247º FAHRENHEIT

Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton) coos in her boyfriend Jamie's (Tornike Gogrichiani) ear while he drives them along a lonely road one evening. Moments later, their car has crashed and Jamie lies motionless besides his screaming partner.

Fast-forward to three years later, and keen photographer Jenna is trying to move on with her life. So much so that she's agreed to a lakeside holiday with her friend Renee (Christina Ulloa). Renee's beau Michael (Michael Copon) is also in attendance, as is hunky Ian (Travis Van Winkle) - who's been lined up as a potential suitor to the single Jenna.

The group are young and attractive, the guys are pranksters, and between them they all like to listen to innocuous MOR rock while travelling to their log cabin destination. You know their type.

Upon arriving at said cabin, the girls are introduced to imposing Neanderthal-type Wade (Tyler Mane). He's Ian's uncle. It's his cabin and he's hired it out to the kids for the weekend. Plus, although he looks like a brute, he's loaded their fridge with beer and acquired passes to get them into a local party later that night. What a decent thing for him to have done, eh?

What do you suppose these youths get up to on their first evening? Why, drinking, fucking (Michael and Renee), heart-to-hearts, smoking dope ... You guessed all that though, right?

A few more drinks down their necks and the group decide it's time to get ready for that party. However, as Wade leaves for the night, Ian suggests the foursome strip down to their smalls and enjoy a spell in the cabin's sauna before venturing out. Against her better judgement, Jenna agrees to change into her bikini and join the other three.

They get hot and sweaty, then take a dip in the pool to cool off. Freezing, they then decide to get back in to Wade's homemade sauna to warm themselves back up. Then, in what I assume is a test of audience endurance, they do the same again. Only this time, Michael goes for a piss at the last minute ... and the other three end up locked inside a boiling hot sauna.

Oh dear. Has Michael locked his friends in there as a joke, as Renee suspects? Or has the wooden door simply swollen per Jenna's suggestion? No, scratch that notion - Ian is a graduate in physics, so he can ably explain how heat works (and does, on several occasions, during the film's second half). Whatever the reason, these three need to get out of there: especially Jenna, who it transpires is on medication for panic attacks - but thought it best not to take her pill on this particular morning ...

Crumbs. Panic sets in as the heavily perspiring trio realise Michael's either a total cunt or lying comatose somewhere, and Wade isn't coming to check in on them because he'll assume they're at the aforementioned party.

Can this hapless threesome survive their ordeal and escape? Can the audience predict the annoying anti-twist before co-directors Levan Bakhia and Bega Jguburia are ready to deliver it? Can we or the protagonists stay awake that long?

Billed as a "survival situation horror" to rival the likes of FROZEN and BURIAL, 247 does hold the attention and is reasonably well-shot. The performances weren't bad either, although no-one stands out ... unless I can cite Ulloa's figure in its tight pink bikini as a turn worthy of an Oscar nod? No?

Having just said all that though, there is a lack of plausibility to the situations presented in this film. People are drunk, but not like I've ever witnessed people on drink. Folk are trapped and assuming they're going to die of dehydration within hours, and yet their reactions range from the stunningly serene to the weirdly confrontational.

As with almost all 21st Century horrors too, the characters here are only concerned with self-preservation. I could give the filmmakers credit and suggest that this is their way of commenting on the "Me Generation" philosophy of modern youth ... but I suspect, per the lack of momentum and absence of creative filmic style, that it's simply another shortcoming in what amounts to being a really nondescript movie experience.

Tired, clichéd and sorely lacking in palpable tension, 247 is a film for casual viewers who prefer their horror with no bite whatsoever. And no real meaning, it has to be said: when you reach the twist, you feel cheated because ... well, if you've got 87 minutes to waste, you can see for yourself.

Anchor Bay UK bring 247 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT to blu-ray on a BD25 disc.

The film is presented uncut in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio. The 16x9 picture comes with the benefit of full 1080p resolution and looks pretty good in this MPEG4-AVC file. Depth of image is generally robust, while colours and blacks remain uniformly solid throughout. The transfer is best represented during the infrequent outdoor photography though; the interior scenes are less cinematic and comparatively soft, and therefore don't allow for much in the way of impressive eye-candy. Still, close-ups on faces and accurate skin-tones help this transfer along.

English audio comes in Dolby TrueHD 5.1 and is a very reliable mix despite the filmmakers not always using the channels to their full capacity. Optional English Hard-of-Hearing subtitles are well-written and easily legible at all times.

The disc opens to an animated main menu page. From there, pop-up menus include a scene-selection menu allowing access to the film via 12 chapters.

Bonus features begin with an audio commentary track from Bakhia. This is found in the Set-Up sub-menu.

It's an engaging extra which reveals Bakhia to be far more likeable than his film. He speaks with genuine fondness for the production, enthuses over the end result and talks openly about the post-production digital work applied to much of the sauna scenes. His sincerity as a filmmaker is evident and by the end of this track I was almost tempted to give 247 another watch through fresh eyes. Almost.

Three deleted scenes benefit from agreeable picture quality but bring nothing of new interest to this plate. They run, in 16x9 widescreen, for a total of 4 minutes.

Looking and feeling like a TV film, 247 is high on melodrama but paradoxically low on suspense. It's not a very good film and Anchor Bay's disc is mediocre. Full credit to them though for referring to Taylor-Compton as a "steam queen" in the press release though. Yes, that really is the most inspired thing about this entire release.

Also available on DVD.

Review by Stuart Willis