The Boneyard

"The Boneyard" is a film I had been hearing about for years, but never got up the desire to buy or even rent. You see, on the Jonathon Brandmeier Radio Show-Gram the news man extrodinaire Buzz Kilman has been singing this films praises forever. It's one of his favorite films. But hearing the three things connected to this film always turned me off: zombies, Phyllis Diller monster and poodle from Hell. You see, I hate joke Horror films. The only two that I have ever liked are "Return Of The Living Dead" and a film whose title is "There's Nothing Out There", if I remember right. Track the latter down and tell me how original "Scream" really was. So I really wasn't interested in this film.

The other day though, I watched this film. And the thing took me by surprise.

The plot is as follows: The corpses of three children are found. The person who buried them claimed he was feeding them human remains from the morgue he worked at as a mortician. He then claimed to have three ghouls locked in his store room still.

A rough and ragged cop named Jersey Callum (a very good Ed Nelson), along with his new partner Gordon Mullin (James Eustermann) go to ask the aid of a depressed and disturbed psychic named Alley Oates (played very nicely by Deborah Rose). She hesitates, but after a nightmare she decides to join in.

They are lead to the morgue to view the bodies of the three children. Once there they meet the loud, rude and just all around nasty Miss Poopinplatz (played to the hilt by Phyllis Diller), the night clerk, and her nasty poodle Floosam. From there they go to view the bodies of the three children. The coroner they meet with (through TV monitors) is named Shepard and played by the late Norman Fell.

I could go on and on with the plot movements. It has a nice way of moving.

We eventually end up in the morgue and the ghouls make an appearance. And what an appearance it is. These three little critters are brilliantly executed. Some of the best zombie creations you will ever see. Nasty, stinky and disturbing to look at.

The movie takes some time to get us into the action, but it has a good enough script and likable enough characters to keep us interested. Plus the script works well in its way of un-folding layer by layer until we get to the gift that is the monster attacks. Plus the writer/director James Cummins thought enough about plot holes to answer them in the movie. The mortician who fed the kids and buried them fills those up in a video confession. This is a well thought out movie.

The tension that comes in the movie is very well staged. With a very nice homage to "Alien" in a scene with Phyllis Diller.

The DVD is full of extras. Some are for a standard DVD player, and the rest are for a DVD-Rom drive. The company, Program Power Entertainment, calls it a Horror-Hybrid. It is a Horror for those who don't have the ability to get to a DVD-Rom player since all of the extras are drool worthy.

First up is the commentary: Very well done with both writer/director Cummins and producer Richard F. Brophy. Both men are obviously friends along with business associates. They go over all the aspects of the making of the film. We get actor tales, behind-the-scenes tales, weather tales, you name it. There are a few gaps, but the men still keep it going whenever they can. I would bet this is the first commentary track for these two, but they do it very well.

Next we get three interviews. They are with Phyllis Diller, James Cummins and finally with Richard F. Brophy. These are three of the most enjoyable and respectful interviews I have ever seen. The one with Phyllis Diller is handled in the way of the interviewer knowing they have a legend on their hands and they needed to get stories from her. She re-counts enough of the film to make the fans of the movie happy, but then the interviewer gets her to talk about her life and history. The respect paid to her pays off with a great interview. This movie, she also tells us, is the only way you will ever get to see her with her real hair! No wigs in this movie!

The interview with James Cummins is also a very well done interview. He gives us a detailed explanation of his first meeting with Miss Diller and explains how they got her to do the film without a wig. Then he goes on with the details of the movie and then his past with FX. Plus he names the films that have influenced him.

The final interview is with the producer Richard Brophy. This interview needs to be given to every beginning film maker. Mr. Brophy goes into extreme detail about how to make a movie that this has to be invaluable info to the beginner. Very well done in all respects.

We get a trailer also. DO NOT WATCH THIS BEFORE THE MOVIE!!! The trailer gives everything away, even the ending! Plus it seems to run for about 2 minutes.

Next up is a photo gallery of "behind-the-scenes" types of pictures. All of them very nice. Plus more exist on the DVD-Rom part of the disc.

All in all this is a very good presentation of this little seen film. Power Program Entertainment is another company who is interested in giving the fans what they want. Here we get a very nice looking presentation of the film with a huge chunk of extras. The movie itself is along the lines of "Braindead" AKA. "Dead-Alive", just without the over-the-top gore. But the feel is the same. Put it up there with that and "Return Of The Living Dead" and the other Horror films with a sense of humor. The ones that work that is.