CREEPOZOIDS

The year is 1998. Introductory text explains that it is 6 years since a nuclear war, and tiny clusters of human survivors roam the post-Apocalyptic wastelands of what used to be Earth in search of a haven from the mutants and acid rain that now cohabit the environment with them.

One such group of five mismatched people traverse a faceless, deserted American city one afternoon looking for somewhere where they can shelter and possibly find food. When one of them spies rain coming on the horizon, they hurriedly break into the nearest abandoned building.

Soon realising it to be a research centre previously ran by the government, the group split up to investigate their new surroundings further. Bianca (Linnea Quigley) goes with hot-headed Butch (Ken Abraham); her friend Kate (Ashlyn Gere) stays close to natural leader Jake (Richard Hawkins) and wimpy geek Jesse (Michael Aranda).

Despite finding a corpse , the group are satisfied enough to assume they're alone in the building - with shelter and sufficient provisions to keep them safe from threats such as radiation and acid rain for up to 2 years if need be.

They settle in (cue sex scene. In the shower, no less), until one of the group - the mandatory IT nerd Jesse - starts snooping on a disused computer and learns from its former owner's diary logs that experiments involving the genetic engineering of amino acids have produced some very unsavoury results.

Looking further into his new discovery, Jesse comes the inevitable cropper. It's only the next day, while having breakfast, that the rest of the group realise all is not well when Jesse suddenly barfs up black bile and then collapses.

Oh dear. Could it be that leftovers from said government experiments are still residing in the shadows of this building? Like, men in rubbery alien suits and the like...?

CREEPOZOIDS is brisk and short at only 69 minutes in length. It's fair to say that there's nary a dull moment in it. It's reasonably well-lit and, despite an obvious low budget, director David DeCoteau achieves a modicum of traditional sci-fi style in most scenes.

There are boobs - Quigley's, naturally - and there is gore. There are lo-fi FX such as explosions, monster mutations of the Troma variety (the alien baby is priceless) and cheap sets crumbling unconvincingly. The acting is hardly better, but is in keeping with a crappy script that at the very least raises unintentional smiles at frequent intervals.

DeCoteau's film, in other words, is as entertaining as it is bad. It's cheesy, cheap and corny - but fast, fun and frisky at the same time. The pilfering from ALIEN, ALIENS and DAY OF THE DEAD are obvious - and audacious, considering no-one involved in this poverty row production had any hope of helping the director achieve those films' levels of creative success.

This is also very much a product of its time in so far as its bad fashions, minimalist electro score (a poor man's John Carpenter) and even titles sequences which appear to have been generated on a ZX Spectrum. Great.

88 Films' DVD (part of their budget-priced 'Grindhouse' range) presents the film uncut in a window-boxed 1.33:1 aspect ratio. It appears to be correctly framed and, considering the film was shot back in 1987 on a truly miniscule budget of just $75,000.00, it's fair to say that it is the right ratio.

For such a shoestring production, you'd be forgiven for expecting the transfer to look like shit. On the contrary, the print used is surprisingly clean for the most part. Some damage is evident, but in the main colours are fairly strong, blacks are solid and the filmic texture is nicely warm.

English 2.0 audio is similarly decent throughout.

The disc opens to an animated main menu page. From there, a static scene-selection menu allows access to the film via 8 chapters.

Bonus features that relate directly to CREEPOZOIDS are limited to a well-produced stills gallery and its original trailer.

We also get a trailer reel of other films from the Full Moon roster: SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL SLEAZE-O-RAMA, PUPPET MASTER, DR ALIEN, PUPPET MASTER 2, TOURIST TRAP, ZOMBIES VERSUS STRIPPERS, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, PUPPET MASTER 3: TOULON'S REVENGE, CASTLE FREAK and CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH.

By far the most substantial extra on this disc though, and a most unexpected treat at that, is an obscure feature-length clip compilation from 1983 entitled FILMGORE.

Hosted by Cassandra Peterson (or - as she calls herself here, and as you'll no doubt know her better - Elvira, Mistress of the Dark), this is 2-hour visual history of bloody horror movies.

Following a protracted 8-minute montage of clips from the likes of DRIVE-IN MASSACRE, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, THE DRILLER KILLER and SNUFF, Elvira introduces us to the show, and the first film she wants to address in more detail: Herschell Gordon Lewis' seminal BLOOD FEAST.

Next up is THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, then THE DRILLER KILLER, then DRIVE-IN MASSACRE, THE ASTRO ZOMBIES, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, DR JECKYLL'S DUNGEON OF DEATH...

Despite the dark, muddy picture quality, it's always a pleasure to see clips of such films - even though we could've maybe done without the hostess' one-liners interspersed between the fun: instead of offering any insight into these films or their popularity, Elvira mostly goes bong-eyed for the camera and/or cracks jokes such as "this girl was engaged to a man with a wooden leg, but ... she broke it off!!".

Still, this film - as amateurish and cheaply put-together as it indisputably feels - comes with some interesting credentials attached to it. As well as being produced by Charles Band and hosted by Elvira, it's directed by Ken Dixon (THE BEST OF SEX AND VIOLENCE). Dixon also co-wrote the affair with none other than Forrest J Ackerman, editor of the legendary "Famous Monsters of Filmland" magazine.

Although window-boxed and clearly sourced from an old videotape, this one is a real curiosity that will no doubt provide 2 hours of fun viewing for those with a penchant for racing through the 'best' bits of cult gore films.

In fact, FILMGORE gets so much coverage in this review because it's the most interesting aspect of this disc.

That's not to say the disc is a bad one - it's not; 88 Films have done a great job here. And it's not to say that CREEPOZOIDS is devoid of entertainment value; on the contrary, it's a bad film but in all the most enjoyable of ways.

Review by Stuart Willis