BLACK CHRISTMAS

(a.k.a. BLACK X-MAS; NOEL NOIR)

Claire (Leela Savasta) sits in her sorority house bedroom one evening, writing out a Christmas card to her sister. She doesn't get to finish writing her message, because some sod who's been hiding in her room throws a plastic bag over her head and kills her.

Meanwhile at the nearby Clark sanatorium, we learn from a jaded guard that notorious psycho Billy Lenz (Robert Mann) - he massacred his entire family one Christmas day - is held there, insistent every Christmas that he is going to escape and return home. Moments later, he does just this when he outwits the guard and murders him.

Back at the sorority house, a group of unlikeable teenaged girls who have stayed over for the festive season - including Megan (Jessica Harmon), Heather (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Lauren (Crystal Lowe), Melissa (Michelle Trachtenberg), Dana (Lacey Chabert), their keeper Ms Mac (Andrea Martin) and Claire, who no-one's seen all night but they don't seem to concerned with that - get into the spirit by preparing to exchange gifts.

Megan wanders into the attic at one point to investigate strange noises and discovers Claire's corpse sat in a rocking chair. Before she can raise the alarm she's stabbed to death and her eye is torn out - that should keep her quiet. The other girls, oblivious to this, continue to drink downstairs while Ms Mac tells them about a local psycho called Billy Lenz, who was brought up by cruel parents in that very sorority house ...

Her story (shown in flashbacks for our benefit) is curtailed when the telephone rings. A voice on the line threatens to kill the girls, claiming to be Billy Lenz and tells them that he's coming home. The girls Star 69 the call (America's equivalent of 1471) and are disturbed to learn it came from Claire's mobile phone. Now they realise they've not seen her all evening!

Initially the girls panic and plan to call the police. Heather has an even better plan, and announces that she is leaving for home immediately. But then in walks geeky foreign student Eve (Kathleen Kole) who the girls all act wary of - very post 9/11, sigh - and she hands a present to Heather. Suddenly, bizarrely, the girls all forget their initial fluster and get down to opening each other's gifts.

But more flashbacks of Lenz's unhappy upbringing serve to remind us that someone very disturbed has his sights on the house. And of course, it's not long before the girls receive another spooky call - this time from Megan's mobile - and the body count starts to rise.

But who is the killer? The dodgy foreigner Eve? The escaped loony Lenz? Estranged boyfriend Kyle? One of the college girls themselves? I couldn't possibly say.

Well-shot and lit, efficiently edited and ably paced, BLACK CHRISTMAS (a remake, of course, of the 1974 Bob Clark classic) is technically sound. It's also a lot gorier than the original, and spices things up on the sex/nudity front too. And yet, oddly, it feels a lot tamer than it's raw, genuinely scary predecessor.

For one, the girls her are not likeable. They're also utterly forgettable cardboard characters that are impossible to sympathise with or fear for. So what hope of stirring up suspense does director Glen Morgan (the WILLARD remake) have? Herein lies the main problem with this remake: it's not scary. It doesn't thrill, or grip, or disturb like the original did. It's horror-lite, mistaken in its belief that upping the gore quotient will disguise the fact that this is a very tepid ride indeed.

Its other problem is the unwise decision to deviate from the economic genius of Clark's story. The flashbacks of Lenz's upbringing are unnecessary, annoying and totally diverting in terms of any atmosphere of dread that Morgan may have been striving for. Come the final ten minutes of the film, any semblance of it's predecessor is obliterated with a ridiculous, unlikely finale.

Finally, there's the casting. The girls are all young and pretty of course, but uniformly devoid of personality - the script is partly to blame here, making no attempt to flesh out their characters. More experienced actresses may have overcome this problem though. Where's Margot Kidder when you need her?!

In all, 1974's BLACK CHRISTMAS was a film that perhaps could have benefited from a good makeover for modern audiences. The original is hailed as a cult classic and it is an above average film - but it's not as brilliant as some make out, and there was definitely room for improvement. Unfortunately Morgan and crew have missed it's point completely and delivered a hollow, if slick, rehash with only minor gore and the occasional pair of breasts to titillate the most forgiving of horror fans.

Pathe's disc is a solid affair.

The film is presented in anamorphic 2.35:1 and looks wonderful. Flesh tones are just right, images are sharp and bright, blacks are well controlled - a truly great presentation.

The 5.1 English audio is equally impressive. Optional English subtitles are also available.

Attractive animated menus include a scene-selection menu allowing access to the main feature via 12 chapters, and a plethora of interesting extras.

First up is a 26-minute interview with Morgan, intercut with plenty of insightful behind-the-scenes footage shot during the film's production.

Next we have 8 deleted scenes which can be watched individually or as one 10-minute featurette. There's little of significance here, but we do get a couple of alternate death scenes.

3 alternative endings are included, the most interesting of which is the one that played on the US theatrical release of the film. It's impossible to discuss these without throwing in "spoilers", so I won't. Although the US ending is the goriest - and the silliest.

Speaking of which, there follows an option to watch the US theatrical version of the film with the alternative ending intact. A nice inclusion.

The deleted scenes, alternative endings and US theatrical cut of the film are all presented in anamorphic widescreen.

Finally there's "What Have You Done: The Remaking of Black Christmas". This is an engaging half-hour featurette with plenty of cast and crew interviews, intercut with lots of on-set footage. It's great to see the late Clark interviewed, and there's footage of him visiting the set which is also nice. Also, it was good to see some involvement from Dan Duffin, webmaster of the ultimate Black Christmas fansite, www.itsmebilly.com. My only regret, knowing that Morgan had the savvy to consult these two, is that neither of them turned round at any point and said "Don't do it!".

A very good disc for a redundant film.

Review by Stuart Willis