a park and even escort us on their brutal murder of an unfortunate woman inside her own apartment. The film is quite disturbing and even comes with a warning beforehand to forewarn easily shocked viewers of graphic content. The sound effects during the rape scene are quite harrowing to hear; it sounds like wailing demons from the pit of hell. Shocking stuff! "Sane: The Story of the Boredom Killings" is the perfect short for both the horror film fan and the person who simply wishes to watch from a safe distance the macabre intentions of psychopathic teenagers.

"So, we killed our Parents" is another bad blood feature that is sheer in-your-face violence with a comedic ingredient inserted for your perverse viewing pleasure. Shane Ryan stars in the film and plays the role of a son, Donnie, who is having an incestuous relationship with his sister, Denise. Their tyrannical father, played by brutish Rex Cobalt in a hilarious role, enjoys nothing more than dispensing physical abuse to his young son and daughter. One day, after having enough of the unremitting abuse and forced sex, Donnie and Denise both decide to murder their parents by hammering them with a couple of baseball bats. Blood and screams ensue, and Donnie and Denise then consecrate their newly found freedom by romping each other hard and heavy, covered in blood no less, on the floor and in the shower. Shane Ryan exposes his cinematic talent in this film by expertly combining slow, regular shots with quick cutting and fast action filming. What we are left with is a decent short film that is both funny and enjoyable. "So, we killed our Parents" is a film that has received many critically acclaimed reviews at various film festivals.

"Isolation" is a 15-minute emotional short that features Shane Ryan playing the role of a 16-year-old boy who feels depressed over the loss of his mother. The film is filmed in both black-and-white and colour; both used to full affect in conveying the terrible sadness of a teenage boy. With haunting scenery and experimental camera shots, "Isolation" could perhaps be regarded as the most cinematic film throughout the entire collection, and one with a lasting impression. Brutish Rex Cobalt performs the role of the father once again, but his character isn't of the brutality found in "So, we killed our Parents."

"Little Guy Kicks Ass" brings a whole new meaning to the David and Goliath legend and the fighting proficiency of Bruce Lee. What we have here is hilarious comedy about Shane Ryan taking on his bigger brother, William, in a martial arts fight. The film is genuinely funny and provides a much-needed relief after some of the more serious cinematic attempts sporadically populated throughout this collection.

"Cold Heat" is a film that's almost like a sequel to Shane Ryan's "Amateur Porn Star Killer." The film is rather nightmarish and eerie, and is about cold and dejected sex. Once again, Shane Ryan makes an appearance and this time it is with Michiko Jimenez - the female victim from the unforgettable "Amateur Porn Star Killer." The black-and-white quality of the feature endows "Cold Heat" with some eerily memorable scenes that are reminiscent of Eraserhead.

"Yesterday" is another hard-hitting short that's quite striking given the short timeframe both Shane Ryan and Kyriaco had in filming it (Poison Cure was also filmed on the same day!). "Yesterday" is a touching film about domestic violence and murder. Shane Ryan exposes his endowed talent of experimental direction by filming the intimate and cuddly scenes between the couple with an allegory silence, and then editing the scenes of domestic abuse with various slow and fast-paced editing. The ending puts the whole film in perspective.

These are just some of the films that evidently stand out among this vast collection of experimental material. There are many other films here that probably deserve a detailed mention; but as many are less than 5 minutes in length, I would actually be detailing an innumerable amount of spoilers if I were to detail them, but hopefully you have a palpable idea of what type of films you can expect. Shane Ryan is a man who has wealth of ideas in his imagination and he is one filmmaker viewers should be keeping an eye on.

The best thing about Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood is not the spacious diversity of films we have on display for us, but the revealing interviews with Shane Ryan himself that occur before every film. This is what I really like about Shane; his commentaries to each film are the undisputed highlights of Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood. Therefore, Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood could easily be regarded as an in-depth documentary about a talented filmmaker and his enormously gifted imagination. The behind-the-scenes feature of "So, we killed our Parents" is worth the price of the video alone.

I don't really have anything critical to say about Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood. Every film we are shown is either incredibly entertaining or unbelievably surreal. Although, some might criticise the hostess segments before every feature or Shane Ryan interviews - I, on the other hand, thought these scenes were a wonderful inclusion that actually granted Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood with sleazy comedy. Who on earth wouldn't want to watch a blonde babe slowly taking her clothes off before each feature? You get some bad blood, some big boobs, and some delicious blonde babes. What more could you ask for?

Unfortunately, at this moment in time (as of December 2006), Alter Ego Cinema is searching for a distributor to release future DVD versions of their films. Until a distributor owns up and verifies an interest in releasing DVDs of Alter Ego Cinema's film catalogue, Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood will only be available as a screener. I was sent this as an NTSC video screener for the purpose of this review. But when the day comes of an official DVD release of Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood, I shall revisit the film and let you know of any DVD extras that might be provided

Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood is a splendid collection of short films that should tickle the feet of people who crave to watch some decent exploitation, bloody violence, hilarious comedy, and experimental material expunged from the underground. 9/10

Stay sick and happy nightmares!

Reviewed by Pryce